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    #31
    F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

    hey PW I read your posts on here and just wanted to say I can really relate to your story - the totally self-destructive tendencies, the need to try and shut out thinking, all that stuff. I'm 20 and I'm lucky that I have some kind of limit on my drinking right now (ie I cannot get too messed up whilst I live at home) but I know I have the potential to end up where you are, drink, drugs, anything. I don't share much about how I feel either (unles I'm drunk or kicking) but I wanted to tell you I can relate, and much as I'd love to hear from you that you'd gotten sober and were doing good, theres no judgement here if you don't (f*ck knows I'm in no place ot judge people for drinking right now). Just sending my best your way

    xIC
    I have faced it, a life wasted, and I am never going back there again

    To ya'll my name is inchy. I am an alcoholic - and priority number one is making it to the end of this day AF. No excuses.

    18.08.13

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      #32
      F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

      threedognight, yes I am in the states.

      Its just hard to give up a lifestyle that I love so much, every single thing about it! besides what its doing to my health.
      Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
      WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

      Comment

        #33
        F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

        Hi, PW.

        I can understand why you love your job, as it must be fascinating to know so much about wine and be able to make recommendations to people who enjoy good wine without abusing it. Sounds like it's the "hard" stuff that has you hooked. Also understandable!

        As I said in my previous post, you are very young and have a long life ahead of you if you can shake the addiction. I know you can do it! So many here have. For some of us, it just takes a little longer.

        Have you gotten the hypnosis CDs? A kind member here sent them to me, and I think they seem to help with the anxiety. Maybe somebody would send them to you. Also, have you tried AA? I haven't been to a meeting (except once) since my DUI, but it really can help to be face to face with others who have suffered from the same problem. You could try a meeting in another town/city if you feel uncomfortable going in your own community. I used to feel that way, and was so surprised to see so many people I knew at the meetings.

        I am in New England, by the way.

        Wishing you a great Sunday. Stay on the site--it is so worth it!

        TDN
        "One day at a time."

        Comment

          #34
          F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

          Just want say, NE, that this is one of the best posts I've read!! When I go to the rehab hospital--which will be for 10 days to two weeks-on July 5, there will be psychiatrists and MDs. Wonder if they might know about Bac?? Probably not. I have tried Campral and still have half of it, and also have the generic version of Celexa--Citalopril--didn't seem to help. I am a little afraid of ordering Bac and going on my own, although I see what you and others have achieved. Probably should have given it a shot months ago.

          Thank you for all of your wisdom and insight!!

          TDN
          "One day at a time."

          Comment

            #35
            F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

            PW, are you okay??

            Haven't seen a post, so am hoping that you are okay, professionalwino. Can you let us know? Just worried.

            TDN
            "One day at a time."

            Comment

              #36
              F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

              Dear PW

              I only saw you posting now, I am so happy and SO proud of you for coming back! I will keep looking for you on Google in my mornings, hope to see you there soon! You are highly intellegent, I have no doubt about that. You know exactly what to do, now just to make the commitment. And you have loads of support here! Remember Determinator? Hook up with him, you two had a few chats, and he is so inspiring!
              Look after yourself, and PM or Google anytime! Love ALWAYS!!! Sol xxx

              Comment

                #37
                F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                Called off work today with "food poisining"

                Getting bad, havent eaten in days, but have managed to drink quite a bit. its not good but I hope I figure it out.
                Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
                WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

                Comment

                  #38
                  F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                  You're still posting here so that is a good sign. Take a day to watch tv and lay in bed. Drink plenty of water and if you can't dump alcohol completely today work on cutting the amount.

                  You need to make the decision to stop because drinking is not going to make this situation any better.

                  Look at getting one day under your belt come hell or high water then another, then another.

                  Cliched as it is, one day at a time works. Oh and get some good solid healthy food into yourself, you'll feel better.

                  Good luck, keep posting.
                  I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

                  Comment

                    #39
                    F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                    Hi, PW.

