Oh SunFlower...thank heavens... we have been so worried
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Sunflower, so thankful that you're back and still here for your family. Please PM me any time. I can give you my phone number too if you ever just need to chat. We were all so worried. Let us know if there's any way we can help. :lilheart:
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Praise the lord. I am so glad to hear from you Sunflower. I hope that your doing ok.I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.
Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.
Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.
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I think rock bottom was truly tonight guys, I slept all afternoon, as usual. My dear Brad got home around 9:30 tonight and was acting strange and avoiding me. When I finally got him to come into the bedroom he was visibly upset and started crying saying that he can't watch me kill myself anymore. He said he is afraid to come home each day and find me dead because of the AL and lack of eating food. I was so embarrassed and started crying also.
Here is the KICKER, last night while I was in class he drove to my parents home, he was crying and told them about me, that I am drinking daily, depressed, and sleeping all of the time. I really did not want them to know ANYTHING about this, I feel angry at him but he said he had nowhere else to turn. My poor 81 year old father became emotional with him (omg I just picture this scene). I tried free county funded counseling to no avail, and I have no insurance - I guess my dad said he would do anything to help me - so Brad wants me to go to a 30 day rehab and dad will pick up the tab.
Brad even read me a letter he wrote, I felt like I was on 'intervention'. He wants me to go tomorrow but my last class is Tuesday and then I am free for a good month (got fired a month ago). It's funny too (well not really) because with not working I kept thinking how great it would be to detox at home - but never did it, just kept on boozing. I am supposed to go to my parents hair tomorrow but I can't bear to face them, I am their youngest and hate to let them down like this. The rehab center is a hospital also and is only about 30 minutes away - Rogers in Occonomowoc. Do you know of a better place?
I did not want to go to California or Florida where all of the other rehab places are. I will miss my BF, my lil pug, and my cats SOOO much; and I am sure I can't talk to anyone on the outside for the first 2 weeks. I would just hate to spend all of this money from my dad and relapse, but I feel so bad for my BF, his mother is in very ill health also and the last thing he needs is this bullshit from me.
I feel so honored that he loves me enough to do this - but OMG telling my parents?? Maybe it is for the best, something NEEDS to change and it has been that way for at least 2 years. I never had such stomach issues, threw up phlegm and bile everyday, nor did I ever sleep for 20 hours at a time. I know I am very depressed, and suffer from anxiety as well - and the AL is not helping that at all, and I KNOW this but it is too easy to run to the store and grab a bottle. I don't have the answer in regards to myself, I just know this is becoming a bigger problem everyday and needs to come to a halt. Thanks for listening - again. I love to share with you, Michele
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Take the chance on rehab, it will give you a good chance to clear out your head and give you a foundation to start over. quitting in rehab is easy, its hard comming home, but they will give you the necessary tools. dont worry about relaps or letting anyone down...dont worry about anything and just focus on right now.
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Michele, please find Mollyka's posts about rehab. There are several people here - TDN, Molly and a few more who broke years of not being able to stay sober. Rehab did it for them. At some point it's about saving your own life. I hope you'll take the opportunity that's being offered to you........it will be better for you and everyone in your life in the long run. Sending you peace and strength. :lilheart:
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