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    Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

    Good morning, everyone!

    So nice to read your post, Janet! It's uplifting to hear that you have plans to improve your life and happiness, and that ill help you through the holidays this year! No way could you have made those plans if you were still drinking! I try to focus on the day, but after a certain amount of good AF time, the foucs widens.

    Great perspective on the bike incident. I realize how lucky I am, and my problems are just little bumps along the way. These poor families will forever be in mourning. Watching the father of one of the little girls on TV last night was heartbreaking. He is trying to focus on helping others--how amazing is that, when he has lost his sweet, innocent little six year old. I'm not sure how smart it is to have some of the children interviewed--they are still in shock and need to stay close to their families. It is just overwhelmingly sad and senseless.

    I have to get a train this afternoon to get closer to my sister's house, so she can pick me up and I'll stay at her house overnight and show up in court tomorrow a.m. to wait until the judge can see me to suspend my probation and I can hopefully get my paperwork. Am still in disbelief about the probation officer's incompetence, but there is nothing I can do about it. Not sure ho I'll get back home tomorrow night, as my sister works full time and I hope her assistant can get me to the train. If not, Mr TDN will have to drive the 2 1/2 hrs to get me. Then there is the issue of getting to the DMV for a hearing there. Maybe Tuesday. Another 4 hr round trip. I have to do all of that before being able to get things in order here in this state. And we are finally going to get snow/sleet today.

    OKay--enough for now. Listening to a replay of a hypnosis event on addictions. Interesting. Church later this a.m., then the hour drive to the train. We live in an area that is beautiful, but far from any major highways or transportation.

    Have a great AF day!

    TDN
    "One day at a time."

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      Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

      a quick check in to say hi & sorry for the grumble the other day.....recent news puts everything into perspective doesnt it? Good to hear from you Sausage, Janet, & TDN....off to catch up with some reading & post more tomorrow. xx
      AF since 9 May 2012
      Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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        Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

        Hello everyone,
        I can't believe how fast the time flys. I haven't been posting but I've been lurking. I'm happy to see all of you staying AF throughout the good times and the stressful times and the holidays which can present all sorts of challenges.
        I'm hanging in there, staying AF too. I still need to find a hobby of some sort. I get bored, I'm having a hard time wanting to be social and yet I know connecting with people is good for me. i watched a show the other night about odd animal friendships. There was a deer and a dog, a goat and a blind horse, a monkey and a dog, etc... that all formed these unusual but very emotional and strong bonds. The scientist were saying that the emotional connection raises the ocycotin(sp?) in the body which gives us the feel good reaction. The explanation was much more sofisticated than that but it was really cool. I a;ways feel really peaceful after I leave the horses I help out with on the weekends. Maybe I should just hang with the animals .
        So my Dr. suggested I take Lexapro at the onset of PMS after i joked about my "rage week." So I said ok for the first time. Since I'm not uder the depression of alcohol and a daily hangover, I guess my hormonal craziness is the real deal. ive been on it for 2 days and so far I think its taken off the edge BUT both nights I've woken up at 1am and cant fall back asleep for a good hour or so. So that's enough to piss me off! Has anyone else tried Lexapro? I'd love your input.
        Well, I best be off. Have a great day everyone!
        Ishy

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          Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

          Hi...know its a busy time with the run up to Christmas but just wanted to check in even if it is briefly!!

          Ishy, good to hear from you. Sorry I cant be of any help re the Lexapro although I can relate to the "hormonal craziness" of which I have lots of experience!!! My husband will definitely endorse this statement!! This year I have felt so much better and its either due to me not drinking or the fact that I am starting the menopause!! The one thing that did really make a difference to me when I was at my worst, and passed myself with the despair, was the Women's Nutritional Advisory Service run by Maryon Stewart...I would definitely recommend you checking her website out. Diet, exercise and supplements made a huge difference!

          Day at home today...more wrapping pressies & general tidying up. The town is getting crazy with people panic buying, its mad!! It was our 29th wedding anniversary on Monday and we went to a really nice restaurant for a slap up meal!! Hubby had a bottle of red to himself and I had a bottle of sparkling water!! Might sound daft but it does make such a difference drinking it out of a really nice wine glass!! Needless to say...he had a bad night & struggled to get up for work yesterday morning whilst I bounced out of bed after a great night's sleep lol!!

          Will pop back tomorrow...xx
          AF since 9 May 2012
          Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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            Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

            Hi everyone, back from Chicago and a brand new day one coming up. Janice, the couple of beers ran a little longer than necessary but I look forward to the clear thinking that sobriety always brings. That last "program" made it for 31 days, not bad for me, and now I'm stuck on 189 days AF for 2012....

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              Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

              Hi everyone, hope all are well. We have had some lovely bright cold days here in the south of England and what a difference it makes, it feels so Christmassy but today is just one of those dark dreary wet days, not good!!

