I surrender

[RedThread12]

I surrender

Awww . . . Bean . . . here's a "poor baby." I remember how shit it feels just to wake up when the drinking is happening like that. I've been on this board since Oct. '09, and I think you've been around a while, too. I found MWO during a relapse after 3 years sober doing all the other stuff. I tried again, some more, but that didn't work.

I was an early adapter of baclofen. I haven't been drunk since the first day I took the first pill. Literally, I got my life back the next day. This is NOT the usual story for baclofen, but it is mine. If you're really, really through and want some pharmaceutical help, you might jump over to the meds thread and check it out, or pm me. Baclofen has worked for me for over 2 years, with my physician monitoring all the relevant indicators regarding High Dose Baclofen.

I'm all for anything that works, believe me! I'm just sad to see you keep on suffering.

[Shorty]

I surrender

I too drink early in the morning sometimes. These past two years I went from drinking a few days a month to everyday. I knew I was in trouble when I started drinking first thing in the morning on the weekends. It's time to stop and get this under control. Today is my day 1 alcohol free. I also suffer from depression and the alcohol makes it worse. I promised myself I'm working on 30 days first. Getting back to the gym lifting weights. I guess the idea is to keep busy.

[Bean]

I surrender

Hey Red & Shorty

Red - I am generally rather against taking meds for anything unless ABSOLUTELY necessary but lately I have found myself thinking that I might be open to the idea of Baclofen (or something) if this latest attempt doesn't work. Thanks for your input. I will definitely get in touch if I find myself wanting to explore that avenue.

Shorty: keeping busy definitely helps. I am usually a very social and outgoing person, someone people consider a 'good' friend. Since my drinking has got worse/earlier/heavier/more frequent I find myself not returning calls or emails, cancelling social arrangements and generally isolating myself from others. This also makes me depressed because at heart I am a social person who feels good when I connect with others. AL gets in the way of all of that and I HATE to let people down so it's a motivator for me to stay sober.

I've just jumped back on the Monthly mods boards - they are a welcoming and inspiring bunch on there. Come join us!

Bean

[Bean]

I surrender

Sorry, I meant monthly ABS boards. It's late....I haven't been drinking, honest guv

[Chillgirl]

I surrender

Bean - your description of yourself could easily have been me! I have always been a gregarious outgoing person but in my latter drinking days I changed completely. I didn't return calls and often when friends were concerned and came round I didn't even open the door to them! I started declining all social invitations and when I did go out I started to experience anxiety before I'd go. I'd leave early so I could get back home as quickly as possible and drink alone. I became depressed and suicidal.

The good news for me was all this was the catalyst for quitting. If it hadn't got so bad I would probably still be drinking. I actually spent a lot of time playing out in my head what my alcohol free life would look like and as I got used to the idea it became something I could really imagine. Now I have my spark back and without alcohol to hide behind I'm a more genuine confident person than I was before.

You can do this!

[RedThread12]

I surrender

I'm laughing a little, Bean. I was a vegetarian for 20 years and never took anything stronger than echinacea. Grew my own wheat grass for juice . . . the whole nine yards. What was toxic, elevating my liver enzymes and undermining my sense of worth and well-being, was alcohol.

I was fortunate. I had a decade of sobriety, then 3-4 years of hell with AL, then 3 years of sobriety, then a relapse I couldn't find my way out of until I tried baclofen. It worked. Almost immediately and almost no side effects. I'm really not trying to encourage you to try it. You WILL find YOUR way out.

I was just so sick and with so little self-esteem that finally taking a pill didn't seem like nearly such a big deal as waking up wanting to die each day. Good luck!!

[Bean]

I surrender

Ha! I know Red - isn't it nuts? I am for the most part pretty healthy (though I've never grown wheat grass. That stuff tastes rank IMO)

With a couple AF days under my belt it feels good to laugh at the insanity of drinking and feel hope that I can find my way out. Hope has been in short supply round here lately but I found a bit down the back of the sofa and that's my starting point.

Have a great day all comers to this thread!
Bean

[Nichau]

I surrender

LOL @ "down the back of the sofa"!!! :-)