I'm BACK :(

[blinder]

I thought that I was doing really well HOWEVER the past few weekends have led me to believe otherwise. I thought that I could mod and that has proven to be unsuccessful. I have realised today that I have made AL such a big facet of my life that I couldn't have imagined living or going out without it.

I haven't posted here for just over 1 year and I have fallen off the wagon in a big way. Today I feel sad and a little lost, I have realised that I have NO control over AL at all. I will never be like those other people who can go out and have a few drinks and call it a night. I will always be the last person to leave and I can never have that 1 drink.

I don't drink every day, but when I am out socially I can never stop at one. At home I am fine, I can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and that be it. But take me to the pub and thats another story. I guess I have used AL as a bit of buddy when I am out.

So I guess you will be seeing me here more frequently!
Thanks

[greeneyes]

I'm BACK

Welcome back, blinder!

Good on you for recognizing the madness and wanting to stop it!

Boy, does this sound familiar.....

blinder;1260683 wrote: I have realised that I have NO control over AL at all. I will never be like those other people who can go out and have a few drinks and call it a night. I will always be the last person to leave and I can never have that 1 drink.

This realization in itself is very freeing. It takes the angst out of "can I - can't I". The whole thought process is just off the table and you can go on with a bigger better life.

Best to you!

[blinder]

I'm BACK

Thanks greeneyes! The support here is always nice.
Thank you

[cymru]

I'm BACK

I have recently come back after about a yr in a terrible place. Ive just finished my first day sober in over a week of constant drinking, so I guess were starting over together!

[caper564]

I'm BACK

hi blinder, welcome... i am a daily and a non stop drinker. it used to be only at the pub with friends but that spilled over to drinking at home then hiding and sneaking AL etc. it became unbearable. Its good to hear that you are quitting this demon before you follow down the path of sitting home alone throwing back a couple of bottles of wine ever night.

stick with it.
caper

[blinder]

I'm BACK

Thanks for the messages, its nice to have people supporting me who understand what it is like. I am day 2 today and I still feel emabarrased about my actions, but I keep saying to myself today that IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN because I don't drink and that I something to be really happy about. I can't change the past, I can only change my future.

Thank you again and have a great day.

[mumofsix]

I'm BACK

Yeah I'm back too!

and I too have NO control either - havent posted for ages. I'm just suffering because of booze - I came over to the States from New Zealand and ran the NEW YORK marathon in November. Now I've put on 6 kilos and lost ALOT of my fitness and total self esteem thanks to wine.

[blinder]

I'm BACK

Thanks for all of the messages, it really appreciate the support the past 2 days. I just wanted to say that it is the end of day 2 and it has been successful. I even faced up to some of the mess from my druken evening on Saturday, so it is a relief to have addressed that and now and I put it behind me and focus on what needs to be done to keep my AL free journey successful.

Hope you are all having a good day!

[greeneyes]

I'm BACK

blinder;1261481 wrote: I even faced up to some of the mess from my druken evening on Saturday, so it is a relief to have addressed that and now and I put it behind me and focus on what needs to be done to keep my AL free journey successful.

:goodjob: It IS behind you, in the past where it belongs. Onward and upward, blinder!