I cheated while drunk :(

[FlyAway]

I cheated while drunk

GreenKoala;1294507 wrote: Something similar just happened to me this past weekend. I went out with a group of friends and I got really drunk. I slept with one of the guys. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for five years now. I love him and I could never imagine my life without him. When I was drunk, I was still conscious. I knew I was having sex but I didn't know why I didn't stop it. I should have stopped it. I didn't know why it happened. I regretted so much. Right now I felt exactly the same way as GW you felt. I felt like I am a terrible person and I hate myself. How could I hurt my love one like that. I regretted so much and I have been crying for three days. I went to counseling but the counselor didn't really help. I am really glad that I found this thread. I don't think I am going to tell my boyfriend about what happened because I don't think he will understand and forgive me. I know I was VERY VERY wrong and I wish I could reverse time. I would never do this again. I tried to tell myself that nothing happened and it was just a really bad dream, but in my mind I knew it wasn't true. And I still have to see this friend that I slept with everyday because we work together. How can I forget and forgive myself?:'(

I am so sorry for what you're going through. This is what alcohol can do. I hope you've made up your mind to stop drinking. Alcohol is a mind-altering drug. You can't trust it. Can you try to find another counselor? I think you could benefit from talking to a professional about forgiving yourself.

[cpn1004]

I cheated while drunk

For me every time I screwed up and did things I would later regret, alcohol was ALWAYS involved.
Now I don't have those issues.

[GreenKoala]

I cheated while drunk

GreenKoala;1294507 wrote: Something similar just happened to me this past weekend. I went out with a group of friends and I got really drunk. I slept with one of the guys. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for five years now. I love him and I could never imagine my life without him. When I was drunk, I was still conscious. I knew I was having sex but I didn't know why I didn't stop it. I should have stopped it. I didn't know why it happened. I regretted so much. Right now I felt exactly the same way as GW you felt. I felt like I am a terrible person and I hate myself. How could I hurt my love one like that. I regretted so much and I have been crying for three days. I went to counseling but the counselor didn't really help. I am really glad that I found this thread. I don't think I am going to tell my boyfriend about what happened because I don't think he will understand and forgive me. I know I was VERY VERY wrong and I wish I could reverse time. I would never do this again. I tried to tell myself that nothing happened and it was just a really bad dream, but in my mind I knew it wasn't true. And I still have to see this friend that I slept with everyday because we work together. How can I forget and forgive myself?:'(

I thought about it for a few days. I know I have to quit alcohol or otherwise I am just going to repeat the mistake. It's so dangerous. Now I keep telling myself that when I was drunk i wasn't the person who I am. I know it sounds like an excuse but it's the only way that I can make myself feel less guilty. I had never slept with anyone other than my boyfriend before this incident. I still cannot believe that I cheated. No more AL...

[K9Lover]

I cheated while drunk

Hi GreenKoala,
I wouldn't say anything, I would try to get past this and be sure it NEVER happens again. I know that for me, EVERYTHING I've truly regretted has revolved around alcohol. I know some people believe that we use alcohol as an excuse, but I have done things drunk that I SERIOUSLY would not do sober...period. I don't believe "the truth" comes out when we're drunk or any of those other cliches...I think it truly does ALTER our real personalities and turn us into someone completely different. I hope you can get past this and forgive yourself, in time you will be able to. Just remember this next time you feel like you want to drink and having a few wouldn't be "that bad". Let us know how you're doing!
K9

[Hopeful mom]

I cheated while drunk

I truely believe that alcohol turns us into people that we are not. I turn into this mean evil person who would argue with a wall. I've lost so much due to al, not knowing what I was doing.. I really don't think sharing the information will help anything. People who are not like us don't understand that we become someone else, who in my opinion tries to ruin our lives! Don't let that person win and ruin your life!

[Supercrew]

I cheated while drunk

I knew a long time ago that if I am drinking all bets were off when it came to me being honest, trustworthy, committed etc.

I kind of look at it this way, I can't drink and drive if I don't drink, and I would never cheat on my wife if I were sober, but drunk there might be a chance if the opportunity presented itself.

I do think it's a cop out to blame it on the alcohol, because if you are a problem drinker like me everytime you pick up the bottle you are rolling the dice.

So the morality isn't based as much on whether it was right or wrong to cheat as much as whether it is morally right or wrong for you to drink, if you know you can't control what might happen.

[LillyE]

I cheated while drunk

cpn1004;1295925 wrote: For me every time I screwed up and did things I would later regret, alcohol was ALWAYS involved.
Now I don't have those issues.

