Husband Slept With Au Pair

[XWino]

I am trying to deal with things without drinking. My husband had an affair with our au pair. At the time, we were separated in that he slept at a different location, except every other weekend when he watched the kids at my home. He was very in our life and we even went on vacation together. She had told him she believed I wanted us to be together. Anyway he told me and I was very upset and ended up in the psych ward. This was about two weeks ago. I have stopped drinking for a week as I ruined a relationship during the last
binge after learning of this. Now, he tells me he is going to her country, Mexico to visit her. I am trying to deal with the stress without drinking. I know I will just do more stupid stuff and make things worse. I feel betrayed by them both. I was very good to the au pair, treated her and her sister to a cruise, bought her an iPad, let her set her own schedule. I loved her as a daughter. It is hard for me to pretend normalcy and be friendly with him. I feel so hurt by this.

[aihflvt]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

I am sorry to hear this. I feel it would be difficult to offer advice on a problem of this magnitude without being trite. I will say, though, that in my experience, that this is the intended outcome of many of these young women who come to United States to work as au pairs. I have a friend who was one of two men being played by a Czech au pair. After the wife had her removed from their home for having an affair with her husband (man one), she started an email correspondence with my friend (man two), who is a lonely, gullible single man in his fifties (she was in her early twenties), used him to move her across the country to LA where she promptly dumped him once she was comfortably settled into her lifestyle there. I have firsthand knowledge several other homewrecking au pairs. There is usually one of two outcomes. The angry wife kicks out the cheating husband and sues him for every penny he's worth, or digs in, kicks the au pair out and keeps the husband on a short leash under the threat of outcome number one.

Again, I am very sorry to hear this happening to yet another family.

[greeneyes]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Xwino, I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I'm sure you feel angry, hurt, betrayed, etc and understandably so. You have some serious navigating to do from this very moment forward. You REALLY need to have your wits about you. Don't drink. You can do it. Take control of your life and make good choices for yourself and your kids. Stay AF. You know all about the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html, right? People here have lost jobs, spouses, buried children, and remained sober. You can too. There's lots of support here. Put your big girl pants on.

[Kradle123]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

X-
I second and third aihflvt. And really what came to mind reading your situation was Arnold Swarzenagger...
What a terrible thing for your husband to do. What a fucking asshole !
:mad-door:
However, like Arnold I have no doubt that your dearly departed husband ( and good riddance) will have his cumupance... And I'm a conservative. shame on him
And good for you for seeking help. I think you wil find a really tender, supportive community here with good thoughts and sound insight...Welcome :l:l

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Thanks. I am trying not to be weak. Trying not to listen to my addictive voice. If I give in now, I will later too and never kick this. I am taking something to escape through sleep. My husband is here as he is every weekend while I am trying to pretend normalcy. I know all I want is to drink and release my anger.

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

I will stay here and keep reading.

[Yogamom]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Hi - I am new here and just getting my AF days but i just want u to know we area here to listen. I don't know how u stand him in the house with u. That must be miserable. How old are your children? They deserve better.

[littlepinkcat]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

hi xwino, yep staying here is a safe option

[littlepinkcat]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

hi yogamom

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

My children are four. I just drank cooking wine! I am so weak! I will probably drink it all. I am hating myself right now!

[littlepinkcat]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Xwino: its good that you have came to this site and started to admit u have an issue with alcohol, how would you feel about pouring the cooking wine down the sink and making a nice cuppa with a biccie?

[FreeFly]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Hello WineX

My heart goes out to you. What a horrid situation you're going through right now. You're the strong one in this looking after the little ones whilst feeling (and yes, being) betrayed AND trying to stay away from alcohol. I'm not surprised at all you had a little cooking wine. Please don't beat yourself up. Like Pinkcat says, maybe swap it for a cuppa now? I have no doubt you'll come out on top of this situation. It may take a little hindsight but you'll get there. Sending you an enormous cyber hug :l:h

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Thanks LittlePinkCat. I know I should. I am sitting here questioning my husband and he is admitting all like details of their sex life and he told me one time when I almost caught them. I am just asking to be hurt. The wine has me feeling woozy. Yes and I have to say less hurt. I need to take something and sleep.

[littlepinkcat]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

hopefully ur taking something natural for ur sleep, medication nd cooking wine r not a good mix, im sure u know this already.

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

I didn't even know I had the cooking wine. I was looking for snacks for the kids and spotted it. Drinking it reminds of catching my grandfather drinking rubbing alcohol. I pray not to stoop to that. Right now I am feeling less pain. I pray to stop at this. Alcohol has cost me and it will end me. I know that!