Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

[SAUSAGE]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Thanks everyone, I survived the day and now I'm on day 106.

I think my husband doesn't realise the extent of my problem and how hard it is to quit.
Maybe he doesnt want to "see" it because then he may have to relate it to himself.
I'm genuinely baffled as to his own drinking pattern, he generally drinks every day minimum of half bottle of wine, sometimes more, occasionally spirits also ( which have never interested me) however he is very religious and is able to abstain for Lent ( so he can't be that dependent can he?) When I started this quit it was end of February and Lent had just started, - him not drinking really helped in the early days, but once Lent was over he picked up his drinking where he left off and wanted me to drink too ( I started a thread about this at the time).

He genuinely doesn't seem to grasp that it is an "all or nothing" thing for me. I cannot just drink on special occasions and weekends, once I start again I crave the stuff every day and it is making me feel miserable and unhealthy.

I am sad that he doesn't support me but I am determined to keep going. Last time I quit in 2008/09 I constantly went on to him about why he wouldn't support me, stop drinking ( at least during the week) too. He never seems drunk, obviously is used to it. However he just does spend the evenings sipping wine watching TV. This time I deliberately haven't talked to him about his drinking, just let him get on with it,the other night was the first time in weeks I'd discussed it.

I want more ot of life than than being dominated by alcohol. I am a busy mum and I work part time, as my kids get older I want to go further professionally, i have limited spared time and I dont want to throw it all away drinking. It is a waste of money, calories and makes me feel rubbish the morning after. It also puts me in a constant cycle of anxiety and depression, but most importantly I lose my motivation to do anything else once I've taken that first sip.

The biggest changes for me since I quit are;

More money
Better skin.
Less bloating
A small weight loss,
Feel great every morning instead of yucky
More energy,
Better sleep ( after the first month AF)
Improved clarity of thought ( depression and anxiety have lifted)
More motivation to achieve in life

Now why would I want to throw all that away?

One Life Live It - and don't waste it on alcohol!

[Unwasted]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Sausage, you never know...your husband may be questioning his own drinking on some level but not ready to admit it's a problem (or not..........).

Here's something interesting that happened with my husband last weekend. He drinks an occasional (one) beer now that I've quit. He often doesn't drink at all, but when he does, now it's that one and one only. However, we had another couple over for dinner last weekend. She drinks 1-1/2 drinks, is very steadfast in never going over that. I've been with her many times, and she always stops. Sometimes she doesn't drink at all. Her husband only has one kidney, so he drinks nothing alcoholic. Anyway, she has her 1-1/2 (or 2 very small) glasses of wine, and my husband has the rest of the bottle (which was about 2 glasses (I had used some for cooking).

He felt absolutely horrible the next day. Isn't that amazing? His system is not used to wine, and it wrecked him -- that little wine after not drinking much for a good period of time really impacted him. He couldn't believe it.

I tell you all this to relate it to your husband. I know so many people who drink (and I know the drinking makes them feel bad)........but they're just not even close to ever wanting to give it up totally. They can't fathom it, so they sort of just feel funky the next day and go on with their lives because it's not totally debilitating. Some will go on to have a problem and some won't. But do you really think sitting in front of the TV drinking wine every night is a good thing and something your husband aspires to? No, probably not..........he's just in the habit/rut.

Cherish your sobriety, set a good example with no preaching. You never know, he might come around. If not, your life is still good and you're off the roller coaster regardless of what he's doing.

xx,
UN :lilheart:

[Cinders]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Sausage,

I so admire your strength. My daughter is an alcoholic like I am but her husband is like yours. "Just don't drink too much!!"

He refuses to believe that alcoholism exists and is not controllable with moderation.

This makes staying sober very difficult for my girl.

I will tell her about you and how you are doing. It may give her some hope.

Love,
Cindi

[FlyAway]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Maybe he doesnt want to "see" it because then he may have to relate it to himself.

I think that's the answer right there. My husband is into bicycle riding. It's important to him. He logs his rides, comes home and tells me how he felt, how many miles he went, etc. I don't ride but I know it's important to him so I support him, express interest in what he's saying, ask him questions, etc. That's the way I think it should be in a marriage; you support one another. I think for your husband to tell you how great you're doing and all that would make him feel that the spotlight is on him to follow suit.

I don't talk to my husband about my drinking or lack of drinking. He's still drinking and I don't press him to stop. I don't look to him to tell me what a good job I'm doing, I look to me. But I can tell you that if I felt my husband was trying to undermine my sobriety or was talking negatively to me about it, I'd be furious and I wouldn't hesitate to get in his face about it. :l

[Kradle123]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Sausage honey,
Here's a ? Someone asked me once.

What do you call the dumbest guy with the worst bed side manner who graduates at the very bottom of his medical school class?

Doctor......

My father was a doctor and that answered a shitload of questions for me in one fell swoop. And he didn't drink but he was a carbon copy of your husband . Minus the accent of course.