                    So sorry that you are having such a bad time. Drinking that much and not eating for days isn't good. Yesterday a.m. I had such a bad heartburn from drinking too much, then tried to take a drink to help with the shaking and I actually threw up--first time in years! Also threw up at work and that wasn't good. Somehow I made it through the day, but the pain was really bad, and I think I have irritated my esophagus. Didn't eat all day, just drank soda. Tried another drink when i got home and it wouldn't go down and I knew I had had enough! I feel a little better this a.m.and was able to take a Prilosec last night and again this a.m. TodayI am going to start back on my supplements. I do not want another day like yesterday! Do you have any symptoms like this? If you aren't eating, you probably do.

                    I hope that today is a better one for you!

                    Keep posting, okay?

                    TDN
                    "One day at a time."

                    Comment

                      #40
                      F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                      Well I woke up today and felt ok....and then I started vomiting bile for 15 minutes, had really bad sweats and couldnt stop shivering. Can't stop coughing either...either messed my esophagus up or I have pneumonia again (it happens to me every summer for some reason). Went to the store got a ton of gatorade and some vodka...Had a bout a pint before I went in to work to make it so I didn't shake. I have to work the next 2 nights and I know I am just going to repeat this. Hoping some time off and maybe a slap upside the head this week will put me into a better place.
                      Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
                      WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

                      Comment

                        #41
                        F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                        Hi, PW.

                        I hope that you are feeling a little better. Vomiting is awful and sure does seem to irritate the esophagus. I still felt pain yesterday, but it improved by last night. I am focusing on staying sober and taking vitamins and supplements. Maybe some of these could help you. One thing a friend recommended (not for drinking) is Ionic Fizz, and I am trying to take it twice a day. Supposed to give you energy, yet promote better sleep. I got it from Amazon. Doesn't taste too bad. I have also started coconut oil again--give it to my dogs, as well. And coconut water is like Gatorade, but even better I think. Getting rehydrated really helps! I was surprised that I was not shaky yesterday,and so far this a.m. I feel okay.

                        I hope that you get some help and maybe just get one AF day in. Hard, I know, as I have failed at that so many times myself.

                        Hope work isn't too stressful for you these two evenings.

                        Have you been able to find the MYO CDs? I think they might help,too.

                        Hang in there, and Happy July 4th.

                        TDN
                        "One day at a time."

                        Comment

                          #42
                          F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                          Don't have the cd's....I dont have a day off in the next seven days except for the 4th, doubt that will be an AF day. I am kind of giving up, for now at least, I know that I am going to have to drink to make it through a work day, I have to make it through all my workday's to pay my rent and bills, and If I stop working, I will go back to drugs...

                          Trying to eat and take my vitamins, but I need something to help with the shakes and the sweats....I promise I will make it through this, just gonna be a long process that I am not going to enjoy.
                          Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
                          WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

                          Comment

                            #43
                            F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                            I think you need to get some Valium or Librium from a doctor to help work through the shakes and sweats part of it, but you need to be AF when you start it, I think. My doctor prescribed it for only two days, but in detox they give it to you until the side effects are gone and they monitor your blood pressure.

                            I sure hope you get through the seven days of non-stop work and can maybe think about tapering or quitting.

                            Is there anyone who can help you through it? If not, you always have this forum.

                            Good luck, and check back in later on.

                            TDN
                            "One day at a time."

                            Comment

                              #44
                              F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                              mind is gone....
                              body, definately on its way out.
                              idea of self....on its way out, have a feeling there wont be many post from me for a while.
                              Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?
                              WC: He'd think I was a sissy.

                              Comment

                                #45
                                F'd UP again! I guess I'll post this twice

                                This is very upsetting to me. You are so young, and I just want you to get your life back. I hope somebody on here can help. I don't know how to get into the chat, but maybe I can figure it out. Must be under "live chat." Don't know how I can help you, but I'll do what I can. Just let me know. I know you are supposed to work the next seven days, but I can't see how you can possibly do that in this state. I wish that you'd go to the ER, but I know you will think that it is impossible.

                                Try to hang on, PW. You are worth it!

                                TDN
                                "One day at a time."

                                Comment

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