Welcome all Moms

[MaryGoRound]

Welcome all Moms

I am a mom (mum as my husband calls me) and I am with you. - actually I am with all of us. Look... There is nothing we can do about yesterday but our kids need us for tommorow. Dare I say there could be something in our life experience that can help our children? Ok...maybe we just need to get to through tomorrow in one piece and we can think about experiences at a latter date.

[whitemarshmom]

Welcome all Moms

Cunning, Baffling and Powerful

How is everyone doing?

Ive been on the Wellabutrin for 2 weeks tomorrow, and Ive been able to go 2 even 3 days without smoking or drinking.. But on the 3rd or 4th day, i weaken and cave. I didnt drink or smoke on Sunday or Monday. Tuesday while putting up Xmas decorations with the kids, i became immensely frustrated and opened that 1.5 bottle of wine and drank all but 2 glasses it, plus i had a couple cigarettes, I cant really do one without the other.. I still dont have the anxiety , thankful the Wellabutrin is keeping that at bay.... Well last night we had Basketball practice, i hadnt made anything for dinner, drove thru mcdonalds drive thru for kids.... Came home, finished last 2 glasses of wine and then remembered little pony bottles of Chardonnay, in the cooler on the deck from Saturday! ( i thought i had drank them) much to my delight, there they were. Drank them down.. Considered sneaking out to the garage in search of DH.. Bourbon or Brandy, but i had to get the kids to bed..We read and fell asleep together, but i still regret the drinking, because I know if I had had more, it would be gone, and I would have woke up this morning, not remembering, and my kids would say i was crazy,, I DONT WANT THAT ANYMORE I was able to sneak a couple cigarettes while they were in the basement playing with their dad.. So, here I am today, and already thinking about tonight.. Im out of wine, and Im going to keep it that way at least for today..

[MaryGoRound]

Welcome all Moms

I lost my previous post so I will give the Reader Digest version.

When I had kids (currently boy 15 yrs. and girl 13 yrs.) i felt I hade to "spilt" myself. My husband had the high power career, travel, and opportunity. I felt lucky (and conflicted) when I took a back seat role. I am "lucky" I had the choice and I am very grateful.

In my case, I continued to work as a hobby. Sometime it was full time VP stuff but we always knew who was leading the family. To my husband's credit, he left a promising career so we would not have to constantly move. So it was a joint effort.

The problem is I lost myself in the split. I could not truly give to my kids what they needed because I was trying to pick up the lost prices or the maybe the remaining pieces of my personality. Fortunately, the remaining pieces were found in an induced alcoholic cover.

I love being a mom. My dreams of my children started well before they were conceived. I cherished being pregnant, and I loved being a mom...BUT...it can be hard work. We have four human beings in a house were we all have very different needs. I want to show them, really show, them who I am (i.e not a loser!) I must get the monkey off my back. My primary gateway is Balcofen but I am also using yoga, diet, AA and and any other opportunity to get me going in the right direction.