My Rock Bottom

[Nelz]

My Rock Bottom

ATSO;1406254 wrote: Just thought I'd mention, I came home empty handed!! This little feeling of success is completely undermined by my guilt and self hatred, but at least I've shown myself that I might just have the capacity to change my life for the better! Have a lovely day all

Rock on! You just gave the beast the first big "who needs ya!"


Very well done, now when the urges hit while home, just find something to do until you forget about it. Just keep at it, you've taken the first step, now build on that, and watch your progress.


Im pulling for ya

[Raven2012]

My Rock Bottom

ATSO,

Good for you! You are so young to recognize a problem. Thats a good thing.

When I was your age, drinking was just about having fun, but what you described sounded like a serious blow to your self esteem. I don't mean to be appearance focused but many times its an outside-in approach. When you see your "best self" in the mirror the girl you see becomes the girl you are. And the confidence radiates all around you. I still find that to be a huge pick me up even now. You feel cherished and taken care of by the most important person in the world, YOU!!

As you grow older the dimensions in your life will become more balanced and more evenly distributed. You'll become a wife, mother, have a career. And you'll balance those aspects and skills accordingly. But at the tender age of 20 or so, much of a girls self esteem lies in her cute girlishness which is why I encouraged you to play that up to the max and get your "best self" back in the spotlight and let those silly boys see you at your most confident and true self. Stay in control ATSO, and stay the course. Raven

[LibraryGirl]

My Rock Bottom

Hi ATSO and welcome. I just wanted to say congrats to you on making it home without your crutch. And that's exactly what it is, a crutch. Learning to do without alcohol is also learning to stand on your own two feet without any artificial help. You sound like an intelligent person and I believe you will succeed on this journey.

Keep posting and stay close to MWO. It really does help!!

LG

[Mick]

My Rock Bottom

Well done ATSO...You came home empty handed.......as Nelz says take it a wee bit at a time...and learn to surf those cravings..it does work..thats what I use :goodjob:

[Kradle123]

My Rock Bottom

ATSO;1406153 wrote: Thank you so much everyone for your advice

Now, although my conscious thoughts are completely disparate from my conscious thoughts of myself growing up, deep down inside nothing has changed. I keep treating myself in the same way that I used to, even though my life is better.

Hi ATSO:

I disagree with you here. From your posts, from the fact you are HERE I would say alot has changed...in your minset which is where all real change needs to start. Your posts are thoughtful, honest, upfront. That's alot. I'm 50 and it took a zillion years to even Think I could start talking about this problem...

The rest you have written there as '"I keep treating myself...' I belive is nothing more than habit. Not to minimise it of course. It's still awful to reconcile. The self loathing especially " I think at least for me, this is the comfort zone. I have had this terrible view of myself for so long and all the evidence (all the drunk evidence) seems to support that..... But in reality I think it's a delision which allows us to keep stuck in the habit of hating ourselves. AL keeps us deluded which if you're trying to forget reality is pretty handy. Except we all know it's not. Pushes us further into the delusion, into the habit.
I think it's Mr. G who has that great tag line from Mark Twain that loosley says Habit must be coaxed down the stairs not thrown out the window..or something like that.

Geting well is a big fat journey and everyone of us is on the road with you. Some go slower, some faster, some bring more clothes or look better in the morning, but we are all moving on down the same road.

Sounds trite I know but sometimes trite can be true.
Stay Close

Hugs and heart

:l:h

PS: Remember that it takes 2 to tango at that party..You were intoxicated and not thinking clealry. What's this guy's excuse????