In a bad place :-(

[cymru]

Hi all. Been a while since I was last here, but am in a really bad place right now. My drinking has again spiralled out of control. It is worse than ever. I have lost yet another job, I'm not eating, am shaking more than ever and am drinking at least a bt of vodka a day. Have lost a whole week this week drinking morn, noon and night.
I'm close to giving up to be honest.

[mama bear]

In a bad place :-(

Come ON Cy...we are here .you know the routine and you must still care if you are reaching out to us
dumpt the vodka love and try to remember what you are thankful for after you rest
can you get into a rehab center or hospital???

[jessie]

In a bad place :-(

Hi Cymru, I and many others here have been in exactly the same spot as you are now. And many here have kept on trying and have succeeded, are succeeding or are drinking much less. There is hope - there really is. Whatever you do , don't stop trying to quit because some day you will succeed. I hope it's soon.

[Guitarista]

In a bad place :-(

Hi Cy,

I know the feeling of considering just giving up on life very well. It has appeared to be an attractive option to me in the past, and only recently. But i realise now with a clearer head, this is the booze talking, not me. Giving up is not my truth. Giving up is not my true path, or the real me. My giving up thoughts were my minds thinking when i had alcohol in my system. It has also been my thinking at times when i thought alcohol was out of my system, but booze was still there in my thinking, as i felt deprived rather than happy and free. This misery is not for you Cy. It is a lie an illusion and a trap. It is not you brother.

You sound like you are at rock bottom there, and it sounds like you need support to get off the grog and take your life back. Can you get to a rehab? Can you talk with a doctor and take some action?

You are a good man, and a good dad. Get back to the true you.

[Chillgirl]

In a bad place :-(

Cy - You are a gorgeous talented guy with so much going for you, you have a wonderful daughter who absolutely adores you and to whom you are a fantastic Dad. You have done it before and you can do it again. Start with small steps and keep checking in. Can you stop drinking today and set yourself a goal of staying AF tomorrow.

[Unwasted]

In a bad place :-(

Cy, I don't know you but just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. I hate alcohol and what it does to us. For the last year and a half I've battled trying to quit (drank for decades), and am coming up on 90 days AF. I would never have believed I could do this. I hope you can get some AF time put together so you have some clarity with which to view your life. It doesn't have to be like this. :lilheart:

[Doggygirl]

In a bad place :-(

Hi Cy and WELCOME BACK!! Like the others have already said, this darkness you feel now is the booze talking. Most of us (maybe even all of us) here have had to go at this sobriety thing multiple times before we finally figured out our way out. Don't be afraid to try again. The miracle is there.

DG

[cymru]

In a bad place :-(

Thank you everyone. I'm drinking tnt, but am trying to eat. I'm going to go back to AA and get a sponsor and give it 100%, cause otherwise I'll be dead by the end of the yr. My liver is destroyed. Seeing doc on wed and hopefully he can help me as he is a recovered alcoholic!

[one2many]

In a bad place :-(

You have been here before and you pulled yourself out of it, the problem is that every time it gets harder and the more you lose. I truly do believe you will die if you don't stop drinking, I think that is a foregone conclusion, it is your choice but whats different for you is that you have a reason to get better, a reason to want to live and a reason why life is worth living. She is 12 years old and thinks the sun shines out of her Daddy's arse. Don't let her see you kill yourself with booze. She deserves more, YOU deserve more.
There is a life for you if you want it, use us, use MWO, post like before, read, work it, you know the drill Cy.

Be honest with the doc, tell him about the depression and the height of the drinking and be honest.

We are here for you and you can do this.

[K9Lover]

In a bad place :-(

Cy - :l
Sending you strength...you know you CAN do this!
K9

[cymru]

In a bad place :-(

Thank you everyone. It truely means alot to me. Feeling very lonely at the moment.

[sunshine_gg]

In a bad place :-(

Sending vibes of strength and sanity your way Cy :l

[Dave_]

In a bad place :-(

Cy,

I can feel your despair. My heart breaks for the position you find your self in. I have been there. There is a way out. This is the end game and a decision needs to be made.

I am not hear to sugar coat the reality. You know as well as I do that the 24 hour cycle reduces your life to snippets of minutes here, minutes there and bad decisions everywhere.

If you don't stop you will die. This year, next year or the year after, at some stage you will cease to exist and your family, especially your daughter, will be left with a wound on her heart that will never be healed. You will scar your child for life and remove one of the most important people a little girl can have.

Look around and understand that by drinking your self stupid it is an almighty slap in the face to your daughter. she needs and deserves her father.

You can do this, you have the strength and ability to end this nightmare one day at a time.

Fight for your right to exist.

[SKendall]

In a bad place :-(

Cy, you have been missed. I agree with all the other postings. Can u get help thru your detox and then make a plan.

My plan includes everything from waking, making coffee, bathing, dog walking, etc. It helps to structure your life, instead of freefalling and hoping for the best.

Take care, and i u get into horrible withdrawls seek
medical assistance - please.

Your daughter is worth it.

[cyclefan]

In a bad place :-(

Don't give away your power. Make a decision in your favor.