i am in a terrible place

[Sweetgum]

Hi all, i am ashamed to share this but need to.

I am about 14ks pregnant and have been drinking constantly since even before i found out. I cannot have this child for a number of reasons, have made two appointments to discuss termination but due to either drinking or crippling panic attacks which mean i cant drive i have had to cancel them. I am in utter torment, running out of time but just cant seem to pull myself out of this this downward spiral. I hate myself for drinking, i managed to stop when pregnant with my two sons but this time its like im in denial . Sorry, thank you for listening

[sunshinedaisies]

i am in a terrible place

Sweetgum - you need to do something. Either stop drinking or make an appointment. Please make yourself a promise that you will do one or the other tomorrow??? I know it is really hard for you, but you have to think of the baby if you decide to have it and stop drinking. you are right - you ARE running out of time if you do decide on a termination so you do need to decide NOW. You have posted here and need help - but ultimately only you can make that decision. Please decide - one way or the other - okay? Sendiong hugs your way - you need them - do you have a friend that you can take into your confidence and that could take you so a panic attack wouldn't make any difference? Maybe someone else will come along with better advice than I can give - hugs to you :l:l

Sun

[starfairy]

i am in a terrible place

please stop drinking! it is not the babies fault. if you are going to terminate it do it very soon otherwise it will be too late and if you do deliver that poor thing may live a very sick life. so worried for you. what a terrible spot to be in. can you get a hold of some xanax to get you too your appointments. i know that is not healthy either but it may help you have an end to all of this. please keep us posted.

[Sweetgum]

i am in a terrible place

i dont know what xanax is. But everything my gp has given for my panic attacks (which hasnt been much) hasnt made any difference. I dont have any friends or family to turn to to help me with this, and please believe i have tried so hard to stop, but the panic attacks, depression and stress just mean i can only last a day or two

[Guitarista]

i am in a terrible place

Hi Sweetgum,

If you can't drive, can you call an ambulance to get you to a hospital? Ambulance should be available 24 hrs? Whether you're drinking or not, a hospital should assist you as this sounds like an emergency? Worry about the cost later if they charge you. I don't know, just throwing some idea's out there. Take care of yourself.

G.

[ATLThrash]

i am in a terrible place

Xanax is not an option if you are pregnant and intend to stay that way-- it is way into teh prohibited categories for a pregnant lady in terms of causing birth defects. Not doing anything just does not seem an option as drinking more will just damage the baby and the baby did not ask for that-- since you are running into a deadline so to speak for termination I agree with Guitarista-- soemhting that will prompst action has to be done-- if you think of the alternative of continuing the pregnancy while still drinking and then what could happen after the birth if the baby is ill-- that seems much more stressful than terminating the pregnancy or getting immediate help to stop drinking and get yourself sorted mentally. Pregnancy is very stressful anyway at times, even the best of times as you probably know. Good luck to you-- please check back in and let us know how you are,

[Nursie]

i am in a terrible place

I am so sorry you are struggling and I think you are very brave to post what you are going through.
I can tell you a couple of truths. If you stop now your baby has a good chance of being ok.
If you continue drinking, the baby can be born with fetal alcohol syndrome which is permanent and devastating. I had one patient with FAS and she is 19 now. She is intellectually and developmentally disabled and her mother can't bear to visit her because of her guilt.
My cousin just gave birth to a baby boy last week and he is hospitalized for drug dependence and they are looking at taking him as well as her other three children away from her.

Coming here is the first step, but you need to be braver still and call someone to lead you out of this.

PM me if you need to and we can chat further.
You can't do this alone. Praying for you now.

[Wally22]

i am in a terrible place

Oh dear what a predicament! I don't think you are in the right frame of mind to make a decision at this point, at yet you must. Guitarista is right you could take an ambulance if you don't have anyone to drive you in.
There are counsellors who can help you decide how to proceed and who can be of help to you, whichever route you choose.
The people in the emergency department can point you in the direction to get the help and support you need.

[CS04]

i am in a terrible place

Sweetgum,
You mentioned that there are reasons other than AL that would prevent you from having this child. Those may be bigger reasons than the AL.

I was in a similar boat as you 6 years ago, when I got pregnant unexpectedly, at the age of 40. Of course I had been been drinking prior to finding out, esp. since it was over the holidays. However I did not drink much during my pregnancy (a glass or 2 of wine or beer here and there; it really was not all that appealing while pregnant!) My son is now 5 1/2, in kindergarten, smart as the dickens.

It is very hard to deal with AL issues and small children. I still struggle. Feel free to PM me me if you wish.

[Snapdragon]

i am in a terrible place

Hi Sweetgum - I'm so sorry to hear about your predicament. I notice that you too live in the UK and consequently free access to your GP's service. I suggest that you ring your doctor's surgery and ask for an urgent telephone appointment with a nurse (most GP surgeries offer this in the UK).

I'm sure that if you explain your predicament to her (and this is totally confidential) she can arrange to get a midwife to come out to you to discuss your options and may also be able to get you some additional support.

Also, and I realise that you may not be religious, but many of the local churches in the UK (particularly baptist, methodist and New Life churches) have wonderful, non-judgemental people who will not only offer a friendly ear to listen, but may also offer you some practical support too. You don't need to fear walking through any of their doors as you will always be warmly welcomed.

Please don't keep drinking if there is a chance that you will keep your baby. :l

Snap xxx

[Sweetgum]

i am in a terrible place

Dear all

I managed to make an appointment with the clinic last week, i was much further forward than i thought and had to go into hospital for my termination yesterday. I was given medication and had to endure 'labour' and deliver the fetus. It was very traumatic, painful and harrowing . I came home today. I feel utterly devastated and guilt ridden. But i just wanted to thank you all for your advice and support.

best wishes

sweetgum

[sugarbeat]

i am in a terrible place

:lHey hun, I can't even imagine what you are going through but my heart goes out to you, have you sought out help to start dealing with this and the drinking now and not let it start stewing in you long term, its not the time for self counseling. Just be good to yourself, I'll be thinking of you

[drinkingal]

i am in a terrible place

sweetgum, I hope you take care of yourself and can now focus on getting some help for you. What you've gone through couldn't have been easy but you got there and did what you needed to do. Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing?
Sometimes life puts us in positions where we have to make choices we don't want to, but may have to anyway whether we like it or not. Please let us know how you are going, good or bad and maybe we can help :l

[hart]

i am in a terrible place

((((Sweetgum)))

You did the responsible thing and I am proud of you.

[SKendall]

i am in a terrible place

Sweetgum, I'm so sorry. That must havebeen a dreadful experience, I'm glad you asked for medical help.