Back...again (at least)

[willowfrond]

Back...again (at least)

Start again

Hi Marisa,

As everyone has said "been there". Eleven days is great. Should you beat yourself up?

My trend was do it, beat myself up, feel bad and therefore drink.....beat myself up, feel bad....

I remember the good times I had with my son but he unfortunately remembers the bad more and I don't see him very much and it is certainly never his idea to see me. Only saying because I hope this never happens to you.

Please start again and again and again......if that is what it takes.

I am not counting the days I find that doesn't help I am about 3 and 1/2 months AF...this time.

[discovermarisa]

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Well I ended up drinking last night (8beers, and 1 shot) just to feel better, (I was feeling awful). Anyway no hangover today and I am starting day 1. It shouldnt be as hard as the last time because I only fell off the wagon for a few days. I actually feel OK today. Yesterday there didn't seem to be any hope in site, and today I'm not so foggy.

Sorry to all for pitying myself so bad, I just HATE the way it makes me feel. Honestly it's such POISON...I really want to be over it. I'm really want to try my best.

Also, my husband and father are bad alcoholics as well and have both gotten themselves into trouble this last weekend, due to alcohol. They are both going to jail most likely, and I'll be alone to pay all bills and take care of my kids. (Which I cann easily do) I'm not worried. In fact it may be easier to stay sober and focus on what's really imporatant...my kids and my health, my good job, the brand new house I just bought, and so on...

I know I can do it by myself I'm just scared...but not as bad as yesterday...thank GOD

[discovermarisa]

Back...again (at least)

P.S. thank you all SO much for the support.

[~EVA~]

Back...again (at least)

Marissa...
Everything you've said I've been there & then some. I have a great husband who has been there for me thru thick & thin (i'm suprised he hasn't left me). Two wonderfuil kids who I have disappointed more times then I can count with empty promises-never mind how many times mommy doesn't feel good ~"mommy either has a headache, stomache ache, cold, allergies etc" .

I have quit 2 jobs in 5 yrs b/c I called out too many times & didn't want to get fired. I'd rather quit then have them catch on that I have a problem.

Yup call ME selfish too. Then when I complain I need to get a job & there is nothing in my field...HELLO...I chose that path. IDIOT. Why not stay sober & keep your job. But i always find an excuse to drink.

I think I could write the book on "Been There Done That". I only thank God that I haven't been arrested or killed anyone.

I feel for you. I (more than often) feel like such a loser. But I can only keep my head up high & know that other people share the same pain of this disease & I'm not alone.

Big hugs & know it can be beat. I'm still tying (again for the hundreth time) and know deep in my heart that I can do it again ~ and so can you.

[bluespaces]

Back...again (at least)

support in heart...

:welcome: sending you peace & support.
I find this site rather complicated & so I don't come here much...I get all sorts of ads when I try to hit "Home"...I can't even find my own profilenow...just the store to buy supplements.
But please know u r not alone..OK?
Last night i posted but can't find it now...i wish they'd simplify this site so -illits like me could figure it out.
But just know I care.
I can quit for 30 days!...but then go back?
Sending you prayers...i may not be back though as no matter what i hit i can't find my profile pic, etc.
i'm a college grad & belong to other sites...don't get why this one for Alcoholics is so complicated, LOL???
Oh well...it is what it is.
Many prayers & HUGS on ur journey. i know it's hard.
xxx

[spacebebe01]

Back...again (at least)

Marisa I do so hope you stay with this, you can do it, try to relax and not worry so much about everything else (I know easier said than done) but I found some time spent just slobbing about in my pj's with my son watching tv and playing games was great for me and for him, leave the house, take some time away from work if you can, eat well and drink lots of water and juice and you can start to feel so much better. Can you get out for a walk, some fresh air and excercise will help as well. This is totally doable, you are not giving up anything but misery and can start a whole new great life, it will have its ups and downs of course but it will be so worth it. If I can help at all please pm me.