It's me Ann 221

[Struggles 106]

Guys
Please help. I am very depressed and ashamed
AGAIN
I did exactly what I did not want to do-got drunk
and stupid with my daughter here. In true
post-drinking shame and depression constantly crying
I hate this shit and I hate myself

If anyone can say something, or send me good wishes
it might help

Thanks

[Doggygirl]

It's me Ann 221

Hi Ann. I'm so sorry that you are struggling. I know all too well the guilt, shame and remorse that come with drinking. Been there done that 'til the hole was pretty darn deep. :l

I hope you can stay focused on the here and now. There is no point agonizing over yesterday - nothing we can do to change it. What we CAN do is make a choice RIGHT NOW to just do the right thing - right now.

If you are drinking now or if you have AL in your house can you dump it down the drain?

When you are ready, can you make a written plan for how you will improve this time in your effort to get sober? Is there anything you might be willing to try now that you were previously unwilling to try?

The only way to fail is to stop trying.

DG

[jessie]

It's me Ann 221

Hi Ann, been there, done it myself many times, but are slowly winning the fight. You can do it to. Have you tried the medicines available? They can help a lot. You can win this.

Blessings.

[planetjanet]

It's me Ann 221

Hi Ann,

I too, agree with the posts and very well written advice too. Try not to beat yourself up and trust me it will get better and time will past. However, my experience has been that if I continued to drink, it wouldn't get better for me and drinking would never let be in the present, just always in the past.. Make sense?

Anywho, I hope you feel better and you CAN do this....

[FarfallaP]

It's me Ann 221

Hi Ann,

I am just sending you good wishes, to go along with the good ideas from others have posted. Also, fortunately most of the time most of our children have forgiven us our errors, so all is not lost...

FF

[Wildflowers]

It's me Ann 221

Hello Beautiful Lady,

I took a little walk back in time as it hasn't been very long that I remember those days of guilt, shame, regrets. The ones where I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. The inner critical voices I'd hear, even on the days I didn't drink. The shadow of a person I was & still am sometimes. The masks I'd wear, all the facades I'd play. What I've learned on my journey, still learning is to love & nurture myself!...

I've learned that those voices are lies, they are triggers that want me to drink, to numb myself. Feelings of inadequacy. They come from many places & experiences in my life, but today I fight back & allow them to have much less power over me. I practice each day loving & nurturing myself, finding value with whom I am, right where I am, at this moment in time. When others try to hurt me, control me, I don't allow it. This includes my own critical voice, I tell it to shut the feck up!....

Tomorrow the sun will rise & it will be a new day! You are a strong, smart, beautiful & capable Woman Ann!.... You will start your sobriety over again & get back all your days & more!!!..... If your daugher is half as good, kind, beautiful & as smart as her Mother she will forgive you. I know my two daughters have offered their Mother this grace many times! You are very lovable!!!.... You will be OK, & then you will be even better then OK very soon!

Love, :h

Wildflowers :l

PS. Drink water, eat a little, be extra kind, patient & gentle with yourself!. You are worth it & you deserve it!!!......

[mama bear]

It's me Ann 221

hugs Ann!!!!!
can you talk to your daughter??

[patrice]

It's me Ann 221

Hi Ann
Wonderful words from your friends
Its all ok, just keep going
Hi Mama seen you a lot on the boards.. love your posts
take care
Patrice x

[mama bear]

It's me Ann 221

thx Patrice.....I post where I can......so many misereable peeps coz of AL

[DriftyAlison0]

It's me Ann 221

Been there and done that once too many times so I know what your going through Ann. Just learn where you made your mistake and don't do it. I know that you can do this Ann. If you can make it as far as you did, you can not only get to that point again, but also go further.

One thing that hindered my quitting in the past and caused me to fail at both quitting and modding in the past that I didn't tell anyone in the outside world about my plan. This time I told and it has proven to be a huge difference in this quit (although I know that I can not mod).

[paula]

It's me Ann 221

Ann, hope your feeling better, I know just how bad you feel, because I have been there so many times. Once you manage to get some sober days behind you all this will seem like a bad dream.

[Struggles 106]

It's me Ann 221

THANKS!

I'm going to persevere and keep going. I am so sick and tired of this crap I could just scream. Like the coward that I am I am going to talk to my daughter about all this via email after she leaves on Thursday.

I was supposed to go out of town this weekend but I can't go. I can't go and be around drinking people right now, antabuse or not. I need to stay home, start my exercise plan and get he house straightened up from company. Back to work and the real world Monday.

Of course I had to buy expensive wine and champagne at my daughter;s congratulatory dinner the other night, and pick up the tab for $500. Oh yeah big mouth big spender dumb ass! Absolutely sick of it

[Raven2012]

It's me Ann 221

Oh Ann, please don't hate yourself. My children have seen me in all kinds of situations and its amazing how understanding they are. Way more so than adults. Please reach out to your daughter and let her know sincerely how you feel. I don't know how old she is but between the age of 12-14 my parents went through a separation and divorce and I began to see the frailties of both of them. At that age (and I'd say even about age 8) there is compassion for a parent. The shared history you have and the love you've given set a foundation for you to level with her and - I wouldn't go into too much detail but just say something along the lines of "the last few months have been hard and I should have probably given you a greater priority than I did"

Chances are she'll say, "Oh, I understand Mom and I know you love me"

Just be honest and you'll be forgiven. Don't beat yourself up. Guarantee you your little girl isn't

[Struggles 106]

It's me Ann 221

Thanks Raven and everyone

I am writing her an email today. She is 23, and she will understand. I can see that after spending a week with her that she is not a big drinker at all. There was a time when I worried about that.
She is a wonderful young woman and I know she loves me very much. I am very proud of the person she has become.
SO I'll have a week tomorrow and I know I'll be OK. I promised myself that after her visit I would do some things that have needed doing, and I am proceeding on that path.

Thanks everyone for always being here.

[Wildflowers]

It's me Ann 221

I will second what Mollers is saying. I sensed there was some good fight in you Ann! That you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps! That you won't let the beast win!... I've had to do it many ~ many times myself. I'm thankful there has been good people to help me, when I was down!

I've worried about my own two daughters drinkin to. I think sometimes my own problem has been their blessing. I know they don't have a problem with the drink & am very grateful!... I feel very blessed & lucky that my girls have generous, loving hearts & have forgiven their Mama, for her drunkin behavior in the past. They both know it wasn't the real me!

We ladies are all so very fortunate to have lovely young daughters, who love their Mothers! We have & our finding our way out, of the crazy madness, the alcohol beast. I'm proceeding on the path with healthier & reasonably happier livin too.

Take Care, :h

Wildflowers :l