Almost...I feel for you completly and I think I can understand some of your concerns and issues. AL drives us to do things we would never normally do and also it affects our moods and reactions. It has been said before, but loneliness, boredom etc. can be real triggers. Especially if you are somewhere new and feeling isolated. I can understand that. Being away from family and friends and having to deal with new environments do not help our addiction. But I sense from your messages that you have a real sense of hope and drive. Please hold onto that hope and optimism. I lost everything I had to AL - my wife, daughter, job, home...all gone because of my addiction, but I haven't given up hope that I can try to recover...and you shouldn't give up either.
Everyone else has given wonderful advice...much better than I could give...I am still trying to get through day 2 AL free...but there is a fantastic support community here and you are not alone in this struggle - the only thing I can offer is that please don't give up, don't lose the hope, take it a day at a time and when things get difficult...just post something here. I ramble a lot on here, but it does help...and everyone is here to help.
Deep inside, you know that you are stronger than the bottle...reach for that strength and reach out to everyone here.
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