I am in big trouble

[Saroo]

I posted hello again on general discussion but really need to post here. I am drinking a bottle of wine, sometimes two (and on the weekend two and a half - nearly blacked out) every second day. This has been going on since my dad had his foot amputated due to diabetes five months ago. I though I was ok, in control, just self medicating blah blah but this weekend I realised I was not in control. I'm scared to tell my dr cause I know I should not be drinking with the bipolar meds. I am just spiraling out of control and it's the drink not the bipolar - if I don't drink for say five days im teeth grindingly stressed and anxious and I sweat a lot - this is new to me - so its just so hard knowing how to take the first step - I've forgotten how to not drink and it feels like this time my body has too. Any advice much appreciated. Roo

[Supercrew]

I am in big trouble

It sounds like you know what you have to do. Start getting healthy.

You can't really forget how not to do something. You just don't do it....no matter what. Start today, and no matter what don't do it, then start again tomorrow with the same plan. Before you know it, not doing it will seem like you've never done it.

[Cashregister]

I am in big trouble

Thanks supercrew wise words -I forgot this was my original nickname so logged in using one I remembered from another bb - guess I have never let myself go like this before and you are right I do know what I have to do, it's just everything's warped right now - especially my thinking - just here for a friendly shove and good people to talk to - and hopefully to be able to help others the way I've been helped here in the past - eventually

[LibraryGirl]

I am in big trouble

I do know what you mean cashy. I felt like I'd forgotten how to quit when I came here too. You get into a pattern, habit, self-destruction--you name it, and the days just stack up, and no positive changes made. I did this. Sounds like what you've been doing too. This is a great place to get help and get on the right track. I suggest taking it one day at a time, and racking up the daily goals (of not drinking). Try posting in the Newbie's Nest under "Just Starting Out". Lots of people in similar situations, and others with experience, ready and willing to help.:l

[RedThread12]

I am in big trouble

So happy to see you here, Saroo. Yes, like LG says, check in with others "Just Starting Out;" find the Tool Box thread (can someone post that link?); drink lots ad lots of water . . . even Gatorade or Vitamin Water, with some electrolytes. L-Glutamine REALLY helped and continues to help me. You've overcome a lot just to get here. You CAN do this!!!

[Cashregister]

I am in big trouble

Spot on Librarygirl I have lost the plot after quite a good few years it has snuck up on me and I need to tackle it in a new way - I never had so many consequences of drinking before - no withdrawal at lest not like this and my liver function bloods came back just fine two weeks ago - have them regularly cause of lithium. But I have forgotten some of the most basic things to control both the alcohol and the mental illness - sometimes I think I have one subconscious death wish - I mean I know that whatever else I do that bipolar lurks here, mania in particular - and I can never give that up so I think something deep inside says what's the point - oh not getting this across well and dont want to sound too negative - I do want to stop I really do - have to keep telling myself the bipolar will at least get less bad without alcohol.

[Cashregister]

I am in big trouble

Thanks redthread I have been downing water ith fresh lemon juice this morning and have some electrolyte icy poles my daughter has when sick that I can use. Thanks so much for the much needed words of support guys I will look up that link and see about the l- glutamine xxx

[LibraryGirl]

I am in big trouble

Good job, cashy. Sorry, didn't mean to sound patronizing earlier. I didn't realize you were not a newbie. Well, it never hurts to catch up, does it?

LG

[RedThread12]

I am in big trouble

Hey, LG: You don't sound patronizing at all, to me. And apparently, not to Cash either. I appreciate your prompt response to a new poster. Which maybe Cash is, and maybe Cash isn't , but that really doesn't matter, huh? We are ALL newbies when we're staring into Day 1. The number of times we've been there really doesn't matter, IMHO. Like Cash, I thank you for your support. It's THIS day that matters. Always.

[Wagoneer]

I am in big trouble

Welcome back Cashy. You can do this. You are on the right track. We are all one drink away from day one. Get healthy and stick around!

Waggy

[Cashregister]

I am in big trouble

Not at all patronizing more like me being embarrassed lol

[Cashregister]

I am in big trouble

Haha maybe I am and maybe I ain't I am surely new in my desire to cut down the booze - again I think you are all amazing!