Please help..I feel so crap

[FlyAway]

Please help..I feel so crap

Great job!

[SlipperyPete]

Please help..I feel so crap

How you doin Queenie?

[DriftyAlison0]

Please help..I feel so crap

Like some others have said, take it a minute at a time if you have to and get right back on the wagon. Remember how waking up not hungover feels like and remember how a hangover feels like when the cravings hit.

[Girl1973]

Please help..I feel so crap

I am a piece of sh*t.................wtf I need help

[Unwasted]

Please help..I feel so crap

Girl - are you okay?

[cailin]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hi this 'thread' if that is the right lingo, I found brill. I only started new here and Queenbug you have me feeling like I'm looking in a mirror of my life but you went 7 days without drink on the last post. Would like to chat here also if that is ok. Hope girl 1973 you are good also:new:.

[Girl1973]

Please help..I feel so crap

No. not okay - dear Lord when will this end? I was a shaky wreck at work today.....afraid to stop as I feel I will have bad side effects. I want to stop SOOOO bad but, can't. I am slowly kililng myself - with the anxiety and GI problems. Ugh I don't think I will ever stop until I am dead. I give you all credit that manage to go AL free, wish I could do it....

[K9Lover]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hi Girl!
Please check in and let us know how you are. I relate to what you went through at work...I felt like that everyday at work for YEARS. It CAN get better, and we are here to help, you just need to stick around.
Sorry to hijack Queenie's thread. Hope you're well too Queenie...let us know!
Wishing you both strength.
K9

[beautifullife]

Please help..I feel so crap

Hello Girl-
I know all too well how you feel. I have been "trying" and "trying" to be AF, but can't seem to get it. I have been on a horrible binge for the last two weeks and am disgusted with myself, always! I know I am slowly killing myself as well. I got scared today because my heart has been racing and pounding out of my chest for some reason that I cannot explain... The only thing I can think of is it is directly related to the horrific amount of AL I drank yesterday. So much that I wound up blacking out, and do not remember the last several hours of my night. I have to be honest about this and quit trying to hind from it or imagine it didn't happen because if continue to brush it under the rug nothing will ever get solved. Sorry for hijacking your thread, as well, Queen. Girl- I am wishing you the best and strength.
Queen- I know you from other threads, as well, and I am wishing you the best, strength and hope you are well.
K9- your note above... I love my daughter more than alcohol... really hit me hard to wake the f*** up! Because I love my son and daughter more than alcohol. Thank you for the shake up! Wishing you the best also!

beautifullife

[RitaNow]

Please help..I feel so crap

Just wanted to put in a note of encouragement for all who are still following this thread ... esp to those who are struggling .... A dear friend gave me this after I was 7 days AF -- (I am 6 weeks AF) I've taped this to my mirror along with some good posts from people here. They really do help when you feel so alone, hopeless and like you just can't do it. I hope you are all finding the strength today to stay AF ... this one day. For that one day is all you need. Tomorrow is safely locked far away and can't be touched no matter what you think about it today. Hope you can "file for divorce" from AL (or Alice if you are a guy) today. Pack his/her bags , throw them in the trash, clear your calender from "dates" with him/her, and tell all of your family and friends that you've not only broken up and are separated - but that you've served divorce papers. You'll be empowered by humbling yourself to actually divorce publicly from this horrible relationship - and grab onto the support that other people can be to keep you away from this monster.

Dear Al
When I hooked up with you - I wish I'd known it was "for better or worse". I thought we were just dating. That I could break up when ever I wanted. I didn't realize how abusive you were. Of course we've had our days, like any other couple. But being with you has made my life so overwhelmingly bad. With you, I always thought I had someone who understands and knows how to make the good times better and the tough times so much easier to bear. I never imagined you would turn so fiercely on me. I should have have seen this coming - I've deep down always known you would kill me given the opportune moment. But somehow like others I've know who were in abusive relationships, I couldn't say good-bye. I just never thought I'd be ... "one of those".....

Well - my life is racing on quickly. I've decided I'm soon getting to old to find someone new. So I'm doing it now while I still have a chance at a new relationship. One with Someone who will treat me like a precious worthy person. Who won't physically ravage me beyond recognition, who won't mentally beat me brain dead, who won't emotionally cripple me, who won't spiritually bankrupt me. I was introduced to him once. Mr. Sober. I know just enough about him to know I do deserve someone like him. So today I am not just breaking up with you .... I am divorcing you. Even though we never said our "vows" - we were together long enough to be legally married - so I am serving you your papers. Sorry. We'll actually I'm not so sorry. See what you've done to me??!! I'm apologizing to you! You don't deserve even a good-bye for what you've done to me!

I know you don't believe me - as we've broken up before - and your asking me what would possibly make this time different.... that you know I'll be back soon. We'll AL - the difference is that I found my voice and I realize I have a choice. I accept that it may be hard in the early days staying away from you - but I have full faith in my ability to say no to you and then I have found a huge support team who will tie me up before they let me run back to you!! Between ME and THEM - I'm never coming back - so even if you don't sign these papers of divorce ... my signature below is all that is needed to make it final.

Oh ya ... Happy 29th anniversary. There won't be a 30. The relationship is over.

Signed ............... RITA 7/30/11
Legal Documents of Divorce from AL

[beautifullife]

Please help..I feel so crap

Thank you, Rita-- I cut, pasted and emailed myself that letter. Now I will print it out and post it on my bathroom mirror. Bless you... xoxoxoxo

Beautifullife

[Queenbug]

Please help..I feel so crap

girl, cailin, k9, beautiful...if you all still there...an update...I did manage some serious (for me) AF time...built up to 10 days...slipped a bit then had 'get my head down have to do this' time and managed 31 whole days!...it can be done...did the book...L Glut...gym and worked through stuff with my kids...felt great...you can do it too )....am stumbling today as I finish a bottle of red...few old triggers just got the better of me...but now I feel armed with what I have learnt already from the people here. I needed to step away for a bit as I was obsessing as much about the days and being on line as I was about drinking....nothing wrong at all in that...but I wanted to see how long I could just rely on me...am actually very proud...and know I can do it again...this I learnt from the good people here....stick with it peeps xx :wave:

[Geekteeth]

Please help..I feel so crap

You should be very proud queen! Pull out those tools you! Much love!

[Juja]

Please help..I feel so crap

Queenbug,

There you are! I'm glad to see you. All my old peeps are MIA--Enough!, Winesucks, Flyaway--the ones who, along with you, first gave the encouragement and strength to try being AF.

I'm happy you've decided you can give it another go. You can do it, as can we all, somehow.

I'm not doing so well, and have been away from the boards. I don't know what happened--triggers, like you, I suppose. Maybe I'll dust myself off again soon, find a path and make a plan. 5 1/2 weeks down the tubes....

:l Juja

[Daya]

Please help..I feel so crap

Ah Queenbug

I know how you feel. And if you read my posts, you will know that is true. The feeling is like nothing in this world. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, except to say if I can turn a corner , then so can you.
For some strange reason I know longer fear alcohol, or to be more exact, I know longer fear myself with it. I nonlinger fight it, I have just decided I don't like it. I went through something significant this week, and actually liked myself so much better without it. I feel almost innocent.
Remember " alcohol is not your friend, you are your friend"
And also remember, across all space and time, their will never be another Queenbug" you are unique, with all your thought, fears, loves, failures and triumphs there will literally never be another one such as you . This is true of all of us.

That alone should give you some idea of your amazing magnificence. Go gently on yourself. XXXX