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[Destiniey]

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I am doing good...I am just soooooo angry and disappointed at myself for drinking this weekend! I am back on day 1 AF and I am reading a book called "End Your Addiction Now"...it is some sort of proven nutritional supplement program. I sunk to my lowest this past weekend and I can only go up from there...so I am willing to try anything so this is my LAST day 1 AF.....I want to get my life back!

[K9Lover]

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Hi Kdog and Destiniey,

Get through those first few days, and then be happy that you will never have to go through them again! Having a drink or two will only prolong the misery, just don't take that first drink and this will all end eventually. Use your librium as necessary, it will help take the edge off of all this. You both CAN do this. I never thought I would quit drinking, it was so deeply engrained into my daily life, I couldn't imagine living without it. But I am on day 140 and each day gets easier. If I can do it, you can do it! We're here to help, so please keep us posted!

K9

[Destiniey]

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Hi Kdog....I am hanging in there....how are you doing??

Hi K9....wow...congrats on 140 AF days! That is amazing! Thanks for your support...it's nice to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[K9Lover]

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Hi Destiniey,

You mentioned that this past weekend was your "lowest"...I suggest keeping that at the FRONT of your mind, whatever happened. One of my big motivators for stopping was all the stupid sh*t I was doing while drunk, the texting, calling, driving (!!), making a complete ass of myself...I never want to wake up at 3:00am scrambling for the phone to see what I did. No more piecing together the night before. The anxiety, shame and embarrassment just became TOO much. You will not believe the FREEDOM that sobriety gives you! Stay strong...like you said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel...and no, it's not a train...it's happiness!

Hang in there!

K9

[kdog]

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we all screw up distinieny! I know I did too, last night and I had gone all day, even after my daughter and bf asked me if I wanted to sit outside and have a beer, I said NO, and later it got the best of me, ugh, so no worries, I'll start again! at least I am not allowing myself anything during the day, that used to be hard for me when I was on a day off! Thank you all for the encouagement, I really do get a lot of power so to speak from coming here! Its the first thing I read every morning!
Kdog

[kdog]

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P.S. also would like to note, I didn't like the taste nor the feeling it gave me, but drank anyway! Go Figure

[Destiniey]

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K9....thanks for the words of encouragement. It is 9:30 pm and I am still AF. I am really hoping that this is it....for good! It is terribly exhausting trying to act sober when you're not...a total waste of energy! I hate walking on eggshells when I get up in the morning wondering what the hell I did and if my husband is going to say something about what I did.....ugh! It is comforting knowing that I am not alone!!!!

Kdog.....I hope that today was a good day for you! I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday so why I decided to start drinking later in the afternoon is beyond me! So I took an awesome day and ended up screwing it up! I didn't like the taste either but I still kept doing it. I woke up this morning and was totally disgusted with myself. So today was another day 1 for us both and hopefully this will be the start of a new life for us!

[planetjanet]

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Hi Destiniey,

I just wanted to say congrats on AF Day 1 and please keep posting your progress or who knows maybe there might be someone needing your words of wisdom. Stay strong and PLEASE try not beat yourself up, man oh man I can't even begin to tell you how many "AF Day 1 (again)" I have had but I am no longer going to beat myself over it. Just get myself back up and keep trying and trying....

Keep us posted and please know that you have a great support group here at MWO.

Hugs,
Janet

[K9Lover]

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Hi Destiniey,

Here's to day 1! I've had more of those than I can count! You're right, drinking is exhausting...every part of it, from figuring out if you have enough to get you through the night, to trying to pretend that you aren't drunk, and then later doing damage control. Yep, it's tiring and so much work. It's much easier to be sober!

You don't necessarily have to say that this is day 1 "for good"...sometimes the thought of never drinking again is overwhelming. I say take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if necessary. All you can do is live NOW...nobody has figured out a way to do it different yet! LOL

Keep up your great attitude and you will beat this darn Beast to the curb...I have faith in you!

K9

[kdog]

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good job on day one destiney! I too have had way to many day ones, hope its the last! Ty for your support k9 and Janet, hope you are doing well too!
Kdon:goodjob:

[kdog]

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Having a really rough day, not just the al, but not used to being layed off! So much to do, and I just feel to depressed to do it...:upset:

[Destiniey]

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Hi K9, Kdog and Janet! Today started out great but on my way home this afternoon that friggin "beast" entered my head and I knew I had to pass 2 liquor stores on the way. I passed the first one but I knew I could stop at the other one if I wanted to. I approached the other one and white knuckled the steering wheel and kept going! I thought about all the advice that you have been giving me K9. Your words of encouragement helped me kick the beast to the curb today. I thought of you Kdog and the fact that we are on the same schedule and I didn't feel so alone. I am so glad now that I didn't stop....but that was a VERY long ride home because all I thought about was AL until I shifted my thinking to all your posts!

[DriftyAlison0]

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Well done Destiniey!

[kdog]

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WTG destiniey! I am so proud of you!:goodjob:

[planetjanet]

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That's so fricken AWESOME Destinley!!!!! Wow, I am so proud of you and just remember that YOU can do this and just remember that YOU made this choice. You took control and said NO, CONGRATS for staying strong.
Kdog, hope you are doing okay. Just remember to take advantage of this time you have off from work to get yourself well. Maybe you can write a list of things that you would like to do but couldn't because you were working. I hope that you will get through this (and you will) and remember that you have alot support here.

Hugs,
Janet
AF Day 14