My final straw

[mauritiusdodo]

I have been here many times, I have tried time and again to quit drinking but I know I have finally hit rock bottom now - last night I went to my sister's for a 'wine night' and I have truly surpassed myself, I drank a billion glasses of wine then had to be taken to bed in my sister's spare room where I managed to hallucinate and thought I was locked in a room with no door, pulled a wardrobe down on top of myself and then in desperation not finding a way out decided to have a pee on the floor I didn't let my husband know I was staying over so he was out of his mind with worry all night and he is not speaking to me, I am so disgusted with myself i wish I was dead so that I wouldn't hurt my loved ones anymore :upset:

The only thing I know for sure right now is that I am NEVER drinking even one teeny drop of alcohol again and if I am lucky enough that my husband doesn't divorce me I am going to make it up to him

[mario]

My final straw

Hi Mauritiusdodo Welcome back even though its not in the best way,You have reached your bottom when you decide to stop digging the hole.Dg posted that before and its so true,

You know the drill but hopefully you will learn from past mistakes,Go for the 30 day alchol free time and by then your mind and body will be less stressed and you can make a clear desision in what you want to do,also your not alone in this so have a read here :-)

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f4...tom-41330.html

[Guitarista]

My final straw

Go for it MD.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

[mauritiusdodo]

My final straw

Mario thank you I am going to read through the thread now...

[greeneyes]

My final straw

Ouch! I can tell you that it is such an incredible relief to have quit drinking because I know I will never have that type of experience ever again. It is so worth the effort to replace those feelings of guilt, shame, remorse, etc. with clarity, freedom, and pride. (I think those are guitarista's favorite AF words )

[Unwasted]

My final straw

Mauri, I'd just like to echo what's already been said here. Being free of alcohol is the best think you'll ever do for yourself. You can do it, and we are here to cheer you on! I can hear in your post how hard this is for you, and I think everyone here truly understands because it's our common struggle. But, remember that eventually the struggle lessens and is then replaced with pure happiness to be free of the Constant and never ending torture (Think of those words when you think you "CAN'T" drink anymore). Instead of "missing out" on something you will gain your freedom, feel healthy every single day, never have to worry about being hungover, being embarassed, hurting those you love, spending money on poison, compromising your liver or other organs, getting cancer from alcohol - definitely a link there, and the list goes on.

Think of this recent experience of yours as a "blessing" in disguise that will finally push you into where you need to go!

Best to you - you can do this!:l

[myhappyplace]

My final straw

Hi Mauri, hope you remember me from when we started here at the beginning of the year. You've reached a turning point no doubt. Do this for yourself, not for your husband or your little one. Follow Mario and Mr G's advice, stick to the tool box and make a plan. You can do this. You want it now. We'll be here to give you all the support we can, the rest is your choice. xx hp

[Boots]

My final straw

I too am at the bottom

Hello mauritiusdodo I too had a horrible episode last night. I too have been here many times
and have tried to quit many times, nothing has worked for me. I was at a school meet and greet for parents and trying hard not to drink but everyone was having wine and enjoying themselves so I said one little glass which is never one. My Husband met me there and I said I could drive home, I was fine. Not 100 feet from my driveway, I looked down and the next thing I knew was I drove up the curb, took out a sign. My car has two front flats and is destroyed in the front. My Husband is not speaking to me and some how I have to explain the car to my 6 year old twins and inlaws. I desperartly need help. I'm looking for an AA meeting
in my area. Funny thing was that I was trying all week to quit and had a few sober days.
I go to church in the mornings and pray/beg God to help me. This is the first time I have ever even posted how bad my problem is, I now have to deal with this since it is finally out!:new:

[Boots]

My final straw

I just downloaded the Jason Vale book, I hope it helps me as much as it helped you

[mauritiusdodo]

My final straw

Thanks everyone for the lovely posts it is nice to be back with old friends even if it is for a horrible reason!

Boots :l i feel for you, I am awaiting my paper copy of the Jason Vale book and hoping it will help me too for I know this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done!

I just went out to pick up my daughter and I have bought soda water and tropical juice, I have lots of Earl Grey tea in too which I love so plenty of nice AF drinks for me tonight, I am still feeling very very rough :upset:

My husband has told me I have let him down and I feel so bad :upset:

[Boots]

My final straw

Well it is nice in a way that someone out there is having the same kind of day. I just looked at my car, it it pretty much totaled. That is kind of hard to hide. I have too make two dozen cornbread muffins and two dozen cookies for a dinner at church tonight. And try to stay sober through out. Somehow I dont think that will be a problem. Its tomorrow and the next day I'm worried about. My Husband still has not woken up, so I do not know what I'm in for there.

[DriftyAlison0]

My final straw

I may not know how hitting rock bottom feels, but I am here for you and I am here to help you. Life is so much better af, no hangovers, no stupid stunts due to AL, and best of all, your sober and you don't have to be drunk anymore. I know after while I didn't miss getting drunk or being drunk. It hit me one night while at a friends b-day party, I was hanging out with them, and then it hit me, I don't miss getting drunk or being drunk. I still don't. Being sober isn't always easy, but its a whole lot easier then being drunk all the time.

[WineSucks]

My final straw

Mauri and Boots - Wow....it sounds like both of you had one hell of a night! First, I just want to send a big hug to both of you because i do know how this feels and it's horrible! I have found that warm water with fresh lemon helps to cleanse all of that toxic AL out of the system. along with plenty of water. I hate to say this but what I have found has happened to me in the past is that a few days after an incident, I would somehow think I could have a glass of wine and the whole horrible cycle would start over again and again. Make a plan and keep re-reading your posts to remember how horrible you feel now. Most likely it will deter you from drinking. Also, I found the L-Glutamine has helped me. Others have said alot of good things about the CDs, but I haven't tried them yet.

Most of all, thank you for being brave enough to post....I know alot of people hesitate to post when things have gone wrong but I honestly think the best thing to do is to be real....it helps you to get it off your chest and it helps others more than you know.

Best of luck, keep posting and God bless!

[mauritiusdodo]

My final straw

thanks winesucks I am going to be sure to keep re-reading my posts as I too have a tendency to slip back into my old habits all too quickly!

[Doggygirl]

My final straw

Hi MD and also Boots. I can relate to the pain of the experiences you both had last night. Especially the disappointment and anger in the spouses who are sick of it. Been there done that! I am very grateful that for both of you, nothing more serious happened in terms of drinking and driving.

I like the simplicity of what Greenie said. If we don't drink, we don't have these problems. I am glad those kinds of problems are behind me, and if I can do it, so can you.

Boots, I have found AA to be a wonderful supplement to the support I get here at MWO. I don't know if you will end up feeling that way too, but there is certainly nothing to lose by giving it a whirl. I like having the face to face understanding and support from other people who have the same issue I do.

I found it very important in the early days to avoid events where the booze was flowing. Didn't matter if they were work events, family events, whatever. I had to NOT TO until those situations did not present undue risk for me. I just say that because it seemed to be an issue in what both of you posted.

MD - hallucinations are not a good sign. Are you OK and not drinking today? Seek medical help if you need it.

We CAN get free of AL. It's not easy, but IMO it's sure worth it.

DG