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    #1

    My first time on here, day 2 sober

    This is my first time on here, after reading some posts and replies, I cried and cried. Feeling desperate, alone and foolish. It's sadly comforting to know there are others who struggle with this. I just ordered some supplements and hypnosis cd's. I am desperate here for healing.

    My guy won't even talk to me after one too many belligerant outbursts. I have managed to hold onto my job, and hide this from everyone else, but feel increasingly out of control. And now his family and boss know, cat's out...

    Have any of you done this without going into treatment? I don't have insurance or a ton of money, but I'm bad enough off to KNOW that I need help. 12 steps are not for me, this isn't God's job to fix, it's mine. Plus, God as I understand it at this point would be alcohol. So, there's that. I actually believe that I got myself into this, the idea of schlepping off the responsibility elsewhere seems futile and possibly just another dependency. Although, perhaps I'm just full of BS. Any thoughts, ideas, hope that's worked for any of you would be much appreciated, I am open to considering anything reasonable right now.

    Thanks for providing a place to share....
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    #2
    My first time on here, day 2 sober

    :welcome: Persephone and well done on 2 days sober.

    Most of the folks here do this without going into treatment. There are many way to get AL out your life and being here is one of the best! If you haven't already checked it out please go to https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html which has some amazing advice.

    Staying around here, Checking in regularly, reading and posting your feelings is a great way to start. The support is tremendous and I couldn't have got sober without the wonderful people here. The 12 steps is not for everyone but there are parts of it that could really help you, it's worth exploring every avenue. There is also a book which helped me greatly which was Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking, check it out.

    I wish you much strength.
    "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
    AF - JAN 1st 2010
    NF - May 1996

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      #3
      My first time on here, day 2 sober

      Persephone welcome to mwo you have come to a great place with lots of advice and great support in fighting this monster.Read as many posts as you can and you will see that you are not alone,Beating this can be done without going into treatment or going to AA and there are a few people here who have a achieved this,me being one of them,But imo don't rule anything out before you even start,take what you want from the different tools here and leave the rest behind,there are some great posts in the tool box thread which is in the monthly absence thread also As chill has said allen carr's book is a great read, good luck and don't quit quitting :-)


      :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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        #4
        My first time on here, day 2 sober

        Hi Persephone, and welcome. You've found a GREAT place with great people ready and willing to help you. And we've all been where you are, so there's tons of empathy and understanding. Chill's and Mario's suggestions are great. When I first found this forum I spent days reading people's stories, suggestions, struggles, successes . . . there's SO much valuable information in so many different places. I don't know the exact proportions, but my guess would be that more people have found their way out without going into treatment than have, but it's always an option and can be a great one.

        Don't be shy . . . ask questions, talk to people, and read, read, read . . . you're about to start a great adventure to find your way out. Congratulations!!

        If you can make those 2 days 5 days, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel! And here's just a suggestion regarding the supps - hope you got L-Glutamine powder. If not, it's worth finding and taking a LOT more than is prescribed on the container. 10-15 GRAMS/day is where a lot of people, myself included, find the most relief from craving. You can a lot of L-Glutamine and supp information in "Holistic Health." Sounds like you're making good first steps. Good luck. It's doable . . . we're proof!
        "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

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          #5
          My first time on here, day 2 sober

          Thank you for your kind words and many suggestions. I ordered the book just now, lots of great reviews. Also, wondering thoughts on the hypnosis cd's offered through MWO. Today is a good one. This place feels like it could be a new home.

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            #6
            My first time on here, day 2 sober

            Hi persephone & welcome to MWO

            I personally loved the Hypno CDs & recommend to everyone just starting out. They helped me to relax without AL for the first time in ? years. They also helped me change my thinking about AL & that's a big deal!

            Here's a link to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html. It's full of good ideas to help you make a plan for yourself. A strong commitment & a good plan along with the CDs helped me get to where I am now

            Drop in the Newbies Nest thread for more support!

            Wishing you the best, keep up teh great work!

            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment

              #7
              My first time on here, day 2 sober

              Welcome Persephone! Everyone here is amazingly helpful and I too feel so comfortable! It's a great place.
              'You might not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you!' - Walt Disney

              I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~Agatha Christie

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                #8
                My first time on here, day 2 sober

                Welcome! There are so many people here who have been about to quit drinking without formal treatment! I for one believe every person is so unique, that there can can not be one shoe that fits all. I for one am not into AA - that shoe doesn't fit me - but for others, it is one more tool in what works for them.

