Please help..I feel so crap

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

Queenbug congrats on your time AF! Definitely be proud! Regarding your friends, most "normies" have no idea what it's like for us alkies. My family goes to al-anon, and I have a couple friends that I've known my whole life that kind of have an idea what it's like for me, but it's difficult for most people to understand why we can't stop drinking. I wouldn't worry about that too much.

The good news about us all being alkies is that we can all relate, so you should never feel ashamed about posting any slips here. We all care and want what's best for you. Stay strong.

[Abdiel]

Please help..I feel so crap

A thought that helps me keep focused when I'm craving...

Hey there:

This is a technique that so far has helped - and it's a positive one. I added up the amount (roughly) I spent in one year on alcohol. Then I added it approximately what it would cost to do the following things that I've said I couldn't afford in the past). Those things were:

Doing my nails every 2 weeks
Getting my hair cut every six weeks
Getting a year's membership in a really nice gym
Buying fresh flowers for my dining room table twice a month

Guess what - the amount I spend on alcohol was more than twice what I would have spent on those things. So, I wrote those two amounts - in lipstick - on my bathroom mirror!

I've tried quitting before, and using negative mantras (you know the type) but this positive one about all the lovely - and doable things - I could have - and I see that number every time I comb my hair - it's helped me a lot!

:h

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

Thanks SlipperyPete, it is weird how you can feel close to people but we don't talk about some really important things isn't it. This Friday is going to be hard because it's the end of a week long event at work and there are plans for celebrating etc., but I just don't want to crash so hard as last weekend so I'm hoping that I can hold it together...I might have to make an excuse and not go...I'll see.

Abdiel...those are things that I haven't managed to afford for so long...so maybe one of those treats might be possible.

I'm happy but getting nervous, nearly the end of day 3...day 4 is usually my crisis point...if I'm here tomorrow saying I've managed I will be AMAZED...but happy too. Fingers crossed.

Hope everybody out there ok...xx

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hey Queen,

How did day 4 go? Tell us all about it. Or, at least me.

[Doggygirl]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hi Queen. I too am wondering how you are doing.

DG

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hya! Sorry it's been a while, I've had a really busy week and unexpected guests Wednesday and Thursday pm, plus last night an afterwork celebration...and I did it all AF!!! I think I may have swapped my need for red wine for fizzy water and lemon...but hey! who cares!!!! Last weekend seemed so very bad, but here I am on Day 7! It isn't easy but I just really don't want to be so low and full of hating myself like I was last weekend.
I've worked out that I really find the weekday evenings without wine hard but if I can just get to 10pm when the shop shuts, I sort of relax a bit and towards the end of the week I started to sleep a bit better.
I'm so amazed I got through last nights celebrations without a drink...this is my first week without a drink in about 10 years...and I began to say to friends that I really had given up and some started to hear me I think.
I feel good...
I hope you are all ok?
Big love...and I have a huge grin on my face xx

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

Queenbug - that's amazing! Wowzers...The first week is of course the hardest. Whatever method you used to go AF is obviously working so keep it up! And keep us posted, ok? I wanna hear how you're doing!

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

Thanks SP. and DG.. 6 Days in!!!!!
I admit I'm very surprised at myself. I was just chatting on another thread and saying that I keep this HALTS mantra going in my head and fiddling with a piece of turquoise thread I have on my wrist when I'm struggling bad...along with the fizzy water of course...and although I feel like I'm fighting a red wine monster...I seem to be doing better than other times I've tried this.

I was thinking that maybe I'm not a crazy lady after all??....until I realised that I was a SOBER mantra-ing, fizzy drinking, thread fiddling crazy lady instead of a drunk/hungover crazy lady...still...I'm hoping that's progress!!

How are you doing? OK?
xx

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

Queen - as long as you're not SOBER mantra-ing to yourself while dumping fizzy water on your head on a bus with people staring at you, I'd say you're good

Remember: ANYTHING is better than being that crazy drunk lady! I hated being that crazy drunk lady! And I'm a man!

And I'm doing pretty good, thanks for asking. I think it speaks volumes that you're concerned about other people.

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

Nope...so far I've not resorted to tipping the fizzy water over my head, but am certainly having moments of feeling awash with it! Gotta love bubbles though eh?

I think a lot about the people here...I've been so supported, even when I just can't do the sober thing and want to chuck it in, there is always someone to talk to...really got me through tricky times...:wave:

Glad you are doing good

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

Yes Queen, these boards are full of amazing people. I have incredible respect for the people here, and there's a bond between alcoholics who want to be sober that is perhaps one of the strongest bonds out there. Keep up the good work

[TheSunFlower]

Please help..I feel so crap

Even though these are not alkie books

I finished reading "Quantum Wellness" by Kathy Freston.....and then read parts of her "21 Day Cleanse"......the AL part really make sense on why we get hooked. I doubt for any of us it happend overnight.

Years ago.....I did go to my doctor. His family had a huge history of AL......and I still hear his words of wisdom....."This is not your fault, but it your responsiblity to take care of this". I think alot of things happen to us in life that are not our fault, but we need to take care of them.

[SarahJane]

Please help..I feel so crap

Wow Queenbug you are doing great.

Sunflower I love that quote- it just makes so much sense.

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

Thanks Sunflower and Pete and SJ and everyone else that has held me up over this last 7DAYS!!!!!! I just cannot beleive what a difference a week can make! I havent managed more than the occasional 4 days AF in a very long time and last weekend I was so low I felt as if there was no way out at all...and thanks to some fantastic support here...7 bloody days!!!!

Now I'm going to go for 10 days...see if I can make double figures!
Happy Sunday folks....big big big big love to you all...x
:wave:

[Guitarista]

Please help..I feel so crap

10 day's? Ah!.... a piece of cake for you now friend!

Stick with it. You know you are following your truth. It get's better you know, but we must be patient, and quietly persistent i reckon, as the magic and treasure slowly but surely unfold's before us. Trust me, and have faith in you.

Best wishes, Greg.