Hi Everybody, new here

[K9Lover]

Hi Everybody, new here

Hi AlmostFree,

I've had more Day 1's than I can count. You are definitely not alone in this. You only fail when you quit trying, so the fact that you're still here shows that you haven't given up. You CAN do this. I have to ask you, did the wine make you feel better? Did the wine change whatever situation you were in? I'm betting the answer to both questions is no. All it did was make you feel WORSE. Sure, it numbs you for a while, but then you come to and your problems are still there, only now you have a hangover as well. I was finally able to quit when drinking became harder than not drinking.

Pick yourself up and start over...you haven't lost the battle. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

K9

[almost free]

Hi Everybody, new here

Hi K9,

Am starting day 2. Got up feeling really shaky and panicky. Don't know why. I wish there was some logic governing why we go out. I just remember being overwhelmed with fear, despair, panic, loneliness. My perception was all twisted. I guess I just opted for an 'evening off', which I didn't want to spend crying and hopeless. Well, needless to say, the evening ended in the shakes, which necessitated the ongoing bender. You know how it somehow just has to run its course....The curious thing is that many times, I had been driving along, during my two years of sobriety, with nothing particular or bad going on, everything was fine, and out of nowhere, wham! An almost uncontrollable desire for a drink. This is truly a powerful force, and it seems that no amount of suffering is a deterent.

I sometimes remember this old Werewolf movie, where the guy is usually this really nice, wonderful person. Then he sees that the moon is going to be full and he is going to do things that he doesn't want to, but has no control over it. This might be a childish recollection, but I seem to remember something about him wanting to chain himself to the radiator, in order to prevent himself from going out and doing bad things. It feels that way with alcoholism. Sometimes I wish I could prevent myself in some way, since willpower always seems to fail. I'll just try to stay close and stay in touch with people here. Don't know what else to do. I'm so tired of my life revolving around alcohol! Thanks for your kind words, K9

[almost free]

Hi Everybody, new here

Hi Merlot,

I just finished posting a reply to you over on: just starting out> new here> jessy. Hang in there!