              TDN not sure if you're back yet but hope everything went okay at court re your probation. Sausage, good to hear from you...I know your children are young and I remember how busy it is at this time of the year (especially trying to get everything done before they break up from school) !!
              Janet I like the sound of your positive attitude and your plans for next year!!

              Balboa welcome back to sobriety! We are all different and we do this in our own way but I must admit the idea of a "program" or a plan sounds far too complicated for me.

              After my first AF spell of 42 days in 2007 (and again 120 days in 2008) I decided of course I could moderate my drinking; that "I" was in control and set myself a list of "do's" and "don'ts". You know the ones, "no alcohol Monday to Friday", "no alcohol before 7pm"; "red wine only", "drink slowly", etc etc etc. My program didnt work....I just didnt have the willpower or the discipline to stick to my "rules" and life became far too complicated. It wasnt long before I was back in that dark deep lonely pit. Once I allow that first drop to pass my lips, I know exactly what will happen and I can't be doing with the mental exhaustion of working to a program that is only going to end up one way. Total abstinence is the only way for me. Like I say, we're all different and I wish you lots of luck with your sobriety in 2013 Balboa.

              Will check back later xx
              AF since 9 May 2012
              Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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                Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                Welcome Hippyman, and hi to everyone else.

                Just a quick check in, as I am leaving for work soon. Nasty weather here Week has been stressful, with court and then the most horrible place, RMV. Had to pay $1,000 to get my driving privileges back in that state, after being told it would be $500. That state is corrupt in every way. Now need to go though the process here in this state, and I pray it will only be $100.

                Will check in oer the weekend.

                :lto all
                "One day at a time."

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                  Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                  Hi everyone,
                  TDN, I hope things go smoothly for you. I also hope that you are proud of yourself for staying strong through all of this.
                  Hi Hippyman, Janice, Janet, balboa, sausage, Scottish lass.
                  Balboa, i tend to I agree with Janice, it's very exhausting for me to try and control my drinking. It's such a mental drain and I always ended up drinking every night right back where I started. It has become easier to say no and be done with it, no strategizing, no negotiating, no anxiety over it.
                  Today was hard for me. I have to say the holiday blues or apathy has hit me. I feel stronger now but I was caught off guard with a pretty strong urge. Yikes.
                  Check back with you all later.
                  Ishy

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                    Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                    Quick check in, I have neglected this thread for a while, and I apologize - I do read and keep an eye on you all. It is a crazy time of year, way to busy with year end demands at work - childrens school activities - preparing for holidays and then some personal messes to try to deal with. I have been struggling with my desire to be AF and not succeeding, but not totally failing either.....
                    Deciding just to do the best I can in all aspects and not to be too disheartened when that is not quite good enough....
                    Stay strong my friends here.....:l:l
                    “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                      Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                      Hello Everyone,

                      Just a quick check in before I head to bed...

                      Sorry for not being able to post as much, busy with work and Christmas stuff. It such a pleasure reading your posts and I will check back in tomorrow to let you know what has been happening.

                      Hugs,
                      AF Day 240
                      AF Since May 2nd 2012

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                        Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                        Morning all...hi Hippyman, TDN, Ishy, SLass, Janet! A quick checkin..I was at Sainsburys at 6.05am this morning for the last of my food shopping incl turkey (round 2!). Now I've collapsed with my coffee...think I've peaked for the day!! Grocery shopping is so hard this time of the year...alcohol is in your face everywhere you go isnt it? We've got loads in the house as I'm determined the rest of the family shouldnt suffer and I'm fine with that. Got myself a good selection of soft drinks for the hols..tonic water, cranberry, limoncello, J20, shloer, so I'll be fine. Hubby was tossing & turning all night, drinking lots of water, after his bottle of red last night...another reminder as to what I dont miss.

                        Anyway, I'll check back later...I'm staying close over this holiday period!

                        Have a great day. xx
                        AF since 9 May 2012
                        Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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                          Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                          Good morning to everyone.

                          Glad to see you, Janice, and look forard to reading more this weekend.

                          Janet, sounds like you have things under control ith all your non-alcoholic drinks lined up! We only have beer in the house, as that is all Mr TDN drinks, and he has one--two is his limit. We have friends coming for Christmas, but they know about my situation and they are not big drinkers, so she's bringing sparkling non-alcoholic wine. I'll also have the diet cranberry and selzer and lime. Have to go and do my grocery shopping after work today. Not sure what time I'll be there until--usually we close at 1:00, but today will probably be claoser to 4:00. I am really tired, as I've worked nine hour days the last three days. Monday will be the last crazy day, and we will be exchanging gifts, etc.

