Welcome all Moms

[scottish lass]

Welcome all Moms

Well done Whitemarsh. I totally agree, the kids do see the changes - my 14 year old, who has never shown a lot of outward affection has been giving us (her sister and I ) big hugs and saying "I love my family"....
K9 - sorry you are without your daughter for the holiday - the girls have requested to live with me and have been here for over 6 weeks now. I love having them here, and I am so enjoying there company, but I had just managed to get used to having some quiet/down time and I have to admit that I do miss it!! I would rather have them with me, but being a single mom full time is a LOT of work indeed!

[Ishybit]

Welcome all Moms

Hi ladies,
I have two girls 11,9. I still lose it on them occasionally but it's not because I'm drunk or hungover! Yay.
Scottish lass, you'll have plenty of time to be alone. They'll be out before you know it! I some times think about that when I'm cleaning the house and getting pissed off that they're so messy.....then I think who cares, I'll have so much time to clean when they're gone!
White marsh, good job onto and through day 4!
K9, stop that smokin #%^%. . Eat!

Have a great day mommas!
Ishy

[Hopeful mom]

Welcome all Moms

Just wanted to say hello ladies. I have struggled for over 5 years now, and I fear AL is going to ruin all my relationships and ultimately kill me. I have 2 children in college and one daughter who is divorced with 2 girls. I really believe that I really want to stop; but something takes over and I go to the store for wine. I usually drink about twice a week, but I get so slammed that I have no memories often. I am going to try baclofen again. You can still purchase online, right? I wonder if I am one of those people who will never be cured? I'd honestly rather die than live this way, but I could never do that to my family. Just lost...

[Wildflowers]

Welcome all Moms

Really happy you started this thread Raven!!!! Mom's need to stick together for support. I think it's so very important!!! Like a co-op of sorts.

My Mom's Mom told me yrs back that it doesn't matter how old your kids get ( think my Mom was 50 ) that they are always your babies. Tho I must admit the teenage daughter yrs, mine didn't want to hang with me. It's understandable from their point of you. Sorta hurt my feelings, but that's OK. My girls are now 27 & 25. We are not just Mom & daughters, best friends & as my first born puts it "confidants."

I'll be stopping in, once in while, or reading a long. Hope that's OK? I remember a couple of their grade school teachers telling me similar things, like my Grandmas, Mom, SIL. How true it is!!!...

This is my first yr without my Baby Bear at home. She seems more upset than I do. Tho, I'm sure I will have a teary moment or two, like about a month ago. :upset: I think it's really because she wants Mama's food. :h

[scottish lass]

Welcome all Moms

True that Ishy! When their dad and I split, we shared the girls - one week with me and one with him - it was so terribly hard, and I worked to try and see the positive so I could survive (and not just drink myself silly which wasn't working DUH!) - and I was able to make it work seeing them 50% of the time - it is just trying to find coping mechanisms for all that gets thrown our way!!

Ishybit;1415015 wrote: Scottish lass, you'll have plenty of time to be alone. They'll be out before you know it! Ishy

I truly am enjoying my sober time with them - the changes are huge, I wish I had done it a while ago (a long while ago), but now I truly appreciate the difference - long may it last..

[bulldog89]

Welcome all Moms

Hi fellow moms!
This is really a nice thread. I have been reading some of these posts and can really relate. It sucks to think of all the events missed due to drunk or hungover days. We don't have to live like that. I am 41 and have three kids,14, 10, and 7. My teen actually spends time with me these days. I LOVE that! I seriously had resigned myself to thinking that we just would not be close, however after maybe 1 week sober she did a total turn around. Our babies need us regardless of their age. Good luck to all and stay strong through the tough holidays!

[TheSunFlower]

Welcome all Moms

I love this thread...and do think it needs to placed somewhere else. I think as Mom's we need to stick together. There is an extra layer of guilt.

As much as I love the men here......there are more women. If you go to an AA meeting....it is more Men. I don't know why....but women still seemed to shamed by this....especially if they are a Mom.