                Hang here with us - you will find amazing support, suggestions and friendship! Best wishes to you!
                Put your hands over your heart - and tell yourself that you are going to guard this essence of who you are with everything. Alcohol opens us up to darkness and depression instantly. You choose love today. Guard it by keeping the poison out of your body. It IS poison.



                NF - May 2, 2013 (cig free Jan. 25, 2013)
                AF - July 31, 2013
                :lordhelpme:

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                  #9
                  My first time on here, day 2 sober

                  Hi there Per,
                  You can do this. This site is a wonderful place to start, to get heaps of support, and to get some knowledge that you are NOT alone!

                  Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My first time on here, day 2 sober

                    Hi Persephone, if you haven't done so already, make sure you check out the meds section of the forum Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums. You don't have to go to AA and you don't have to white-knuckle it, there are medications to treat alcoholism these days.

                    The unexamined life is not worth living

                    Comment

                      #11
                      My first time on here, day 2 sober

                      Hi Persephone,

                      Glad you found us here! I'm making a go of going AL-free (again) and this group is a TREMENDOUS support system. While I haven't read every thread that's ever been posted here, I have never come across one yet where anyone is unkind or unsupportive. FWIW, I tried treatment and AA years ago, and the AA part was not for me. Like others said, recovery from alcoholism is not a "one size fits all" problem. Good luck to you, and welcome!
                      "The Pessimist complains about the wind; the Optimist expects it to change; the Realist adjusts the sails."

                      —William A. Ward

                      Comment

                        #12
                        My first time on here, day 2 sober

                        Welcome.....

                        You are not alone as you can see. I am not an AA fan....but, I am a fan of their way of living. Actually, every self help book I read.....almost outlines the AA way of living....just in different words. For me AA meetings were a trigger.....but, the book relaxed me. It did not make much sense. But I realized at most of the meetings someone 20 years sober was dominating the meeting.....over some small thing...they felt the meeting was 20 people coming together to be their personal therapist.......I always felt like that was an hour of my life I will not get back.....and ran to the beer store many of times after a meeting.

                        Honestly, I do not think us alkies are unique at all. So many choose other vices to soothe them. If this was not true how would we live in country that is so fat or so in debt.

                        So that being said.....I went through a lot of I "should" do this or that.....and it landed me drunk every time. Once my fog cleared and I decided what was best for me......I don't crave a drink.

                        For me......it was yoga (which if you read the yoga path....it is similar to the AA path)....doing things that I had missed out on doing with my family and creating a new FRIDAY night.....and only going to do things that I see a benefit from. I knew from inside what was right for me......but, because I was so lost....I followed others advice....going against what I felt was right for me.......and that sucked big time!

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                          #13
                          My first time on here, day 2 sober

                          first detox

                          Well spent last night in detox for the first time (my choice), it was horrible, but over 24 hours since I had a drink - I was up to 750ml of vodka every 24 hours. This MUST stop! I have a supportive boyfriend, but I still feel so guilty and stupid. I am afraid of withdrawal, fairly shaky right now. Slept bad last night in detox - not a pleasant place. I am so warm too and my face is clammy. I have to do this NOW! I could not work today because I really felt horrible today. So I read somewhere that 72 hours should take care of the w/d? I am so afraid of what the next days will bring I am making myself nuts.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            My first time on here, day 2 sober

                            Welcome Persephone, you have found a great place with tons of support. Some of us are just beginning our journey, some have been successful for years and some are still drinking and asking for help. We are a mixed bag with a common goal: freedom from trying to control something that controls us.

                            Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale - that's what seems to be doing it for me. It's along the lines of Allen Carr's book. There is lots of discussion about the book in General Discussion called "THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE" started by UnWasted.

                            Join us there if you like. All the best. My only advice to you is to keep posting even if you feel you've let yourself down. Don't hide away. Keep coming back. No one here will judge you as we understand truly what you are going through.

                            Take care

                            Tips
                            Tipplerette

                            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

                            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
                            ? Lao-Tzu

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                              #15
                              My first time on here, day 2 sober

                              intelligentalcoholmanagement.com David Gersten. I am finding this website very helpful just now especially good for making you realise this is not all your fault. I dont post often but stay close to Mywayout as a source of comfort and advice. Best wishes to you Persephone.

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