drinking again

[kapone]

drinking again

Hiya Inchains - I have been where you're at more times than I care to remember and if I pick up a drink today, I will without a doubt be back there AND worse. It's simple but certainly not easy to not drink. But today it's about the only thing I CAN"T do - and I choose not to. It takes a while for things to get back on track properly, but like they say, "walk seven kms into the bush, gotta walk 7kms to get back out". But it DOES GET BETTER. I was a constant drunk, drinking and at some stage of drunken-ness or sober, I had no in between, or days sober here or there, just DRUNK. I've been to jail, lost my kids, been beaten to within an inch of my life and EVERY time, as soon as I was conscious, I had another drink or had to get my head together enough to go find one. JAILS, Institutions and DEATH is where alcoholism will eventually take every alkie. The sad truth - the 'ism' (I, self, me) I had to deal with is getting out of my own head and woes and helping others. YOU CAN DO IT. Hang in there - if I can do it, anybody can...I mean, the newspaper of the city I lived in gave me the headline, "Cobden's chronic alcoholic jailed" a couple of years ago...and it was the truth. But today I am a wee bit over one year sober, and it's a F*&*&ing miracle!!! Bless you.

[azurmyst]

drinking again

I must have missed the part in the book about the 30 day challenge. What medications do you take IC? Are you on the supplement program? I am new here myself and have been searching for the best protocol to use. I wish you only success.

[InChains]

drinking again

UPDATE:

so I am still drinking. I tried quitting again yesterday and well... success is not exactly something i'm familiar with right now. I had about 2.5 units AL, to take the edge off, end result I sitll got day one depression about 2pm today and was... floored by it if i'm honest. The onyl thign I could think of was that it was like a part of my mind just died, didn't work anymore, complete shut down. I have tried getting help, i walked past the counsellors office on campus maybe a dozen or more times today - it was busy, or there were other people around or I was just too damn scared. I need help, I want tog et well, get sober, be able to live a life without constant fear of well... sobriety I guess. Or beign found out. I feel so much guilt and confusion at how I'm behaving lately but can't seem to stop.

[K9Lover]

drinking again

Oh Inchy :l
I feel for you, I really do. I was on the Merry-Go-Round-From-Hell for years. I wanted to stop but I just couldn't! Or could I? I gave it a try for one day, just to see. One day led to a week. A week led to a month. That sounds oversimplified, I know...but it can happen. When you decide deep down in your heart that you DO NOT want to live like this anymore, you will move hell and high water to change it. You know what scares me more than life without alcohol? No life at all...as in dead before 40 with a teenage daughter living without a mother. Now that scares the shit out of me. And you know what else? Life without alcohol has turned out to be pretty damn fun, even more so when you aren't in a fog and you remember the fun you had. Nobody said this was easy, IT'S NOT....but it's so worth it. I know you want it, I can tell from your post. Decide that you are stronger than alcohol. Don't let it rob you of anymore of your money, time or self-esteem. YOU are better than this. Come on girlfriend, give it a try for a day or two and see how you feel. I am thinking of you and sending you strength.
:h
K9

[LibraryGirl]

drinking again

Hi Inchy. I know that when I was drinking heavily (15 days ago, lol), I often wondered when my boss was going to pull me aside and say, "Have you got a substance abuse problem??" I really felt it was eminent, as I knew the signs were all there. Often calling in sick, dragging through the day (literally falling asleep sometimes at my desk), swollen face, blood-shot eyes. Hell everyone probably knew.

What I finally decided was that I was done. Done with the hangovers, done with blackouts, done with every negative thing alcohol had done to my life. I woke up with a splitting headache, unable to get up and make it to work (AGAIN), and when I was finally able to get on the computer that afternoon, I googled, "help with quitting alcohol". It led me here, where I admitted to others and myself for the very first time, I had a problem and I needed to quit. That was 15 days ago, actually 16 (it's after 12 am), and my goal is to stay AF. MWO is the best thing that could have happened to me. I could not have done this on my own, and I'm glad you are still coming here too.

Let's beat this thing! Talk to a counsellor. Talk about why you feel compelled to drink. If you can look your problems in the eye, and come up with a plan to understand yourself and your compulsions, maybe that will be the step you need to control them. I believe anyone who makes it to this site has a real FIGHTING chance against the BEAST, AL.

Don't ever give up. It's NEVER too late to quit.:l

[Lkea666]

drinking again

It was hard for me to imagine not drinking.

Life is hard and painful and alcohol helps me hide from it. It dulls my emotions so I don't have to feel.

My counselor keeps telling me that the energy I put into hiding from my issues is more work than just dealing with them. But I am still afraid to face them. I'm afraid to live without my crutch.

I started Modding 11 days ago. I told myself I could have 2 drinks a day max. I've had 2 drinks total in that time.

Things that made this time different: 1. This website. 2. The alternative treatment of hypnotherapy and holistic supplements.

I might go AF one day. But knowing that I could start the MWO program and still drink helped me feel less panicky.

I encourage you to start the program. See what happens.

Step into your counselor's office. They won't take alcohol away. They will help equip you to be able to deal with it.

If I can do it, anyone can.

Good luck!