[Raven2012]

Welcome all Moms

Thanks Sunflower,

I appreciate your response. I was replying to another mom and realized that about six moms were on board and thought I might put some feelers out to see if there was interest. Hence the thread here. Indeed, there are a lot of moms that are here. What I'd love to see is if we could put a thread, I don't know maybe in the general discussion, maybe in the newbies nest, the guys forum is in a different spot altogether, but I'd welcome anyones ideas. I agree, this isn't the right spot.

My situation is that I have a six and eight year old. They are the most precious people in the world to me. What I want more than anything is for them to grow to respect and admire their mom - especially my daughter. I had a tough transition to parenthood and discovered the perfect stress reliever, wine! It was legal and completely accepted. But eight years later my little "habit" hasn't stopped.

I'm going to put forward some goals for myself and want anyone who is interested to join me in doing the same. I might need some time to make a plan to be the mom I want to be, a few weeks, maybe even until next year but surely I can do this by then, and I want to work with other moms who want the same. Because I think a lot of moms want that for their kids too. It takes planning and effort, sacrifice and discipline, but I really want to do it this time.

So, does anyone have any suggestions on where to place the thread? I'd also like to have some moms with older kids and those with a long (1 yr+ ) period of sobriety to help us newer moms to join and give support. Thanks, Raven

[Raven2012]

Welcome all Moms

Hopeful mom;1415021 wrote: Just wanted to say hello ladies. I have struggled for over 5 years now, and I fear AL is going to ruin all my relationships and ultimately kill me. I have 2 children in college and one daughter who is divorced with 2 girls. I really believe that I really want to stop; but something takes over and I go to the store for wine. I usually drink about twice a week, but I get so slammed that I have no memories often. I am going to try baclofen again. You can still purchase online, right? I wonder if I am one of those people who will never be cured? I'd honestly rather die than live this way, but I could never do that to my family. Just lost...

Hi Hopeful Mom,

I just saw your post. Are you with your kids for Thanksgiving? You only drink twice a week, I'm not trying to minimize that but you should have enough sober days to have a relationship with your kids. Is something else going on? Is there estrangement in the family that is causing friction in your family? It sounds like you are really hurting. If Baclofen helped before, please put it on your calender to place another order. You can start again. I don't mean to ask so many personal questions but unless there are underlying issues there's no reason why you can't be part of your childrens lives.

Best,

Raven

[SAUSAGE]

Welcome all Moms

Hi Raven

I think this thread is a great idea and I think the best place forit would be General Discussion as this is a pretty "general" thread and it usually has the most activity / people viewing, if you look at the figures.

There are loads of mums out here on MWO, I have a 7 yr old and an 8 yr old and my drinking only accelerated after they were born. The pressures of parenthood are different as you pass throgh different stages,; baby, toddler, young child, teenager even managing "adult" children and their issues / problems. I am sure you will get an overwhelming response and it will become a popular and invaluable thread.

[maddiemadison]

Welcome all Moms

Wow mum's I hear so many similar stories, battles and journey's hear, the challenges we face as mum's and carers often lead us to doubt ourselves probably to the point give of giving ourselves a very hard time for the things we didn't or couldn't or DID Do

But what if we were to celebrate what we did do, have done and tried our best to do, that is a much better mind set to come from. Try to remember by just being a mum and a women you are amazing in so many ways.. Like to see the boys do what we do LOL, (let's not hope their reading this thread), but really how many of you that have partners or remember when you lived with someone and you zoned out, drank or lost your self in booze for long periods of time, did the house function, or stay clean, organised and in relative order?? No that only happens when we function. Hat's off to you mums.

Quick funny story on this, just to recap i've been both AF and then moderating on and off for the last few years, after a good 2-3 years of heavy drinking every day and well after an ok job at moderating (i'm sure their is an abbreviation for that - do share) for the last 4 months the wheels fell off for two weeks. For the amount I drink I was hitting it fairly hard, some days waking up to drinks before I could function and then over to vodka, I know when I drink that the wheels are totally gone. I woke up on Monday with the biggest hangover feeling as we all know how it feels, I couldn't move, yesterday was better and today I looked around the house... Oh my, what a bloody mess... He tried, I will give him that. Today I feel great, well better than yesterday LOL and I put it all back together, well most of it any way

Sometimes we just need to say, we are ok, have our darker side but still ok just the same..

