rock bottoms
Sounds like both of you have been through very rough nights.
I hope you will try to have compassion for yourselves, that's the way out.
At the same time, bad behavior like that (even if you have compassion for yourself about it), has an obviously bad effect on your close relationships. So you should try to use this as a way of making change, better life and better relationships, while also not being overly judgmental of yourself. Use this to motivate change. Have compassion about the cause but also realize the effects.
I agree witih DG that it's important to avoid free-flowing booze situations. If you are aiming for abstinence avoid and if aiming to reduce drinking/reduce harm, cut drinking in those situations out.
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