I cheated while drunk :(

[peppersnow]

I cheated while drunk

Hello folks...I just want to jump in here and mention, to any of you who "cheated" when you were drunk - if you live in the United States, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) defines Sexual Assault as being any sexual encounter in which the recipient was unable to give consent, which includes being incapacitated due to drugs or alcohol. This portion of the law was strengthened in 2013 -- if you blacked out, don't remember, etc., you were the victim of a sexual assault. It doesn't matter if the other person was drunk as well. Think of it this way -- if two people are drunk and one pulls out a knife and stabs the other, the victim isn't blamed because they were drunk. That's how it works with sexual assault as well. I encourage you to contact a victims advocacy organization and get counseling specifically for sexual assualt, as you'll find a ton of professional support that will help you get through this. Please, please talk to counselors who can help you through this!

[Booze Blues]

I cheated while drunk

Thank you so much peppersnow! You are right! Since this has happened I have nightmares, I?m afraid to leave my house, I don?t want my husband to leave myside, I,m afraid of people walking past my house and I think of cars hitting me when I cross the street ect. I?m scared, scared of life and being hurt. Thank you.

[qwertyuiop]

I cheated while drunk

I feel terrible. I have cheated on my girlfriend that I am extremely in love with while being drunk and even put myself in sketchy situations with other women while drinking all within the last week. I didn't have sex with another girl but we did fool around a bit in the dark while wasted. I don't see my girlfriend all the time and I have never cheated on any girlfriends or even have been overly flirty with other girls in the past and i am in my late 20s. Even worse is she is the best relationship I have ever been in and of all the messed up girls i have dated in the past I cheated on the one I want to marry one day.

I feel extremely guilty and I am trying to just pretend it was a bad dream. I really do have to say that I blame the AL as I have never gone this long drinking every night in my entire life. I feel like the cheating was a sign of alcoholism and am stopping right away. It was definitely a rock bottom point and a real slap of reality. I would NEVER cheat... and I did.. and I feel absolutely terrible. I kept looking on forums on advice weather or not to tell her and its a bit of a mixed opinion, this forum seems a bit more forgiving in general seeing the cheating as the catalyst of realizing you have been drinking too much. Some people realize when they get into a fight, get arrested, or a car accident.. for me the catalyst was the cheating...

I don't think I should tell her... It would crush her and our relationship would be over. I am worried I won't be able to act natural. I am stopping drinking completely. I truly love this girl and want to marry her one day and she does not deserve this trouble! If she did the same, I wouldn't want her to tell me at all, especially if she would never do it again. I really feel like an awful person right now.

[Cali123]

I cheated while drunk

I am sorry you are going through this.

I am
Unfortunately on the other side of this story. My boyfriend with whom I live with went out with friends a month ago. I never questioned where he was going because our relationship was built on trust. He ended up not coming home that night. I called every police station because I was convinced he was in an accident. He showed up the next morning, crying and begging me to forgive him. Alcohol has been in his life since his teens and he has had issues with it. He apparently got drunk with a buddy afer this buddy left, he ended up meeting up with an old friends with benefits and slept with her. He knew the next morning that he would have NEVER done that sober. And felt his life was ruined. But he was most concerned on telling me the truth. I truly believe it wouldn't have happened of he was sober. He has stopped drinking since, not even one beer, and this man would drink 5 to 6 beers a night. He has begged for me to give him another chance and to prove how much he loves me. I have decided to give it another go. But I'm going to be honest....it has been hell. Even though deep down I know it won't happen again, my mind takes over sometimes.

So.....do not tell your SO. If this truly is something you are remorseful for and know it will not happen again, do not put him through that.

[fennel]

I cheated while drunk

peppersnow;1662009 wrote: Hello folks...I just want to jump in here and mention, to any of you who "cheated" when you were drunk - if you live in the United States, the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) defines Sexual Assault as being any sexual encounter in which the recipient was unable to give consent, which includes being incapacitated due to drugs or alcohol. This portion of the law was strengthened in 2013 -- if you blacked out, don't remember, etc., you were the victim of a sexual assault. It doesn't matter if the other person was drunk as well. Think of it this way -- if two people are drunk and one pulls out a knife and stabs the other, the victim isn't blamed because they were drunk. That's how it works with sexual assault as well. I encourage you to contact a victims advocacy organization and get counseling specifically for sexual assualt, as you'll find a ton of professional support that will help you get through this. Please, please talk to counselors who can help you through this!

The problem I have with this is that if both partners are drunk while having sex, why is it that the male partner is automatically a perp? What if he is just as wasted as the female? What if both drunk participants are the same sex?

[fennel]

I cheated while drunk

Cali123;1698500 wrote: I am sorry you are going through this.

I am
Unfortunately on the other side of this story. My boyfriend with whom I live with went out with friends a month ago. I never questioned where he was going because our relationship was built on trust. He ended up not coming home that night. I called every police station because I was convinced he was in an accident. He showed up the next morning, crying and begging me to forgive him. Alcohol has been in his life since his teens and he has had issues with it. He apparently got drunk with a buddy afer this buddy left, he ended up meeting up with an old friends with benefits and slept with her. He knew the next morning that he would have NEVER done that sober. And felt his life was ruined. But he was most concerned on telling me the truth. I truly believe it wouldn't have happened of he was sober. He has stopped drinking since, not even one beer, and this man would drink 5 to 6 beers a night. He has begged for me to give him another chance and to prove how much he loves me. I have decided to give it another go. But I'm going to be honest....it has been hell. Even though deep down I know it won't happen again, my mind takes over sometimes.

So.....do not tell your SO. If this truly is something you are remorseful for and know it will not happen again, do not put him through that..

I agree. It really puts a knife into the heart of the cheated on partner.

[johncaroll]

Hi GW. I had that experience too I cheated to my wife when I get drunk and I feel what you feel what right now but telling the truth to your love one will remove all the bad things that you feel. You to talk to him and tell him everything.

[danpeet]

I just want to reply to this post If you can't control alcohol worse thing will happen, you don't cheat on your husband your just super drunk when you slept with that guy. Maybe your husband has to know what you've done

[GradeT]

i'm sorry for what happen to you. i do believe that alcohol affect's our personalities, and do the things that we don't do necessarily. i also have done things i regret while i'm drunk and that's why most people want to be a sober completely including me.

Doggygirl is right We can't change the past. What we CAN do is make better decisions today.

[DarrylC24]

Doggygirl is right We can't change the past. What we CAN do is make better decisions today.

Totally agree with you.