In reading the titles of everyone's thread title, I felt it appropriate to start a 30 day thread. I have been a member 2007 and yet here I am AGAIN only to have done the same crap as before, nothing changed. Well, actually I did manage to achieve a few 30 days AF (the longest has been 90 days), but then that told alcoholic mind tells me "well, you can get drunk one night and then start AF the next day" and before you know it one night turns into a out of control where total mayhem happens. Its me calling in sick, missing not just a day of work but weeks and the reason why I get away with it is because I tell me that there has been a death family. Oh my god, now it's turned me into a LIAR and the result ends with me losing job. I am 42 and longest job I have ever held was 2 1/2 years and by the grace of God I have managed to stay above water. Some of the jobs I had were great and could given me a career but I choose alcohol instead. Every single time, I go through this and it's become so exhausting. So, today I will begin my new journey of surrender and say goodbye to my evil friend (the wine). I know that if I continue doing this, I can never have the life that I want. I been an alcoholic for 20 years and have lost friends, a chance to have a child, a job and most importantly I know that it has DAMAGED my insides for sure and I will DIE!! I am going to also start attending AA meetings, even though I am not big fan, it's just time to do whatever it takes for me to stop. To stop fooling myself into thinking that I can drink...I CAN'T!! I need to stop fooling myself and start to build a new life of being AF and I know that those 30 days that I was sober, it felt fricken AWESOME!!!
In conclusion, this last binge was really bad. Drinking in the evening, morning and passing out at night. I can't imagine how the people at the mini market must of thought when they would see buying two bottles of wine for the last 18 DAYS!!!! Wow,
that's just someone is a serious alcoholic and that someone is ME!!! So, I am now will starting my new life and hope that anyone who would be interested in doing a 30 AF to join in, the more the merrier.
Thanks for letting me share my LONG story and sorry for any typos. I wish you all the best luck in the battle because it is and but again once you surrender to it, life can be great.
Hugs,
Janet
AF Day 2
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