feeling desparate my story

[peeenotgreegio]

I drink a large bottle of wine every night....some times a few cocktails....i am a functioning alcoholic, never been out of a job no dui, and i am a good mom....not dismissing my drinking but i have never neglected or abused her she is actually quite bright....that said i am 9 years sober from a crystal meth habit...gross, i know

I am in a relationship with a brilliant professor who adores me, problem is he too is an alcoholic thus making us toxic and enabling. I love him but i am thinking that in order to get a life of sobriety i may have to separate....My ex husband too is an alcoholic and actually now is in a coma from an altercation he got into while drinking..he was reaching out to me just a few days prior to the accident.....i feel like everything in my life is out of control i am struggling financially so to just up and go is not an option......my anxiety has become crippling i have no family...all of my friends drink...that is always the answer "lets go get a drink" advise? input....

[K9Lover]

feeling desparate my story

Hi Peeenotgreegio,
Welcome to MWO! We are glad you are here. I can relate to your story. I drank a 12+ pack of beer every night and was considered "functioning". I was also in an enabling relationship as well, he was on meth, and I had no idea...I had never been around any type of drug at all. But now looking back, I can see all the signs. We are no longer together and I hear he is clean, and I too have finally broken free of the chains of alcohol. It sounds like you are going through a rough time, just remember, alcohol will not make anything better. The problems will still be there, only you will be less capable of dealing with them. How old is your daughter? Mine is 14, and about 2 years ago she wrote me a letter telling me how much she hated my drinking and she was scared I was going to die. We both cried over it, and since that day I have been really focused on getting and staying sober. It's not easy, but it can be done. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
K9

[Kaslo]

feeling desparate my story

I am hoping some of the really great Triage experts like Guitar Man or Mario or MadMans comes on this threat to advise you on starting. Meanwhile, I would say focus on yourself. The other people in your life, (except your daughter) can do without your help for a while. See a doctor and come clean with your real story, and discuss some assistance with getting down from that much AL a day.

IN Monthly Abstinence there is a thread called Tool Box as a sticky at the top of all the threads. That one is great for maintaining after the first initial withdrawal.

Its very hard to stop when there are so many people around you enabling. Is there a place you can go with your daughter that is safe, for at least the first week to 30 days? If you are cut off from the people who used to be in your life that dont drink to excess, can you go to them, tell them you need to stop, and need a place to stay? Seeing the doctor may help also. I dont know how old your daughter is and if she could stay in a safe place while you are in a detox? I dont know how tox you are, so a doctor with good advice for stopping would be my first step.

Just because your bf is a professor and supposedly brilliant, if he is drinking that much, then he is NOT in good shape academically. And that is his problem not yours. Your ex as well same thing, dont worry about those guys, you have to concentrate on getting well. Its not going to be a picnic but it can be done.

I quit cold turkey from a similar habit level and this is what I did

Get rid of the booze in the house, but left the booze belonging to Mr Kaslo in his cupboard up high and out of sight.

Wrote out why I drank

Wrote down what I hated about it.

Got in all kinds of Alc Free drinks, huge varieties of them, and favorite snack foods

Wrote out a PLAN (see Tool Box, Monthly Abstinence thread)

When the witching hour, for me about 5:30 PM, came I FORCED myself to go for a walk.

For the first two weeks I planned stuff I had to do, and when ever I got the urge to drink I would crack one of the various fruity fizzy concoctions instead.

It took me about 3 weeks to get over cravings. After that it was mind games. LOTS of help on here.

Post often, visit the NEWBIE NEST. Tell your story. make some friends on here, its not hard.

You can do it. It is possible to quit drinking alcohol on the internet. I did it, many many people have done it. AND IT IS SO WORTH it.

Good luck and get going,

Kaslo

[Kaslo]

feeling desparate my story

Cross post K9, thanks. You said it better and shorter. See I knew someone would show up.

Thanks

Kaslo

[caper564]

feeling desparate my story

hey Peenot... I love the name .. pinot was my drug of choice, but really...every AL was my choice.. LOL its very hard when I quit and my Hub didn't .. in the beginning he really tapered off. i think partly so i wouldn't be tempted. but slowly but surely he has increased his amounts. In the begining i felt guilty about asking him not to drink so i didn't. and i pretended it didn't bother me. But really it did and it does. After 4 months he has increased substantially... and now i am concerned. i have not taken so much as a sip in this time.. (although i did open a bottle of wine and smell it)... wierd??

i guess i am saying you have to want it for yourself.. and I also had lots of excuses for drinking.. ie: financial, unstable relationship.. crappy job, moved and have no friends... self pity, self loathing, fat ugly... etc.. drinking made them all go away temporaily.. but NOT drinking made them all better.. really! truly! ..

caper

[resrchqueen]

feeling desparate my story

Caper...I don't think that's pathetic that you smelled an open bottle of wine. You didn't drink it!!!

