revisiting my lonely place.

[luke379]

revisiting my lonely place.

yeah the visit went good everyone, she is happy that im choosing sobriety path now, i just need to keep it up and i will.

[Wagoneer]

revisiting my lonely place.

So happy to hear that Luke. You have been in our thoughts! WIl continue to send happy thoughts your way!

[K9Lover]

revisiting my lonely place.

You can do it Luke...I have complete faith in you!

Just think of what a great example you will be for your son, as a sober, happy dad.

[Girl1973]

revisiting my lonely place.

I think rock bottom was truly tonight, I slept all afternoon, as usual. My dear BF got home around 9:30 tonight and was acting strange and avoiding me. When I finally got him to come into the bedroom he was visibly upset and started crying saying that he can't watch me kill myself anymore. He said he is afraid to come home each day and find me dead because of the AL and lack of eating food. I was so embarrassed and started crying also. Here is the KICKER, last night while I was in class he drove to my parents, he was crying and told them about me, that I am drinking daily, depressed, and sleeping all of the time. I really did not want them to know ANYTHING about this, I feel angry at him but he said he had nowhere else to turn. My poor 81 year old father became emotinal with him (omg I just picture this scene). I tried free county funded counseling to no avail, and I have no insurance - I guess my dad said he would do anything to help me - so my BF wants me to go to a 30 day rehab and dad will pick up the tab. My borfriend even read me a letter he wrote, I felt like I was on 'intervention'. He wants me to go tomorrow but my last class is Tuesday and then I am free for a good month (got fired a month ago). It's funny too (well not really) because with not working I kept thinking great it would be to detox at home - but never did it, just kept on boozing. I am supposed to go to my parents hair tomorrow but I can't bear to face them, I am their youngest and hate to let them down like this. The rehab center is a hospital also and is only about 30 minutes away. I am in Wisconsin and did not want to go to California or Florida where all of the other rehab places are. I will miss my BF, my lil pug, and my cats SOOO much; and I am sure I can't talk to anyone on the outside for the first 2 weeks. I would just hate to spend all of this money from my dad and relapse, but I feel so bad for my BF, his mother is in very ill health also and the last thing he needs is this bullshit from me. I feel so honored that he loves me enough to do this - but OMG telling my parents?? Maybe it is for the best, something NEEDS to change and it has been that way for at least 2 years. I never had such stomach issues, threw up phlemg and bile everyday, nor did I ever sleep for 20 hours at a time. I know I am very depressed, and suffer from anxiety as well - and the AL is not helping that at all, and I KNOW this but it is too easy to run to the store and grab a bottle. I don't have the answer in regards to myself, I just know this is becoming a bigger problem everyday and needs to come to a halt. Thanks for listening - again.

[luke379]

revisiting my lonely place.

i hope it does come to a halt girl1973, best wishes to you getting sober and staying sober, its worth it.


My sons mother, the one i just separated from, was home when i got home from work today amazingly, she cares alot and me and her had a very long discussion. I thanked her alot for coming over.

my life is changing for the better since being sober and its staying that way.

[spacebebe01]

revisiting my lonely place.

Thats great news Luke, the weekend visits will be a wonderful way to spend time with your son and you will have a chance to think about yourself without worrying about your GF and son watching your every move while they are away so there will be less stress. Sometimes trying to constantly prove yourself can stress you to not being able to do your best.

Girl, you can ue thi as an opportunity to help yourself. You want to get rid of the guilt and shame they are no good for you, you dad is paying for this because he wants to, so you dont owe him. Good luck, dont worry about rehab, I enjoyed all of mine but dont do what I did, I just liked the break and having company to chat to, thats why I did 3, you should use to time to prepare for getting out and making decisions on what you want to do in your life.

[Girl1973]

revisiting my lonely place.

I'm just so sad and weepy and don't want to leave my home! It is so scary to think about it, why can't I do it at home ( Iknow I can't), I know I need help and guidance I am just scared to be away from home! I love my bed and my pets - my pug freaks out when I stay over at my friends - she walks into the 2nd bedroom every minute to check if I am there. But I do need help - I hate this and I hate myself for having to go through this shit

[playland]

revisiting my lonely place.

Oh Girl, I really feel for you, I post on the Med Thread and sometimes look around to see how others are doing, and I just want to say, please do the detox, this is your opportunity to have the help that might make the difference for you. I do understand about missing your home and pets, I know you will be able to make arrangements for your pug, and she will still be there when you get back home.

So, you are in my thoughts and prayers and just do your best!

love and hugs,
play

[KittyKatLost]

revisiting my lonely place.

I feel for all of you as I can relate to this, being in many of these relashionships that lead to my partner leaving me due to the fact they say how much I drank and acted then saw all these meds I take.
Whenever I did find someone they would always be gone within a few months, I have no children. I consider myself attractive, here I am at 37 years old, lonenly and mentally just not there , I am on Day 11 sober and the brain fog is clearing up. Taking alot of the advice I reed to concentratrate and work on myself before worrying about dating, ect...Just another one of my stories, I hope whatever I write would help someone that reads this.