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It took all my courage.

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    #1

    It took all my courage.

    I am struggling with the argument in my head every day. I hate myself for even having the argument.
    So I finally went to the Doctor and asks for Antabuse or Canpral. He said no, and those don't really work. He suggested I go to meetings and see a psychiatrist.

    I also gave him the articlr that someone posted regarding SSRIs linked to cravings for alcohol and asked to be changed to Remerin which is still an anti depressant an also helps with sleep. He agreed to let me taper the celexaband start Remeron.

    I'm so disappointed.

    Yeah, just go to meetings. I don't want to go! I hate it there!!
    Day 1 again 11/5/19
    Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
    Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
    Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
    11/27/19: messed up but back on track
    12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

    One day at a time.
    Tags: None
    #2
    It took all my courage.

    Awwhhh Nursie, there are so many doctors out there who do not understand this disease. If you really want to give Antabuse a go, you can buy it yourself online, I don't know much about it but there are others who have and have had success. Please don't let this setback bring you down.

    There are more ways to skin a cat hon xx
    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

    AF 10th May 2010
    NF 12th May 2010

    Comment

      #3
      It took all my courage.

      Hi Nursie

      I understand your frustration and disappointment. Like you, I hate meetings, there just awful (with respect they work for some, but not for everyone). Do take a look online for what's available that might help you, why not try Kudzu Rescue, I've heard good reports on it, that might help.

      Hope that you will feel better soon, why not write down, right now all the things that you are grateful for. Also write an imaginery letter to that doctor, telling him/her exactly how you feel about how they treated or didn't as the case maybe. V.IMPORTANT - Don't post the letter, just either tear it up or burn it. Believe or not, this does help to release emotions and hopefully will help let go of the argument or just put it behind you.


      Best of luck x

      Comment

        #4
        It took all my courage.

        Oh Nursie - I am so sorry - it took me about a year before I plucked up the courage to talk to my doctor - so I KNOW how hard it was. SO sorry. I agree with you on meetings - I have had to have a new doc and she isn't as sympathetic or as understanding as the first one was. I am on Topa but I havew to get to such a high level for it to work for me - I have started taking 4 supps that combined really seem to help - you might want to give them a try...... I have to take them religiously though - miss any and it doesn't work as well!! I take

        2 Kudzu (from here) 3 times a day
        1 Chromium Picolinate 3 times a day
        1 Calcium Citrate 3 times a day
        2 tsps of L-Glut 3 times a day

        Don't know if it will help you, but it really does seem to help me. I also have weaned off of my AD too - am wondering if that might help - pf course my doc just mumbled something about Al causing depression nothing to do with Ad's and depression - she is hopeless and doesn't listen to me. PLEASE be careful tapering the Celexa - I had major problems with that - my doc went from 40mg of Celexa to 10 mg Lexapro and I eneded up in the hospital witha suspected TIA - turned out it was 'cos she had taken me off the Celexa without tapering me.

        I wish you well Nursie

        Hugs, sun X
        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

        Comment

          #5
          It took all my courage.

          Nursie.
          you can order AB at goldpharma.com
          Sorry about your doc
          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
          Live in the Solution....not the problem

          Comment

            #6
            It took all my courage.

            Thank you everyone and sorry about the typos. My phone is a pain.
            Day 1 again 11/5/19
            Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
            Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
            Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
            11/27/19: messed up but back on track
            12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

            One day at a time.

            Comment

              #7
              It took all my courage.

              Nursie,

              I found the topimax (from the MWO book) to work along with the supplements. I ordered the Topimax from river pharmacy and the supplements from this site. Don't let one Dr be in charge of your health! These medications do help along with the right mind set. Please don't be be discouraged. They are not that expensive and do make a difference. Check back please.

              Comment

                #8
                It took all my courage.

                Hi Nursie,

                Go to another doctor, then another, until you find one that WILL help you. I've been very lucky in that I've had 2 wonderful (women) doctors that care and understand. If you are putting yourself out there, and asking for help, they NEED to help you!!! Hearing about these assholes gets my blood boiling. Can you try another doctor??? Antabuse has saved my life...I want the same for you.