106 Yey Team !

[Beck]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Sausage,

After 2.5 years without a drink my husband says to me on our anniversary "just have a drink, you can control it" I was floored and tried to talk to him about it...but the truth is he has never craved alcohol so he doesn't really understand. It's not that he wants me unwell or wishes me ill. He's a normal drinker and that is his frame of reference.

Remember your truth. When I quit being honest with myself (It wasn't that bad, I can mod, etc.), I get into to relapse mode...and that is a tough place to be - even if I don't take the drink.

Best,

[LibraryGirl]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Well, it hit me today, Sausage. Drinking thoughts are LOOMING LARGE. First I just thought I'd like to barbeque and have a few beers. Later I got really irritated and angry fussing with my bf, and then I REALLY wanted to drink. I went in the grocery store with him behind me and put a six pack in my buggy. Then I just left the store, left the beer. BF put it back. I realize a 6 pack would not be enough. I want to get rip roaring DRUNK. What is wrong with me????:upset::upset::upset::upset:

[mama bear]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

you are an addict sweetie!!
Good on you for putting the beer back. Once it was in my cart, I am not sure I could have done that

[caper564]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

i'm with ya ... the same thoughts are here with me now.. its funny all winter spring no problem.. now its getting warm and BBQ's, patios pool parties, camping (thats a huge one).. UGHHHHH i hate being an alcoholic.. why can't i just be a "normal " drinker. sit and enjoy 1 beer.. ??? but that ship has sailed.

[Byrdlady]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

LibraryG ...there's nothing wrong with you except that this is where we turn when we want to numb up. AL IS our coping mechanism. It's easy to do, requires no effort and you just pass out. Unfortunately, you cannot go thru life this way (trust me I tried). It is hard to face difficulties and sort them out. But I will promise you this now that you are on THIS side of AL....there is NO problem that will be made better by drinking. NONE. They all get worse plus!!! Once you get some months under your belt you will be much better able to see how this works...I had some real tests lately...and NOT one of them would have been improved by drinking. I can't imagine losing my quit...THAT would be the worst problem I can ever imagine!!! Sausage, I'm so proud of you for staying the course. Remember...no matter what and no matter who! Byrdie

[Kaslo]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Hi Sausage, you've done SO well. I am sorry you dont have a supportive and encouraging Hub. They sure come in handy. Its either that they get it and they are totally behind you, or the dont and they are no help at all. It sounds like he drinks too much...

Well, we get it. And we are all behind you 100%

You have so much to lose, and so do your children. Fast forward to when they are in their twenties and they say they are so proud of you for quitting. Mine were really quite young when I was at my worse, and I was so wrong when I thought they were not noticing.

kaslo

[dixon]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Top ten Iron Foods..

Hi,

Just in case if needed....Here are top ten foods which have plenty of irons on them.
Iron is an essential mineral used to transport oxygen to all parts of the body. A slight deficiency in iron causes anemia (fatigue/weakness), and a chronic deficiency can lead to organ failure. Conversely, too much iron leads to production of harmful free radicals, and interferes with metabolism, causing damage to organs like the heart and liver. The body is able to regulate uptake of iron, so overdose is rare and usually only occurs when people take supplements. Iron from natural food sources, like the ones listed below, are considered safe and healthy. While iron is better absorbed from heme (meat) sources, non-heme (plant) iron is better regulated causing less damage to the body. The current percent daily value for iron is 18 milligrams (mg). Below is a list of high iron foods.
#1: Dried Herbs
Long used for medicinal purposes, herbs are packed with nutrients and iron is no exception. Dried Thyme contains the most with 124mg per 100g serving, or 687% of the DV. That is 3.7mg (21% DV) of iron per tablespoon of dried Thyme. It is followed by dried Parsley (11% DV per tblsp), dried Spearmint (10% DV per tblsp), Black Pepper, dried Marjoram, Cumin Seed, dried Dill, dried Oregano, Bay Leaf, dried Coriander, dried Basil, ground Tumeric, ground Savory, Anise Seed, Fenugreek Seed, dried Terragon, dried Chervil, and dried Rosemary (5% DV per tblsp).

#2: Cocoa Powder and Chocolate
Chocolate is showing more and more health benefits and dark chocolate is coming into vogue. In the case of iron it is pure cocoa powder without any cocoa fat, milk, or sugar that provides the most iron with 36mg in a 100g serving, or 200% of the DV. That is 1.8mg of iron per tablespoon of cocao powder, or 10% of the DV. Unsweetened baking chocolate provides 17.4mg per 100g (97% DV), or 23mg (128% DV) per grated cup. Most sweetened milk chocolates will provide around 2.4mg per 100g (13% DV), or 1mg (6% DV) of iron in an average 1.5 ounce bar.


#3: Liver
Liver is a vitamin rich food, and it is packed with iron. In the early 1900s liver was prescribed as a cure for anemia, and as a supplement for pregnant ladies. Duck liver (Foie Gras) provides the most iron with 30.5mg (170% DV) per 100g serving, or 13.4mg (75% DV) per liver. It is followed by pork liver which contains 17.9mg (100% DV) or 15.2mg (85% DV) in a 3 oz serving, chicken liver (72% DV per 100g), turkey liver (67% DV), lamb liver (57% DV), and beef liver (36% DV).