Raven thread for mums is a great idea, they have a forum for guys, maybe we could ask for one to be created for Mums..

[whitemarshmom]

Welcome all Moms

Happy Thanksgiving

Good Morning All Moms and Happy Thanksgiving!

The wellabutrin still seems to be working, as i enter day 4... This is the longest ive gone AL free since my daughter was born... she is 5 now, my son is 8.. I've really been enjoying them these past 3 sober nights, cigarette free also.. My daughter seems so happy, its as if they havent seen their real mom in a long time.. I want that for them, I want that for me! We are all going to my sister in laws for dinner in a couple hours, there will be plenty of drinks flowing, wine beer, mixed, I'm not sure how I'm going to do, I'm not making myself any promises. I do know I have to drive, and I feel that on this wellabutrin, I may just be able to have one or 2 at the most.....I dont really have a craving for AL, or cigarettes.. How is everyone doing?

[Hopeful mom]

Welcome all Moms

Raven2012;1415348 wrote: Hi Hopeful Mom,

I just saw your post. Are you with your kids for Thanksgiving? You only drink twice a week, I'm not trying to minimize that but you should have enough sober days to have a relationship with your kids. Is something else going on? Is there estrangement in the family that is causing friction in your family? It sounds like you are really hurting. If Baclofen helped before, please put it on your calender to place another order. You can start again. I don't mean to ask so many personal questions but unless there are underlying issues there's no reason why you can't be part of your childrens lives.

Best,

Raven

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Yes Raven I am home with my family this Thanksgiving. The estrangement I think is that my husband and children have observed me struggling for several years, and they don't understand why I just don't stop drinking. Its almost like the days that I don't drink, I am trying to make up whatever I did to hurt someone on my binge from the day before. I don't know...just a vicious cycle. I will try Baclofen again and try to be patient for the "switch".

[whitemarshmom]

Welcome all Moms

Hi everyone

I was really enjoying the calling all Moms thread, but it seems to have dried up, just before the Holidays.... I started Wellabutrin last week, and i was able to go 3 days AF up until Thanksgiving, I behaved myself quite well, but did drink a few glasses of Wine.. Friday, I had the kids by myself and they had a friend over, I was bored and basically drank an entire 1.5 Liter bottle of Chardonnay.. Saturday was so much worse.. i had a girlfriend over and we drank and smoked ourselves silly... I dont even remember going to bed, and when i woke, my 5 year old daughter, said you were crazy last night, and you said you wouldnt do that anymore... GUILT TRIP! I think they are learning to use my own guilt against me.... ANYWAY.. weekend over, i didnt drink or smoke on Sunday , Monday or today ( so far) Its almost effortless. ( unless its the weekend) I had hoped when i asked my Dr for wellabutrin, that it would be a little Miracle Pill, and so far it seems to be... I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, basically between 4pm and bed time... and Drinking 1.5 liter bottle of wine a night, so this is a major improvement for me.. I was blacking out every night, and not remembering what i did or said.. I wake up confident, and I dont wonder about the night before, i can think about the new day. I dont know if Wellabutrin will work for everyone, but Im so happy its working for me! I actually have a bottle of wine out on the deck, just sititng there, and i think about opening it each evening , for a brief moment and then the desire goes away, i dont have the anxiety take over and make me reach out for those 1st 2 or 3 glasses of wine..

[K9Lover]

Welcome all Moms

Hi Moms (and Mums)

We definitely need to stick together. It's true that as women we feel even more ashamed of drinking too much, then throw in being a mother and the guilt factor triples! Getting past the guilt was a huge hurdle for me. I finally realized that no amount of guilt can change the past, the only thing I could do was make it better from NOW ON. The guilt will fade and our children can get past it too. My daughter used to tell me "You were acting weird last night"...and of course I'd have no recollection and I wasn't about to ask what I was doing! All we can do is never quit quitting. Most of us here did not succeed on our first (or 50th, in my case) try...but we CAN succeed. Hang in there everyone and stick close for support!

K9