Hey:)

[misskris76]

Hey

Right now its cuz I got myself to that horrible waking up completely panicky feeling awful stage but mostly to numb myself n get thru life, o I cannot BELIEVE I let it get so bad again, so mad at myself! You may have a problem, but dang, u dunno what I mean if U haven't had that panicky, jumping outta your skin, I wanna hang myself from the banister with my bathrobe belt, ya, it is like that right now, n s***, dang, n f***! I do NOT wanna have to go AWAY, AGAIN, call the doc, I just want it to stop as I sit here a disheveled mess, sipping merlot I was SO OVERJOYED to find that I had hid in my son's stuffed toy bin, AWFUL!

[misskris76]

Hey

So awful...but I bathed, ran the dishwasher, febreezed the furniture, got laundry in order, and took out the trash, so PRAYING I am on the upswing of this week long isolated liver and soul destroying pity party bender I've been on and can just sip this (Godsend of a find) wine slowly and tomorrow bathe AND dress and maybe even blow dry my hair and put on lotion, ugh.

[misskris76]

Hey

That soul destroying feeling not even a good buzzed up drunk can fix- DEPLETION!

[Wally22]

Hey

good morning Misskriss
so glad to hear you are working at getting your house in order.
in between sips of merlot can you get a few glasses of water and maybe some food in you
it will help you feel better tomorrow.

hope the rest of your day goes better :l

[Unwasted]

Hey

Kris, just wanted to give you this link in case you want to check out information on any medications:

Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums

:l:l:l

[misskris76]

Hey

Ya thanks guys, Last wine standing

[misskris76]

Hey

Will I be able to withdrawal at home?

[Unwasted]

Hey

Kris, I've not done any meds, so I don't know. Click on the link I posted down a couple of posts, and ask for help there. :l

[Supercrew]

Hey

misskris76;1237152 wrote: Will I be able to withdrawal at home?

The last time I did I ended up in the ER, but I was basically coming off a 20 day bender. Every time previous to that I have been able to handle my business at home. And believe it or not I was where you are at...except I tried to shower a couple of times a day and clean myself up because I was still trying to hide my problem from my SO and family...but they knew. But if you don't change nothing will and you will be stuck in that depressing spiral for even longer. There are no reasons to drink, only excuses.

[Pride before Fall]

Hey

Hi MK,

Just looking at the adjectives you use (believe me, they could’ve been pulled from my own book and a lot of other people’s here), it doesn't seem like drinking to numb yourself is working.

freakin drunk
soul destroying
panicky
DEPLETION
pity party
AWFUL
disheveled
so bad
horrible
hang myself
AGAIN
isolated
rat
mad at myself
son in custody
hospitalized
sucking my SOUL
stink
desperate
gross
stupid
DIED
reek
God save me

At the risk of sounding too ‘tough love,’ you might as well let the tidal wave of shame and consequences hit you and get it over with. I’m not being facetious; I’m actually tearing up, remembering. It was HUGELY uncomfortable being in my own skin, and that lasted quite a while; but I promise you, it was nothing compared to living every day with self-loathing as you are now.

I found the following last New Year’s eve, my first ever sober in 30 years, and pulled it out again this year, my 2nd consecutive sober (thanks MWO, particularly you determined, intrepid Fabbie Abbies!). It reminds me what alcohol promises avoiders like me, and what it actually delivers.

My sincerest wishes that you take your life and your family back, MK. Dump the remaining ethanol you hid down the toilet and brush your teeth. If you need a doctor to manage withdrawal, call now. Having been in treatment, you will have numbers for follow-up support.

I wish MWO had a fight song. ; )

~Pride
______________

I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank to be outgoing and became self-centered.
I drank to be sociable and became isolated.
I drank for friendship and made enemies.
I drank to ease sorrow and wallowed in self-pity.
I drank for sleep and woke without rest.
I drank for strength and became weak.
I drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
I drank for confidence and felt unsure.
I drank for courage and became afraid.
I drank for assurance and became doubtful.
I drank for conversation and tied my tongue.
I drank to forget and became haunted.
I drank for freedom and became a slave.
I drank to ease problems and my problems multiplied.
I drank to cope and failed everyone and everything.
I drank because I had the right to, and everything went wrong.

[Unwasted]

Hey

Great Posts Pride and SC.

[misskris76]

Hey

Thanks Supercrew! I'm gonna try n make the absolute best of it n not end up in another imstitution r dead!

[misskris76]

Hey

Pride, thanks for pointing it all out and thanks even for posting! It is the prob I have w ex smokers all the same- dude! Unless I am smoking around your kid, don't cough! Ot is allowed here! But ty, I am WELL aware I am suffering.

[misskris76]

Hey

Thank you for taking the time to make it OBVIOUS! Ya gonna come sit w me while I detox!? Sorry, glad to know you r doing well, but misery likes company, even if it still has a sense of humor, n S***, am I miserable! Immediate advice would be most welcomed, spank n lecture me later don't want to go to detox for many reasons so advice please!

[madmans]

Hey

Immediate advice

wine down the toilet ,
Hi Kris that's what you need to do right now , then get some food in you , it will all taste like shite so pick what you think, hot bath if you can and plenty of fluids, Gator aid i found good in the States when i lived there.
I'll be off and on here tonight if you still want that spanking