I am worthless

[datadaddy]

I am worthless

using the forum to get over this ?

How do people do it, really feeling in a funk today,
not something I want to talk to friends and family about,
something easier about talking to people here I guess

but what approach to people take ?
just keep posting ? (I hate to be a whiner)
just keep reading ?

almost made a week,
(which just reminds me more of what I did a week ago)

feel like i'm in the movie "Holes"

thanks again, for all who replied to my original post

[Road to Recovery]

I am worthless

Data,
First off, congrats on day 6? You are making great progress. I see you have ordered baclofen, it is a lifesaver for many. For me, it took all the anxiety and cravings away.
It is easier talking to people here - we know what you are going through - non alcoholics have no clue what it feels like - period. Everyone here was a life saver for me in the beginning and I have made many friends.
What approach? - yes keep posting as often as you want and about anything you are feeling - this is very important. Talking things out is better than keeping it inside.
Stick with us, we are here to help you.

P.S - if you need someone to talk to, I will PM you my number - if you think your fiance will benefit from talking to someone that has been in your shoes, I would be willing to do that too. The important thing to remember is that you are not the ony one - this is not your fault - you are not weak - if you are committed, you will beat this. It is truly better on the other side.

[Supercrew]

I am worthless

Hi Data,

When I first started this journey 15 months ago I felt alot like you the first couple of days. I posted daily on a similar forum to get the support I needed. One of the early break throughs I made was when I quit concentrating on the negative of "I can't drink anymore"...because that was a lie...I could if I wanted to. When I started focusing on "I want to be sober" I had a shift in my mind that made sobriety easier. I know it sounds like semantics, but that is how the brain is wired. Before you started drinking regularly did you ever feel like you just had to have a drink? Did you ever obsess about this stupid liquid in a bottle? I am guessing no. You didn't need it then and you don't need it now. It's just your brain playing tricks on you.

I have found that we get what we focus on in life. Quit focusing on the negative of "not drinking", and start focusing on the positive of being sober and how sobriety will bring you happiness. And keep on posting daily, it keeps you accountable.

Have a great sober day!!

[Health&Happiness]

I am worthless

Hi Data (like Ne, also reminds me of Data for Star Trek Next Generation ),
YOU and all of us on here know you aren't worthless. You know deep down you're not. We all know how you feel. I would suggest going to an AA meeting - I put it off forever. I am no expert I've only been to TWO meetings. And I'm not anywhere near looking at going thru the steps, etc. but it helps SOO much listening/seeing others who you can relate too - and can help. It will make you feel so much better and it's like a free counseling session. The first one is hard/uncomfortable/emotional but after the first, it's a piece of cake just keep going to the same meeting - try to find one that's the same time everyday so easy to keep going back. And, of course, try not to drink at all - or at least a lot less! All the best.

[spuddleduck]

I am worthless

datadaddy;1186873 wrote: It doesn't feel fair, I know I need to quit, but am stubborn and feel I can control it,
Then I binge again and hurt someone I love and feel all the guilt in the morning again,
Everytime I want to quit, all I can think of is how empty my life will be,
Everything I do that is fun, seems to have a drink involved,
And it's not just me, it's everyone around me

I despise myself,
I despise the fact that there is not a key to controlling this,
I despise all the wasted time, money, and emotion,
I despise myself for feeling that it's so important, so everything

AF for 3 days only
my first goal is a week, then a month
then I can hopefully evaluate things with a clear mind ?

THIS IS HOW I FEEL.... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME...... DESPISE ME.. I HATE ME FOE BEING HOW I AM ... I AM SURE I AM BETTER.... THIS IS NOT ME.

[spuddleduck]

I am worthless

I FEEL I CAN CANTROL IT.. BUT CAN I... IT APPEARSN........ NOT. ALCOHOL IS CONTROLING ME... WHEN DID THE CHOICE END... PERHAPS TH FIRST DRINK .... MUSIC.

[Nelz]

I am worthless

Hey there, hi there, ho there, yer as welcome as can be in here.

In my opinion you have GREAT goals, if you look at my sig, you name pretty much the same ones I felt compelled to achieve. Im not gonna lie and tell you it was easy, cuz it wasnt.

