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[Ann]

Hi, been here many times before. I am stuck. I have been drinking non stop for the last 6 months. I can't control it. Am very upset and worried about myself. 56+ units per week, effecting my work life and not sure if it is because I am masking a depression or simply having a huge alcohol problem which is making me feel like I am buried under it. Help. Ann

[daisy45]

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Hi Ann. You've come here and that is a step in the right direction. I was in the same place as you in September last year until I found this place. I am only on day8 AF this time with the determination that I will no longer touch alcohol.
Since coming here most of my days have been Al-free with a few slips along the way. Check out the Newbies Nest, you will find great support there. Keep reading as much as you can here - you will be amazed at the wealth of information and experiences from everyone. Checking in regularly and posting is important for you too.
You could be right about depression but the only way to find out for real is when you clock up those al-free days. Everything becomes clear then.
I wish you well and look forward to getting to know you.

[Queenbug]

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Hi Anne...I think you posted on my 'help I feel crap' plea yesterday/today? Thankyou...it's good to know we are here for each other eh?
I'm just up to day 2 tonight...I havent managed past Day 4 in years...and I've been on Prozac for depression off and on at several points in my life...not at moment though...I think what Daisy says is true...we have to get those al-free days under our belts so that we can work out if its real or what alcohol is doing to our systems. There was a post by someone I was reading here about this...was it Proffessionalwino?? Helped me...might help you?
Stay with it...we CAN do this petal...sending love and hugs :h x

[Doggygirl]

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Hi Ann. I went several rounds here before I finally "got it" too! (looking at your join date of 2006) I can relate to how you describe your last 6 months. That's how my last 8 months of drinking was. I felt suicidal. In my case, the intense depression was AL driven and it cleared up when I was finally able to stop drinking. Hopefully it will be that way for you too.

DG

[cpn1004]

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Ann, like everyone else said...me too. I can relate. It took me a long time to finally stop drinking every day. It is not easy....it seems simple, but it takes what it takes.
Keep coming back and don't give up.

[Lavande]

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Hi Ann,

I can relate as well. In my case the depression came first then the drinking then the depression worsened. I finally went to the doc & was put on Rx antidepressants. The left me feeling numb & I continued to drink. I did a lot of searching & found an OTC herbal product that worked quickly & effectively. In less than 3 months after starting that I was AF & have been ever since.

There is a way out for everyone, keep searching
I hope you find your soon!

Lav

[Bluesy]

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Lavande, can you share the herbal supplement that has helped so much? I have been on zoloft for about a year and feel foggy all the time. Once again, I am at that crossroad, too. I can't live like this anymore but am dragging my feet. Have the AA meeting, time written down for tomorrow. I have proven I cannot control myself when left to my own devices which is just so pathetic and makes me furious with myself. It's so all or nothing with AA which puts me off. I just don't know what else to do at this point.

[Ann]

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Hi guys, thanks so much for the replies. 6 replies in a few hours - that's really kind when you feel so alone. Ok, point taken about needing to be AF for a few days to sort out the depression from the drinking. The only time I manage not to drink is when I have to stay with family who don't drink. I live alone so it's hard to do it myself.

Can some of you maybe give me an idea about the amount you would be drinking if left to your own devices? I guess I'm trying to actually tell myself I have a problem - even tho I know it anyway!!! Thank you. Ann x

[SlipperyPete]

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Ann - I live alone too so I know the feelings of loneliness, especially when I can't stop drinking. When I'm working, I'm usually able to hold off on the drinking till night, but not always. When I've been unemployed, then all bets are off and I go off the deep end fast. Keep in mind that "having a problem with alcohol" is different for everyone. Some people can drink like a fish and still hold things together, while some people fall apart with what would not be considered a large amount of alcohol. The only thing that matters is whether you think you have a problem. And you'll know.

Getting to the point where you want help is a huge step towards changing, so you should feel great that you're here and reaching out. Keep your head up and keep posting here!

[newdaynow]

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Ann- I know I have a problem and I am close to the 56+ units per week. I don't like to admit it, and feel like everyone else is drinking...it is the amount that I am drinking compared to others, and the fact that I now black out most of the time.
It has been an up and down roller coaster, and I am trying not to drink during the week, and only on the weekends, but have not been very successful with that. Although, I have had more AF days this year, than I probably have had in the last 3 years combined.
While I don't live alone, I am very lonely, and think that is a big part of the problem. Plus it is habit, opening the wine, watching my favorite TV shows, etc. Need to break the pattern, but I have been doing it for a long time.
So, here is to us, to figuring it out and getting our life back, AF.
One day at a time.

