Husband Slept With Au Pair

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Well what happened is I drank 40 ounces of beer and he thought I was out and sleep. I wasn't and I went downstairs to talk to this girl as he admitted he was talking to her tonight on Skype. It was an argument and he said he was leaving. This is one of the things that bothers me, he will leave me with the kids even though it's his weekend. So, I told him go get me more alcohol before he leaves. He is going to do it. He can't take the kids without borrowing my car. I feel that money he spent to visit MexiHo should go to buy him a new car. Why should I have to loan him my car for him to take his own kids?

[greeneyes]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

XWino, I think that as long as you continue to drink, you will have difficulty making choices that are in your and your children's best interest.

[planetjanet]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

XWino,

I just happen to come across your thread and just wanted to say my heat breaks that you have to endure this. I agree with the advice that people are giving you here and it's true that once you decide to stop drinking, trust me you are going to be thinking alot more rationally. You are going to realize that what your husband is doing is so "self absorbed". He's cheating has nothing to do with you, it has to do with him. I know right now it seems as though you think it's you, but it's not and one day you will see it. Do you have any close friends and/or better yet a family member who can be by your side during this tough time?

TRY to get some AF (alcohol free) days in you and cry as much as needed and beat a pillow as many times you like but PLEASE work on breaking that habit of leaving it up to drinking to do your thinking. You know, it's a true statement, it will make your situation WORSE if you continue to drink. You need to be cleared headed for you kids because they are going to need you and most importantly you will need to be sober for YOURSELF.

I hope that today you are feeling somewhat okay and please make today a day to nurture those wounds and start to set yourself up with getting some healthy liquids in you to restore your body from all those alcohol toxins....yuck!!

Anywho, please take care of yourself and keep us posted.

Hugs,
Janet
AF Day 31

[RingingCedars]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

planetjanet;1328285 wrote: XWino,

I just happen to come across your thread and just wanted to say my heat breaks that you have to endure this. I agree with the advice that people are giving you here and it's true that once you decide to stop drinking, trust me you are going to be thinking alot more rationally. You are going to realize that what your husband is doing is so "self absorbed". He's cheating has nothing to do with you, it has to do with him. I know right now it seems as though you think it's you, but it's not and one day you will see it. Do you have any close friends and/or better yet a family member who can be by your side during this tough time?

TRY to get some AF (alcohol free) days in you and cry as much as needed and beat a pillow as many times you like but PLEASE work on breaking that habit of leaving it up to drinking to do your thinking. You know, it's a true statement, it will make your situation WORSE if you continue to drink. You need to be cleared headed for you kids because they are going to need you and most importantly you will need to be sober for YOURSELF.

I hope that today you are feeling somewhat okay and please make today a day to nurture those wounds and start to set yourself up with getting some healthy liquids in you to restore your body from all those alcohol toxins....yuck!!

Anywho, please take care of yourself and keep us posted.

Hugs,
Janet
AF Day 31

Sage advice Janet and very well done on your 31 days!
I hope you are being kind to yourself XXXWino. This is a most difficult time for you and your family and your strength will be seriously diminished by drink escape as has been said. Sending you virtual strength and calm. :l

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Well hit my rock bottom. Drank 24 beers then rubbing alcohol. Had lost six pounds. Dehydrated looked horrible. I pray this will stop me. Thinking of ordering Antabuse.

[mama bear]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

rubbing alcohol.?????..please order AB...please

[K9Lover]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

XW-
PLEASE be careful with what you are ingesting, that's so dangerous! We don't want anything bad to happen to you...and neither do your kids. :h

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

I ordered Ab, but they are saying three weeks. Can I even last till then?

[caper564]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Hi Xwino,
the AB will save you but in the meantime you need to not consume so much. try to limt yourself to 1 type of AL if you can. i stopped vodka. wow vodka was my deviil. rubbing AL sounds really bad. i'm not sure what to say. its terrible and even though i have stopped for a few months if i was in your situation i am not sure if i would have handled it any differently... don't beat yourself up about it. we are all human after all. try to focus on the future and what lies ahead. you can't change the past BUT you can make a nicer, brighter tomorrow.

your stronger than you think
caper

[Yogamom]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Oh XW, Is there anyone that you can lean on? Is there a doc where u can antabuse sooner? You need to do this for u and for your kiddos. You need to find the strength that is in you and it is. We are hear to listen and encourage you. Please stay close nd next time u want to drink come on hear instead.

[NinaFaye]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

So this is probably pretty presumptuous since I haven't even been on these boards for long, but I feel so strongly for you and am worried and want to include my two cents, if you're willing to hear it. I am a mother too, and I know for a fact that your kids are better off with you on this earth, in their lives. Forget about the shame, forget about the 3 weeks you'll have to wait for the AB, and check yourself in to a hospital. At the very least, it will force you to stop drinking for the moment. You can worry about the rest later. I know you're scared and that you don't want your husband or your children or (probably) anyone else to know how serious this problem is, but please trust me that that is nothing compared to the pain your children would feel if you weren't around. Do whatever you have to do to get through this with your health and your life intact.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please remember that you are worth so much in this world, and that it's not your fault if someone else doesn't see it. It will all come to light in time. It will...I promise. Your children need you--even a flawed, battered version of you--more than they need anyone else. As they grow older, they will realize that parents are people too, and they will admire your strength.

I wish you strength, encouragement, and peace.

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Thanks all. I can't say much I am staying with my sister and she watches me like a hawk. I had two hospital visits for dehydration and anxiety. No alcohol in four days, but I have Ativan which can become a problem in it self. I really had a mental breakdown. The journey back will be long. I need to stay strong until my Ab comes.

[Running4life]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

Hi XWino, I have been through a horrible time with my husband too. It feels so good to drink and unleash the anger but it only feels good while you are drinking. The problems are still there the next day. You need to be thinking clearly and making some smart choices for yourself and your children. Drinking will not help you make these choices, it will just cloud your judgement.
Right now self care is the most important thing. You must look after yourself. It is common in this situation for women to blame themselves. He is the one who chose to be unfaithful not you. He is the one with the character defect. Put the cooking wine away and treat yourself to something really nice like a bath or a movie. Go out and buy yourself a spiffy new outfit or get your nails and hair done.
I know it is rough and it feels awful but you can get through this and it is best to get through it sober.
Take care and keep posting! R4L

[XWino]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

I was having extreme anxiety thinking of my husband returning from his trip from Mexico with the au pair. I was on the verge of getting the isopryl alcohol. I am not really a praying person, but did and feel stronger. I am feeling more hopeful. I will work some of the tools and offer others advice. I cannot wait for my Ab to get here.

[IAD]

Husband Slept With Au Pair

"Au Pair of what !?! Ha!" Sorry to hear about your situation......you need to get her out of the house so you can get straightened out with your marriage. Good luck. Tony