                          This has been the most awful week, ith court, the RMV in the neighboring state here I got my first DUI-and having to go to to different places and wait and then pay a $1,000 fine. Then, yesterday, I had to letters from that RMV waiting for me when I got home. First says my privilege to drive in that state will be suspended as of Jan 17 unless I provide something from this state, court papers (hich they wouldn't even look at the other day) and a few other things. Second letter says they iwill be suspending my license as of march 17 unless I completie yet another class-this one is 8 hours and may be completed in one or two sessions. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach and Mr TDN looked like he as going to faint. But I didn't feel like drinking--just the opposite. AL made my life hell, and I am trying to focus on just staying AF and taking it one day at a time, but seeing a future where I will never have to worry about driving drunk again. I have alays been so opposed to drunk driving, but as my alcoholism progressed, I felt like I was safe in my car. How sick is that?

                          Okay, have to run now, but will be back later.

                          Wishing everyone a great AF day!

                          :lTDN
                          "One day at a time."

                          Comment


                            Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                            Busy day... late check in before bed. TDN you can & you will get through this & make sure you never have another week like this one. A hard lesson learnt but its done now...all you can do is concentrate on today & make sure alcohol is no longer apart of your life. There were definitely many times when I'd jump in the car to pick my hubby up from the station after drinking all afternoon. How I got from A to B without anything happening I dont know. I have a lot to be thankful for.

                            Went to Marks & Spencer today to collect my food order...queue mile long and assistants handing out mince pies & Bucks Fizz to everyone....well not everyone. It really is a testing time but I dont drink anymore - its as simple as that.

                            Love to all, see you tomorrow. xx
                            AF since 9 May 2012
                            Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

                            Comment


                              Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                              Hello Everyone,

                              TDN, do you mean "DMV" or "RMV"? If it is RMV, what does the R stand for? What a bummer that you have to endure all the "racket" to get your license back. I too, lost my drivers license about 20 years ago and NOW I am working on getting it back. I know what you guys must be saying "20 years...WHAT????" OMG, it's a long story and since getting sober, it's been added to my list of things I need to take care of. Good luck with it TDN...

                              Janice, I am impressed on how you can be so strong around others drinking, it would be tough for me. Which is one of the reasons why I passed on going to my company's Christmas party last night, they are all drinkers and the sad part is they are all EXTREMELY clickish, even the PARTNERS!! OH WOW, what a BIG disappointment!!! But that my dear friends ( with a very saddened sigh) is another story that I will share with you another time.

                              My four day weekend is going well, however I've been REALLY lazy and have been eating lots of holiday sweets and so tomorrow I plan to get myself out on a run and take the doggie out for a very, very, long walk. I have been juicing the green drink (spinach, broccoli, ginger, half of a granny smith apple, lemon juice & water) almost everyday. I also started crocheting a baby blanket for my brother and his wife new baby (due next year). I also started learning how to play my mini guitar, so far I can play Mary Had A Little Lamb and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I got the first part of Jingle Bells but will need to go on YouTube to learn the second. I am keeping myself busy and positive...being alone is kind of fun because you are not in a hurry to go anywhere...so you get alot of things done...LOL..LOL..oh that's too funny!

                              Anywho, sorry to say that I really don't have too much to write : ( Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and then Christmas... well it's a tough couple days for me but I will get through it...THANK GOD I HAVE MY DOGGIE!!! Sheesh, last year was awful and to make matters worse, I was drinking bottles and bottles of chardonnay....ICK!!

                              Wishing you lovely people a great Christmas and I look forward to reading your posts.


                              Hugs,
                              Janet
                              AF Day 242
                              AF Since May 2nd 2012

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                                Anyone Up For 30 Day AF

                                Merry Christmas Eve, all!

                                Janet--20 yrs without a license??? I truly am speecheless! I hope you tell us about that at some point. At least you live in a place where you can bike or get public transportation. I am about seven miles from town, and an hour from any major highway, and we have no public transportation. I was lucky to have a job in town last summer--actually for six months--and now work at the flower shop, which is also ten minutes away, but not "down town."

                                In this state, it is the DMV, but the "R" in RMV stands for Registry. It is a horrible system and the rude incompetents who work for it are secure in their state provided benefits and salary. Many are appointed by relatives.

                                I hope you enjoy the time with the sweet doggy! In most cases, I like dogs (animals) better than people Your company sounds pretty typical, actually, with the drinking and the clickiness. Will look forard to hearing more about that, too.

                                Janice, you have done great with everything! Not sure what they were handing out at M&S's (remember when I was an au pair in England years ago that they called it "Marks and Sparks), but sounds alcoholic. Glad you got all the shopping done, including the turkey! I got a beef roast, and was lucky that Mr TDN had talked to the butcher at the market, as he got us a top notch roast for the same price as a lesser quality one. I'd like to get everything from a local farm here, but these days the prices are just too high for that.

                                Hope everyone else checks in today. I'll be checking again after work and church services.

                                TDN
                                "One day at a time."

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