But, you just keep trying to add up days, one by one(ODAT), and pretty soon a week goes by, two, three, then you can celebrate your 30 days, and so on.

There are many great people, either that have gone through what you are, or ARE going through it right now. Just dont give up, the thing that helped me the most, was to tell myself...........I dont drink..........when the urge hit, and redirect my attention to something else.

I wish you luck in your journey, stay strong, and keep plugging along, you made a wise choice!

[RingingCedars]

I am worthless

spuddleduck;1196529 wrote: I FEEL I CAN CANTROL IT.. BUT CAN I... IT APPEARSN........ NOT. ALCOHOL IS CONTROLING ME... WHEN DID THE CHOICE END... PERHAPS TH FIRST DRINK .... MUSIC.

DOES IT MATTER WHEN?? DID IT HAPPEN?? I LOVE YOU!:l

[RingingCedars]

I am worthless

Nelz;1196532 wrote: Hey there, hi there, ho there, yer as welcome as can be in here.

In my opinion you have GREAT goals, if you look at my sig, you name pretty much the same ones I felt compelled to achieve. Im not gonna lie and tell you it was easy, cuz it wasnt.

But, you just keep trying to add up days, one by one(ODAT), and pretty soon a week goes by, two, three, then you can celebrate your 30 days, and so on.

There are many great people, either that have gone through what you are, or ARE going through it right now. Just dont give up, the thing that helped me the most, was to tell myself...........I dont drink..........when the urge hit, and redirect my attention to something else.

I wish you luck in your journey, stay strong, and keep plugging along, you made a wise choice!

:thanks::goodjob::l:l

[Peacefull]

I am worthless

As like Nursie, I can feel your pain. I have been there and know the awful gut wrenching guilt and anxiety. That alone is not good for your health never mind the alcohol. There is a key, it is you. You are the key to your own happiness. Your thoughts will become your reality if you don't change them, they are so powerful. Let go of the guilt, make your amends and take the steps necessary to be the Daddy you want to be. I don't "know" you, but it's obvious you are a wonderful Daddy, if not you wouldn't be concerned.

Be gentle with yourself and get the books suggested, arm yourself with everything that will help you. I am waiting for Jason Vale's book myself. I am only on Day 11 or 12 but I was sober for 5 years in the past so I do know how wonderful sobriety is.


Peace

[Guitarista]

I am worthless

Get yourself to 30 days, by hook or by crook, anyway you can. It is a magic number. Far away? Yep. Not far away enough to be impossible, but far away enough when we get there to have a clearer mind. Then we can evaluate our direction, and how best to go about it. This has been my experience, and that of many.

Take the leap. Go for it.

[K9Lover]

I am worthless

DD and Spuds,
First of all a big :l for you both.
No, this is NOT easy, if it were, would any of us be here? If you really thought you were worthless, you wouldn't be here (and we are all glad that you are!). You want help, that much is obvious. This isn't just about quitting drinking. Anybody can quit and white-knuckle it for a while. The key to long term success is to first of all be honest with yourself. Secondly you need to begin to learn and grow and understand that this is so much more than just "not drinking"...understand that it's 90% psycological and 10% physical. The physical will pass within the first 3-7 days. Then it's time to work on the brain, change the way you view alcohol...again, not easy. There are so many suggestions on this site that will help you do that.
Please stick close...I've found that every time I slip, I've been neglecting to come here.
Let us know how you're doing.
:h
K9

[mauritiusdodo]

I am worthless

You are NOT worthless, just addicted to a pointless poison, I have felt exactly the same as you for countless mornings and I am determined to change, hope you are coping ok and wishing you strengthx

[cuckoosnest83]

I am worthless

Mauri, I'm with you. I ordered the Jason Vale book and should get it today. I will not drink today. These 5 words will be my mantra.

[universal]

I am worthless

You are not worthless and you CAN control this. You have a disease. It can be managed. Search out support be it in online or face to face meetings - whatever you have to do. It's only one day or even one hour at a time. You are sober when you choose to take the first drink, after that the control is gone. But you CAN not pick up that first drink. Go for a walk, get on the phone. Do whatever you have to do to not pick up that first drink.

And remember - YOU are not worthless - the diesease is evil.