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Tonights results!!!!!!

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    Tonights results!!!!!!

    Hello everyone. Well I'm home after my party with my ex drinking buddies , and for those of you who knew I was afraid of wanting a drink you'll be happy to know that I didn't drink here is what happened instead!!
    Before the party I was feeling sh**ty because I hadn't hung out with these people since I quit drinking and I didn't want to have peer pressure. But also I was afraid I wouldnt know how to react or socialize with them all. Turns out i was grand , I actually had some fun!!! I had a red bull and chatted away without the desire to drink alcohol.
    After the party ( 2 hour boat ride ) I was proud of myself and went along with everyone to a restaurant/bar where we ate and everyone drank except me. By now a lot of people are drunk. Some are funny ! Most annoying the ffffffffffff out of me!!
    Finally at midnight most people are heading home so I finally get my drunk husband to leave. His brother is also drunk so he obviously cant drive and will stay the night at our apartment. In the past whenever myself, hubby, and his bro went out we would finish up with drinks at my apt. tonight however on the drive home I told them they could not drink at home! It's a one bedroom apt and I didn't want them loud and noisy while I tried to sleep, plus I frankly felt like it was disrespectful of my hubby to want to continue drinking at home when I'm no longer drinking.
    He doesn't want me to drink and is happy I am sober, but he doesn't give me any credit for staying sober and continues to drink a lot around me whenever we go to party's .
    He says things like. " look a Sally she's not drinking ," like it's soooooo f**king easy to quit!!! It's hard to go to a party where every one is drinking and ur not!!!! It pisses u off and makes u feel bad about yourself in the 1st place for getting yourself in the situation!!!!
    I didn't want my hubby to continue drinking and told him he had to come home , but we had a fight and he said he was going to have a drink with his bro!!! And now he is at some bar and I'm fed up at home!!! I just wish he knew how I'm really trying to do this so we can have a better life. He was already drunk and In my opinion should have come home , his bro also.
    Was I wrong to try to force this?? Should I have been cool with him continuing to drink , though he was already drunk?? I don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now! I'm really glad I didn't drink tonight , but when hubby is behaving like this , it makes me wonder why am I even bothering?
    I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

    Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


    AF since 2/20/12

    Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

    Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

    Goal no.3 - 30 days.

    Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

    #2
    Tonights results!!!!!!

    Thanks mollyka, I know hubs will feel bad tomorrow!! And you know I was so so so much worse when I was drinking !! Hurt him and made a holy show of him manys a time!!!!
    But still, it's annoying as it's already hard enough to stay sober!!!
    I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

    Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


    AF since 2/20/12

    Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

    Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

    Goal no.3 - 30 days.

    Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

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      #3
      Tonights results!!!!!!

      Saoirse - :goodjob::goodjob::goodjob: on not drinking at the party! Be very proud

      We all know what it's like when we are in the mood for a session and your husband was already drunk before you are trying to reason with him. I'm not saying it's ok but I know how hard I would have been to reason with me in party mode.

      The Good news is you are going to wake up clear headed with a sense of achievement and he is going to feel like shit. He will also probably see how unsupportive he was. I would let him apologies but see little point in giving him a real bad time. It's great to get support but this addiction is ours and we are the only ones who can deal with it. We can't rely on someone else always being there for us as it's a dangerous game when they're not and easy for the "fuck it" mentality to kick in.

      Focus on your success Saoirse, coping with a party sober is a great feat and makes you stronger for future events. It's all about us relearning how to behave in social environments. You did great!!! :yay:
      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
      AF - JAN 1st 2010
      NF - May 1996

      Comment


        #4
        Tonights results!!!!!!

        Congrats on staying sober for the night, thats awesome. I dont really have any advice as to how to handle of cope with hubs and him still drinking....but I can give you the highly coveted.......

        Way to go, be very proud of what you did Attached files [img]/converted_files/1709991=6929-attachment.jpg[/img]
        Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




        DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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          #5
          Tonights results!!!!!!

          hi Saoirse and well done staying sober at the party.
          It's only when we sober up and be around drunk people that we can see alcohol for what it really is , the nasty way it changes good people to fools of the highest order and i am talking about "normal" drinkers not like the type of drinking i was doing.
          I pretty much am on my own with my disease it empowers me a little bit, I HAVE to do it by myself, for myself.
          As Molly said i do it for myself no one can make me drink but me.
          Not really much point giving your husband a hard time , i know the few times my wife gets drunk ( not that often) i cant give out as i have done far worse more times than i can count and if your in the same situation it will just be fired back into your face.
          Normal drinkers ( or so called normal drinker ) will never get it no matter how much they try , it took me a long enough time to " get it " myself.
          I hope you can look at the actions of your husband and how he behaved and pull it out of the bag some time if you ever need to be reminded as to why you dont drink or want to drink .
          AF 5/jan/2011

          Comment


            #6
            Tonights results!!!!!!

            Saoirse, GREAT JOB ON LAST NIGHT!! This will be a powerful experience for you to rely on in navigating future experiences. Each success helps your brain create new pathways for sober experiences.

            Good words by others about your drinking mate. And molly your insight is wonderful about doing it for yourself.
            sigpic
            Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

            Comment


              #7
              Tonights results!!!!!!

              Congratulations on your sober night!!!

              You know the saying, you can't reason with a drunk. Having a chat tomorrow with your husband minus his brother might be more productive. He sounds like he is proud of you for not drinking.

              Comment


                #8
                Tonights results!!!!!!

                Congrats on staying sober! I have attended parties and stayed sober. It is a real good feeling waking up sober and hangover free and to think on how everyone else is waking up all hungover.
                I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Tonights results!!!!!!

                  Thanks all for the support.
                  I'm grand now again this morning. Hubby is hungover and sorry , and I know that feeling all to well and I kinda feel sorry for him! I am starting to realize molly's wise words are true. " I have to do this for myself."
                  It's true that a normal drinker can never understand an alkie mindset. My husband sees that I made the decision to quit and so I quit, he doesn't realize all the effort it takes. But hey, he's my best friend and as supportive as he can be . Thanks all for the support , I had fun last night ! However like Madman said drink changes everyone , and for the worse IMO .
                  Have a great AF Sunday all!!!
                  I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

                  Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


                  AF since 2/20/12

                  Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

                  Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

                  Goal no.3 - 30 days.

                  Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Tonights results!!!!!!

                    Congratulations!!!!!

                    Hi Saorise,

                    :goodjob: As everyone has said. Awesome absolutely awesome!

                    On a positive note about your husband...he didn't insist on coming home and continuing to drink. Thank him for that.

                    It would be wonderful if your husband decided to join you on your journey and also quit drinking, maybe he will, maybe he wont.

                    All the best and again well done your are so strong!
                    " I'm not trying to counsel any of you to do anything really special, except to dare to think and to dare to go with the truth and to dare to love completely." -R. Buckminster Fuller

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Tonights results!!!!!!

                      Thanks !
                      I think I'm more stubborn than strong but I didn't drink so who cares!!!!!!
                      I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

                      Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


                      AF since 2/20/12

                      Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

                      Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

                      Goal no.3 - 30 days.

                      Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Tonights results!!!!!!

                        Bye

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