[Doggygirl]

feeling desparate my story

Hi Peeno and :welcome:

Fellow (former) wine drinker here, and "functioning" alcoholic. Executive career, exciting life in the fast lane for many years, no duis, etc. etc. I was very high functioning right up until the time things started to unravel as my drinking got worse and AL took more and more control of my life. I always thought I was not an alcoholic because "those people" lived under bridges in boxes, and drank really disgusting stuff out of bottled wrapped in brown bags, and peed on themselves at night.

Little did I know.....

My life really spun out of control and I started making bad decisions. I'm so grateful I found this place - My Way Out and all the support here got me on the road to recovery. It's been bumpy along the way, but today I would not trade my sobriety for that old dark life - no way no how.

If I can do it, you can do it.

I had to build a new support network of non-drinking friends. Many are here of course, but I needed sober friends in real life too. AA has helped me with that part.

Believe in yourself, and trust that life without alcohol might be rough at first, but will lead you (and your child!) to a much, much better place. Be willing to do whatever it takes. You can do it.

DG

[SAUSAGE]

feeling desparate my story

Hi Peeno and welcome.

You have found the right place in MWO, this site can really help you if you stick around.

I was a daily wine drinker too and now I'm on day 61 AF. You've had some good advice already on the tool box, newbies nest etc.

The first couple of weeks will be tough but get through those and it will get easier as the AF days stack up and you will start to see your life improve in so many ways.

My husband still drinks,(most days - about 21 units a week) I haven't put any pressure on him to quit, however he is definitely drinking a lot less since I stopped.

Look forward to seeing you around.

[LibraryGirl]

feeling desparate my story

Hi Peeno.:welcome: I too used to drink a bottle or two of wine every day, but upped it to hard liquor every day, for about 7 years or more. I was "functioning" I guess, but certainly not in the way a sober person functions. It took a herculean effort to make it through most days until I could get home and get another drink. Frequently, I couldn't even get out of bed to make it to work in the mornings. I am extremely grateful I still have my job.

I quit on Feb. 23. I have had about 5 drinks since the 39 day AF mark, but not to inebriation, and haven't had a drop in 8 days. I believe total sobriety is the best way, and that is my goal. This is the best place that I've ever found to get you on that path (to sobriety), so you've made the all-important first step by coming here.:goodjob:

Keep posting and listen to the wisdom of members on this site. It's a loving recovery center.:l

[KittyKatLost]

feeling desparate my story

Peenot I can relate to what your saying, stay trong and conquer this, I am 37 years old, always woke up with a hangover, vodka was my choice or whtever was available. the beer or wine wouldnt let me get that buzz out of reality I was looking for. Here I am at 37 alone and wondering what life will bring. This site has been great great! Ive leared I need to work on myself before finding someone. I am just scared to be alone at 40.
The last person I met, he was an alcoholic and would mix painkillers with it, and just pass out, I couldnt say much since I was drinking more than he was but wasnt taking any painkillers.
I wish you the best of Luck!

[DriftyAlison0]

feeling desparate my story

Peenot you have gone to the right place. I may not have been a everyday drinker, but I knew that I were to keep drinking that I would be there. I was bad enough that I when I drank, I drank more experienced drinkers under the table and I was so early on. I quit with the help of God and this site. Read the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and set up a plan. Post here as often as you need to. Talk to your partner about it.

[resrchqueen]

feeling desparate my story

Kaslo... Did you have any major withdrawal symptoms coming off your normal alcohol intake...Curious as to how you felt and coped with that...

[Unwasted]

feeling desparate my story

:welcome:Peenot,

Just wanted to welcome you. You've already gotten good advice here.....one additional thing I would suggest is reading the book Kick the Drink by Jason Vale. It's not a cure all but is a good book to help you make a shift in your thinking about glamorizing alcohol.

Also, once I stopped drinking my anxiety went away - that and the correction in my sleep are nothing short of miraculous.

I know it's easy for me to say, but I would work my drinking friends out of my life and get ones who don't drink - even if it means going to AA.

Best to you,

UN

[Sisyphus56]

feeling desparate my story

I second Kick the Drink! I'm not yet AF but as Unwasted said, it did help me rethink the whole issue. Good luck Everyone here is on your side!