                :h:h:h
                K9
                :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                Comment

                  #9
                  It took all my courage.

                  HEY NURSIE

                  I know exactly what you mean! You ust get so tired of the struggle! I never thought I would but I ordered AB from River Pharmacy and I am glad I did.
                  Being the dumb ass that I am I had to check it out and see what dose would "work".
                  I got 250 mg, though I would split them and take 125/day. It is rather expensive.
                  After much ado, I now take 250mg about every 5 days. IN MY EXPERIENCE this is PLENTY. If disulfiram is in your system at all alcohol will not be processed and you will get sick. No ifs ands or buts about it.

                  I took one Monday and I took one today. It takes the option off the table, unless you start that shithead thinking of oh I won't take it and next weekend I can drink. That I guess would explain a daily dosage so you never are without it in your system. Either way it works for me.

                  I wish you all the best and hope you can get it if you want to. After writing this I may have changed my mind and start taking 125/day. Probably a better option but we'll see.
                  Take care

                  Comment

                    #10
                    It took all my courage.

                    AND>>>>

                    Doctors are not all-knowing. Two years ago my doctor (major breakdown-alcohol and crack) did what he could and admitted what he didn;t know and steered me to people who could help.

                    A substance abuse specialist IMHO would never tell you that the drugs you mentioned "do not work". Anyone can do their own research now so that's a good thing.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      It took all my courage.

                      Hey Nursie -

                      I have been trying to order the AB from AllDaychemist for 3 Freekin' weeks - but their ordering from the States is a nightmare. SERIOUSLY. All kinds of issues - I've got at least 15 hours of trying, dealing with non-existant customer support on US Hours, etc - who tell me the order went through - only to log in the next day - order didn't blah blah blah. I tried them - because they were so much less expensive than River.

                      River - because it's got a Canadian home office - is much easier to get the financials through - so even though it's beaucoup more expensive to order the AB - I ordered the day before my first AllDayChemist order - and it's due to arrive next week according to the shipping tracker. I still haven't managed to place the stupid ADC order.

                      Anyway - it might just be better for this to be an online order. There are pros and cons - but I don't want this on my insurance right now. I don't. So - it's not going to be. I've been reading the threads - and the 250 dose seems high after the first week of getting it in the system - so it looks like a week one - 250, then split the pills and do a 125 per day dose to maintain...makes it more cost effective and still works...at least what I can read - maybe some of the actual AB users will weigh in...

                      IDK Nursie - you have had a tough time - and with your brother's loss? If this is what you need to do to get through without a stumble - than your doctor can get stuffed.

                      Hugs...
                      That popping sound you hear is me attempting to remove my head from my arse. It's been there for years so this may take a while.
                      Admitting I need healing. And I am not big enough to do this alone.
                      AF - August 20, 2012

                      Comment

                        #12
                        It took all my courage.

                        HEY PRAIRIE F

                        It works; it definitely works! Consider me the guinea pig for AB and alcohol consumption. Embarassing to say, but I did check out dosages, effects etc. 250 mg will stay around for 6 or 7 days and even one beer will cause the awful effects.

                        I am weak, I admit it. I like it. If I think of drinking then I go-"OH NO-cannot do that-forget about it." And on I go.

                        Take care

                        Comment

                          #13
                          It took all my courage.

                          The first time I was given it....I drank on it....and had no effects until the next morning. The living hangover of all time. I think this drug is good....but, damn you have to be committed. And if you are committted then you don't need the drug. Its a catch 22....but, now I think I might try it again. But, now I know....the drug helps many.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            It took all my courage.

                            Hi Prarie,

                            Did you have any luck with River? I'm in the states and I use them. My husbands and md but for our health insurance we go out to River and the quality is just as good. I'm not sure what country you are at. Hope you've gotten it my now. The word is, if its not a controlled substance - you should be fine.

                            Comment

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