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    #1

    Not feeling very strong!

    I'm back to try again. Only this time I don't feel so strong. I was very hungover today though I told myself I would not drink this weekend . But somehow when my husband came home and asked if I would like to go out I was like a puppet on a string!

    I binge drink so I have no fear of drinking this week it's the weekend that scares me!
    I was AF for 10 weeks and got cocky started drinking again and now I don't feel like I can do that again. I felt so at peace and strong for those 10 weeks .

    How do I find the courage to ignore the cravings at the weekend? especially when my mind keeps telling me that I'm fine and that I'm only 30 I have time to quit. Though I know that's bull!! But the al demon is strong!

    What's the best way to get through the temptations??????

    I am tired of feeling so bad about myself after I drink . Of wanting to not wake up because I hate myself for drinking even after I said I wouldn't drink....

    Sorry it's a long post ....... I'm just searching for inspiration...
    I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

    Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


    AF since 2/20/12

    Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

    Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

    Goal no.3 - 30 days.

    Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .
    Tags: None
    #2
    Not feeling very strong!

    Okay so during the week is okay and weekends are the problem. This week work on coping mechanisms to get through the weekend. Does your husband know you want to be AF?
    You've done it once, so you know you can do it. But it's hard. You need to have lots of weapons in your arsenal. What helped the last time? Will it work again or do you need new mechanisms. Who is helping you? Do you have a buddy to keep you strong?
    Are you using any of the medications that are talked about here?
    Have you spoken to your doctor?
    Lots of questions, sorry, but you need to think about these.
    Right now drink lots of water, get lots of sleep and take care of yourself. You are stronger when you are well rested and refreshed.
    :l
    Wally22:confusedmonkey::confusedmonkey::confusedmo nkey:
    If I don't want to brag but I can still wear the earings I wore in highschool
    November 2, 2012

    Comment

      #3
      Not feeling very strong!

      Yes Wally my husband now knows that I want to be AF. I found this site helped last time!
      I was reading "dry" by Augusten burrows this week and I was gung-ho on not drinking but as soon as I had an offer to go out. I didn't even think twice.

      How can we be so weak at times? I will post daily I think that will help....

      Thanks for the support , it helps a lot !
      I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

      Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


      AF since 2/20/12

      Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

      Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

      Goal no.3 - 30 days.

      Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

      Comment

        #4
        Not feeling very strong!

        Saoirse, firstly well done on your ten weeks, ok you blew it but at least you can make the comparison to how you feel when you drink again to how you felt last week. You have also proven to yourself that you can keep AF during the weekends.
        I do understand the whole weekend thinking but really it's just another two days. It doesn't have to be any different. I think posting daily is a great idea, it helps a lot with accountability but the key as I see it is to post and speak about it when the going gets tough not after we drank. As you know the support is amazing here but in the past I have been guilty of saying f**k it and drinking instead of coming here. It's taken me a while to realise that was because I didn't want to be talked out of it if I am being honest.
        Remember how you felt this morning and hang on to that as another tool in your toolbox. I think it's great that you have seen the light so young, I think you will find many of us here that wish we had of taken action years ago. It is very true that this is progressive, as we get older the damage it does to our bodies starts to take its toll. In addition it gets harder to make the break every time we give in and have to start over.
        You can do this and it is a decision I never hear anyone regretting.
        Keep safe
        KTAB
        Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

        Comment

          #5
          Not feeling very strong!

          Ktab I am going to think of the weekend as 2 more days like you said! That helps a lot to view it in that way! Thanks !!
          I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

          Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


          AF since 2/20/12

          Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

          Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

          Goal no.3 - 30 days.

          Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

          Comment

            #6
            Not feeling very strong!

            Great Saoirse.
            I think the whole weekend thing can be partially habit and partially 'oh I worked hard all week I deserve a drink'
            Well it took me a while but you know what, I do deserve a treat, I deserve not to pour a substance down my throat that will make me behave in a way I feel shameful about because I can't remember what I did last night, what I said, who even I was talking too. I deserve not to wake up on Sunday morning feeling full of regrets and self disgust at my behaviour, I deserve not to feel like crap and be devoid of the energy and the will to do anything more than veg out on the sofa all day. I deserve not to worry what those pains and aches are and wonder what damage I am doing to my body.
            Today I don't have to worry about that, another sober weekend has been clocked up and for that I am grateful, very grateful. Please come and join us next weekend.
            Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

            Comment

              #7
              Not feeling very strong!

              Saoirse - it also helps to plan ahead and make sure you don't have too much time on your hands. Maybe next weekend arrange to see a movie or visit a friend who doesn't drink, take an exercise class, anything to distract you. I used to find Friday nights the hardest and it was just getting through these couple of key trigger hours then i would be fine. I used to come here a lot during my "witching hours". When I woke up on a Saturday morning without a hangover i felt on top on the world and actually being able to do something constructive on my weekend was a huge incentive to keep going. Wishing you much strength.
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment

                #8
                Not feeling very strong!

                Hi, Saoirse.
                I can't add anything that hasn't been said--especially by KTAB, who really captured it all. I just want to add my support for you. Keep posting and you'll get through!!

                :lTDN
                "One day at a time."

                Comment

                  #9
                  Not feeling very strong!

                  Thank you all for the support !
                  I am the master of my fate . I am the captain of my soul.

                  Had 10 weeks AF from 9-11-11 to 11-24-11


                  AF since 2/20/12

                  Goal no.1 - 1 week DONE !

                  Goal no.2 - 2 weeks.

                  Goal no.3 - 30 days.

                  Gaol no.4 - 10 weeks .

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Not feeling very strong!

                    Hi Saoirse, just wanted to add my support. The weekend is definitely a mental thing, as KTab said, it's just another two days. Overcoming the first weekend was a huge thing for me.

                    When I got tempted I focussed on how truly awful and ill I felt after my last binge. The shaking, the sweating, the nausea, the horrible crawling inside my head and body. And I made myself remember it and my commitment never to feel like that again.

                    Posting here helped too, you can always be sure of the 'been there done that' factor on MWO, and it's somehow reassuring to know that you are not alone in your struggle. Wishing you well. :l
                    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                    Comment

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