[Queenbug]

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Hello again Ann, hope that you are feeling better now. I spend a lot of time alone too, single parent and kids growing up and away...youngest almost 18, out and about and staying at times with his dad...I have been holding it together at work too but asap demolishing min. bottle of red at night....way more at weekends especially if I'm alone whole time...similar to OP, my depression came first but the increase in my drinking over last decade has really made it much worse, along with anxiety and some paranoia....not sure of units here...too scared to work it out.
Today I've got to day 3 and I'm hoping to pass day 4...I haven't done that for years.
Loneliness, anxiety, habit...all plays a part...but now I really need to stop....but its very scarey eh?
I second newdaynow...here is to us...one day at a time xx

[Ann]

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Thanks Queenbug & New Day! Yeah, it's crap to be in this situation and anyone from the outside looking in would say 'it's your own fault' but I really believe alcohol problems are a complex mix of brain chemistry, DNA, childhood trauma and event sometimes a lot of 'self sabotage' thrown in there if you are a high achiever/someone who is a perfectionist.
Its 4.13pm my time now and I made it past the 12pm milestone and the 3pm milestone for having a drink. I'm trying to get to 8pm tonight so I can just go to bed then and that will be Day 1.
I did a quiz recently that came up with the result that my level of drinking is the same as less than 1% of the adult female population! That means my 56+ units a week constitutes more than 99% of women ever drink. Also read in the posts on this thread that is takes 5 days AF to kinda 'dry out' and take a snapshot of where I'm at without the filter of alcohol.
It's really tough, and yet today was a better day because of not drinking.....there's a few hours to go yet though....
Queenbug fair play to you - how did you get to 4 days? NewDayNow, I totally hear you about the bottle of wine and the TV - I think there are millions of women in the same boat, they just don't admit it.....
Love Ann :thanks:

[Queenbug]

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I'm still crawling to the end of day 3 here...it's 9.49pm here, shop over the road closes at 10pm....I've made myself go to bed to get past the next 10 mins without running over there for a bottle!!! I haven't made it past day 4 in 10 years so not quite there yet!!!
Ive been drinking fizzy water and lemon, trying to make sure my sugar levels don't drop (sometimes I work through breaks and lunch if its extra busy at work, then drive home hungry and buy red wine...bonkers!) I'm making sure that I eat at least a banana or a piece of strong dark chocolate...trying to avoid too much bread/carbs...seems to make struggle harder...I found the HALT thing good too...HungryAngryLonelyTired...just helps me to be reminded about what could set me off. Someone here said about a thread that they wear that they look at it to remind them...like an abstinence bracelet..that might be something I try...feel like I need an amulet/token to help. Am I nuts?
If I get past Day 4 I'd like to treat myself. Got buggerall money...any suggestions?
Its 10pm....did it Day 3 begone!!!! Whoop!!!!!...now where's that banana?! :H xx

[professionalwino]

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Queenbug;1146236 wrote: I'm still crawling to the end of day 3 here...it's 9.49pm here, shop over the road closes at 10pm....I've made myself go to bed to get past the next 10 mins without running over there for a bottle!!! I haven't made it past day 4 in 10 years so not quite there yet!!!
Ive been drinking fizzy water and lemon, trying to make sure my sugar levels don't drop (sometimes I work through breaks and lunch if its extra busy at work, then drive home hungry and buy red wine...bonkers!) I'm making sure that I eat at least a banana or a piece of strong dark chocolate...trying to avoid too much bread/carbs...seems to make struggle harder...I found the HALT thing good too...HungryAngryLonelyTired...just helps me to be reminded about what could set me off. Someone here said about a thread that they wear that they look at it to remind them...like an abstinence bracelet..that might be something I try...feel like I need an amulet/token to help. Am I nuts?
If I get past Day 4 I'd like to treat myself. Got buggerall money...any suggestions?
Its 10pm....did it Day 3 begone!!!! Whoop!!!!!...now where's that banana?! :H xx

Youre not nuts, lol....your thread has helped me as well! Needing/having something on you everyday to remind you of why you want/need to be sober is awesome.....carry a picture of someone that means a lot to you or anything that reminds you of why you are in this fight is a great idea. I am not an AA guy but that chip does remind people every day why they are staying sober. I wish much luck to you.

[ChazyMe]

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Hello

:new:

Hi all.....I am not a drinker, but my partner is. I have put up with his drinking for over 20 years now and am at a point where I need to tell him that he needs to make a decision to either stop or move. I don't want to force him to do something he does not want to do, but for me, I just don't care to live around it anymore. I understand addiction as I am a recovering drug addict....and I smoke currently, so I know I need to be careful with this. I guess this is why I am here for the now. Appreciate the threads I have seen as it has helped with some insight. I care deeply about this person in my life, but I dont' care for his drinking.....any input will be greatfully appreciated.

Candy