#4: Clams, Oysters, and Mussels
Shellfish can be eaten raw, baked, steamed, fried, or made into chowder. Clams provide the most iron with 28mg (155% DV) per 100g serving, or about 27mg (150% DV) in 10 small clams. Oysters provide 12mg (67% DV) per 100g serving, or 5mg (28% DV) in 6 medium sized oysters. Mussels provide 6.72mg (37% DV) per 100g, or 5.7mg (32% DV) in a 3oz serving.

#5:Roasted Pumpkin and Squash Seeds
A popular food in the Middle East and East Asia pumpkin and squash seeds contain about 15mg (83% DV) of iron per 100g serving, 20.7mg (115% DV) per cup, and 4.2mg (23% DV) in a 1 ounce serving of about 142 seeds. If you can't find these in your local supermarket you will surely find them in Middle Eastern or East Asian specialty stores. Alternatively, you can also save any pumpkin and squash seeds you have and dry them yourself. The dried seeds contain more iron than roasted, so try to find dried if possible.
Buy Squash Seeds from Amazon.com

#6: Sesame Butter (Tahini) and Seeds
Sesame butter, also called Tahini, is a common ingredient in the Mediterranean dish Hummus. Toasted Sesame seeds provide 14.8mg (82% DV) of iron per 100g serving, or 4.1mg (23% DV) per ounce. Sesame Butter provides 8.95mg of iron (50% DV) per 100 gram serving, or 1.3mg (7% DV) per tblsp.

#7: Caviar (Fish Eggs)
Caviar is most often eaten as hors d'oeuvres, garnishes, or spreads, and is more affordable than people think. 100 grams of caviar will provide 11.9mg (66% DV) of iron, 3.3mg (19% DV) per ounce,and 1.9mg (11% DV) per tblsp.
. Buy Caviar from Amazon.com

#8: Sun Dried Tomatoes
Sun Dried Tomatoes are delicious in a sandwich or as an ingredient in pasta sauce. 100 grams (about 2 cups) will provide 9.1mg or 51% of the DV. One cup will provide 4.9mg (27% DV), and one piece will provide 0.2mg (1% DV) of iron.

#9: Sunflower Seeds
Sunflower seeds are the number one source of vitamin E, and a good source of thiamin, and magnesium. Sunflower seeds provide 5.3mg (29% DV) of iron per 100 gram serving, or 7.4mg (41% DV) per cup.


#10: Dried Apricots
Most common as a snack, dried apricots can also be chopped and served in a salad. A good source of Vitamin A and potassium, apricots provide 6.3mg (35%DV) of iron per 100g serving (about 20 dried apricots), or 7.5mg (42% DV) of iron per cup.

Dixon

[So over it]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Hi sausage,
Don't listen to that silly lady! It's awful when someone put the suggestion / thought to you.
But don't act on it!
Your doing amazingly and I wish I had as many days under my belt as you!

[dixon]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

So over it;1331860 wrote: Hi sausage,
Don't listen to that silly lady! It's awful when someone put the suggestion / thought to you.
But don't act on it!
Your doing amazingly and I wish I had as many days under my belt as you!

Hi So over it ,

Just a curiosity ,how many sober days have you made ?
You signature shows only goals that's why ...
Thanks
Dix

[Kradle123]

Drinking thoughts, please sort me out somebody !!

Hi everyone,
I ment to check in earlier but long day, big yawn.

Anyway i really wanted to comment on this thread because today hi had a true blue break through AH AH MOMENT about why I get the 'I want a drink now' thoughts.
My daughters dance studio is selling advertising to local business for their parade float this July and as one of the parents, well we are helping y going to local business 's and trying to sell the signs. So off I go into a shop I go to all the time and they know us well and love my kids and my dog and I am just getting so kfricken worked up about asking them to support our troupe! I mean I am going thru every rejection scenario in the book and getting more and more uptight and BOOM - it suddenly seems like a great idea to have a drink. Right now would be good.

Well, I go in and chat with the owner and she says sure she'd love to and in fact she'll buy two!!
And so now iI am thrilled because this is so great! The girls will be thrilled too and I am really really happy and singing and dancing, yahoo and then...BOOM, it occurs to me that I would really like a drink as in right fricken now!

So as I pull away from the shop and out into traffic it suddenly hits me how bizarre it is that happy or upset I still want to drink and then it really hits me BOOM! -It's the emotional extremes that are killing me that are pushing me right over the edge.
This may seem super obvious to some of you but it really wasn't to me. I always thought in terms of sad or mad or glad never about The Intensity of those feelings just the feelings themselves.

I just went right home and put everything away and got tea and laid down. Then I was fine...
So maybe this is nothing but it sure felt like something.
Sleep tight all. :l