Amen to that Phil. It's so true. More and more I am realising that 99% of my regrets in life somehow involve drugs and alcohol. Oh to be free of all that. In fact, I know when I've gone even a short spell AF I feel that. That peace in knowing you aren't going to do something stupid or wake up with regrets - that your decisions are clear minded.

I agree with Supercrew. I don't think it's a cop out. I think it might be more for people who weren't such problem drinkers but we all know what it's like to just completely lose control when drinking and make decisions you KNOW you wouldn't otherwise.

Please people - forgive yourselves. BUT let's distinguish between it's not a cop out and not taking responsibility. The only way to turn this into a positive is to use it as a motivation to quit. A wake up call.

God. I had a cringe reminder the other day. Turned up to the first meeting of a contract job. The CD turns out to be a guy I drunkenly shagged years ago. Perfectly nice guy and we were both professional about it - we met through a friend so at least it wasn't a total one night stand - but christ so embarrassing to remember how trashed I was (we both were). Ugh.

[rebirth]

I cheated while drunk

Hi Miklo

Your post interested me because I blacked out on AL many times and ended up in terrible situations. I was always full of remorse the next day and couldnt understand why I would allow it. t's because I always thought that I was in control of the situation until I had that one drink which made me lose my senses. I just didnt care after that point. And I didnt care where or who I was with.

[BrokenDoll]

I cheated while drunk

If you blacked out, then it's alcohol to blame for cheating! BUT it's kinda your fault for mixing drinks all night, which is what caused the black out. If you were simply drunk and remember doing it, then you knew what you were doing...but too much alcohol can have same effect as date rape drug, you black out and don't actually know what's going out...so technically speaking, if he was sober enough, you can consider what happened rape, not cheating. Sorry it happened and don't hate yourself so much, cheating wasn't your fault...and if you didn't know you can black out from mixing drinks the way you did to the point you'd do something like that, then drinking too much wasn't your fault either because you obviously didn't know the consequences. Sorry I haven't read all your replies to see if you told your husband, but you should. If your husband loves you, you guys will get through it together.

[Kradle123]

I cheated while drunk

In Vino Veritas Est - BULLSHIT

Re-reading old Posts Again...Sorry
:l

[Yogamom]

I cheated while drunk

That's ok kradle....due to your bump i read it too. Some real hard truths in there. Thanks.

[dixon]

I cheated while drunk

Hi,
I think you haven't cheat anybody or your husband because you were unconscious but you have been cheated by that guy .So I suggest you to be aware with those people who do binge drinking before you join them.We cant do anything after joining them.
Here, people cheat their partner while they are sober but you were not so there is no reason to regret at all.I think that was not your intention to do so ...I wish,you must focus to regret on your addiction.
I hope you are doing well now.
Wish you all the best ,
Dixon

[Kradle123]

I cheated while drunk

Oh Shit!
You all do understand that person who originally posted that POST did so in February and is called God's Way and is not ME.

I just thought it brought up interesting thoughts on personaly responsiblity vs what we due under the influence.
Geez. It never occured to me that anyone would mistake GW for me especially since I am A BUDDHIST
So Dixon unless GW still lurks here...

Luckily I have never had this happen to me. In fact (and it's rather gallows humor here) my friends all joke that everybody get's to have affairs and sex but me... People sometimes think I am having affairs.. But alas.

The only affair I ever have takes double AA's.
Sorrry, Gallows Humor.

I Hope GW is Okay and she did NOT tell her husband.
I better stop resurrecting old threads. Bad idea.

[dixon]

I cheated while drunk

Kradle123;1332688 wrote: Oh Shit!
You all do understand that person who originally posted that POST did so in February and is called God's Way and is not ME.

I just thought it brought up interesting thoughts on personaly responsiblity vs what we due under the influence.
Geez. It never occured to me that anyone would mistake GW for me especially since I am A BUDDHIST
So Dixon unless GW still lurks here...

Luckily I have never had this happen to me. In fact (and it's rather gallows humor here) my friends all joke that everybody get's to have affairs and sex but me... People sometimes think I am having affairs.. But alas.

The only affair I ever have takes double AA's.
Sorrry, Gallows Humor.

I Hope GW is Okay and she did NOT tell her husband.
I better stop resurrecting old threads. Bad idea.

Sorry Kradle,
I used the word you for common use and it is not targeted to you.It is meant for all of us who have been suffering or will suffer from this hell.
I agree with you , it is also an addiction so no need to think others for a sexual intercourse rather than a partner.
Dixon

[Kradle123]

I cheated while drunk

No worries

sleep well
:l