Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

[XWino]

...and what do I do after remembering it? I had to drink to forget about it. I polished off two of those large bottles of wine in probably 20 hours. I drank the first large bottle in less than five hours. No wonder I am so nauseas. Now, I am sober, anxious and nervous. I did not curse or anything to her, just..yada, yada, yada. Stupid! Rambling! But at least the spelling was correct. Now, I am pacing the floor and berating myself! Praying and praying. I am so sick of alcohol. If anything good comes of this, it would be that this is my rock bottom and I stop drinking. Right now I hate it. It is going to ruin me. Why can't I see it is the cause of most of my problems?

[Kradle123]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

XWino;1438900 wrote: ...and what do I do after remembering it? I had to drink to forget about it. I polished off two of those large bottles of wine in probably 20 hours. I drank the first large bottle in less than five hours. No wonder I am so nauseas. Now, I am sober, anxious and nervous. I did not curse or anything to her, only asked if she would converse with me regarding some issues I was having at work and that I knew my supervisors have said negative things about me, but I was not a trouble maker and I could tell her the names of people who could vouch for my character...yada, yada, yada. Stupid! Rambling! But at least the spelling was correct. Now, I am pacing the floor and berating myself! Praying and praying. I am so sick of alcohol. If anything good comes of this, it would be that this is my rock bottom and I stop drinking. Right now I hate it. It is going to ruin me. Why can't I see it is the cause of most of my problems?

Hi X:l

You do see it as the catalyst fr most of your problems...that's why you are posting we all see it and the journey out starts there. Congratulations you are on your way:goodjob:

I know it doesn't feel that way because of the email but...here's a story I remember reading from thecThread, "You know you're an AL when.." So it seems this person imbibed and wrote a long email to her boss quitting her job! But here's the best part...or worst part really...when she got up the next morning she completelybFORGOT she had quite her job and so off she went to work!! ops:

She did manage to smooth it all over and keep her job but she was laughing about it now. Wasn't laughing at the time I'm sure.

So you see we've all done it. I bet your 3rd level Supervisor has a tale or two.

Try to get some sleep. Deep breaths. Warm washcloth always helps. Pile on some blankets and drift off...

Stay close and sleep well. This will pass,
:l

[stella123]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

Oh x it's the worst feeling in the world, I have been there many times here's hoping you can get over it and stay AF
Good luck x

[Change]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

I have done similiar and worse, including contacting a colleague on Facebook while drunk.

You could write it off as work-stress and then pull a serious face and say, seriously, i need to talk to you. This is affecting my life. Could we make a time to meet?

[Cleo63]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

I know how you feel. I tend to be way too honest when drinking and then regret it the next day. It's a horrible feeling. Try to turn it into a positive and make changes for the better...you can do it! Good luck

[Wildflowers]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

I think today, right now, you do see alcohol as the main problem. Hopefully, your last drunk to. I've heard it's a good sign if you remember how bad the consequences are from the last one is. Or for my stubborn self many of them.

You may also need to learn new ways of handling your thoughts, emotions that effect how you cope, so that you don't drink from life's problems & stresses. I use to find liquid courage in the bottle, it was my voice for a long time.

We don't have control over others, only ourselves. I know it's not fair, but this is reality. Punishing yourself with negative thoughts then drinking to forget, getting even, then feck it, then can't remember, then I hate myself. Then drink to forget what happened. Oh gawd, I lived this way for so long..... Or maybe this was just some of us & not you.

I drank for all kinds of reasons & none at all. Of course this is just one very long book for myself.... Can't forget all the rainbow, lollipop & sunshine books in my library. :H Probably a bad time to try & make you laugh, but I'm trying to think of something to help. Do you have to wait until Mon. to see your boss?

I'm telling you life without alcohol isn't perfect, but it's a million times better this way. I really mean this!.... You can get sober & stay sober if you choose to.

I pray that tonight you know your not alone, you will survive this. You will have a job & even if you don't, this is your wake up call. In all honesty hun from what you've written, I don't think you have to much to worry about, unless there's history of poor performance. Maybe you can white lie a little, smoochze up. It sucks, but sometimes playing politics is what we have to do, to save are own butts.

No matter, be grateful you have another shot at life.

Alcohol isn't going to ruin you! You are now an XWino ~ consider yourself lucky & grateful!

You can deal with what's going to happen sober, we will help guide you & support you. :l

I just read Change's reply & agree. Give your super sometime to digest your e-mail. You do have a right to voice your concerns to your supervisor. Maybe you've been holding these thoughts, feelings in. Instead of communicating openly & being direct out of possible fear, politics, reprimand. By drinking you found courage & let it rip. I don't know, I'm speculating. I've done similar things in the past. I didn't always know how to handle conflict, criticism. Oh crap, I didn't know how to handle a lot of things.

Sobriety is the gift that keeps on giving.

[paulywogg]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

i can relate! exept ive CALLED my boss while drunk to bitch about coworkers! luckily were pretty close so i still have my job,but there is definitly less respect in his eyes for me now

[lucky 2.0]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

X,

Can you recall the e-mail so she never sees it?

[XWino]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

Thanks, everyone! Knowing I'm not alone helps.

Lucky: If I could be so lucky as to be able to recall it!
Wildfowers: I'm hoping this is my wake up call! It could have been worse. I have been playing with fire long enough. Luckily, I was never arrested! In some small way, I feel like I needed something like this to shake me up! I wont see my supervisor for a while, we aren't in the same office.
Kradle: That was pretty funny. I can still see myself, with my finger over the send button and then hitting send. Thinking should I or shouldn't I? Why is it when we drink everything sounds like such a good idea?

Pauly, Stella, Cleo, Change: Thanks for your support! I wasn't able to get any sleep! I am already too much of an anxious person, I don't need this. Recently, I was saved when I thought my addiction was discovered. I overheard doctors, the pharmicist talking about me. I read an email from a dr. and had a voice message from a coworker mocking me, because they had found out about me. I was saved by me having a break with reality. I had imagined it all. I so would like that to be the case, in a way. Then though I would not have this desire to never drink again. If somehow she does not receive the email, I will be right back to playing with fire. I have been saved so much this year. The problem is I cannot have my job and also be an alcoholic. It's one of the reasons I cannot seek help. I think I need rehab. I am pretty hard core with my alcoholism. I am not unfamiliar with the taste of rubbing alcohol. I'm lucky not to be blind!

[ThreeDogNight]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

Hi, XWino.
Is there a ay you could go to rehab? If you think you need it, you probably do! I went to a 28 day progarm in November of 2011, and it was the best thing I could have done. I went over six months AF before I slipped. I knew what I was supposed to do, and didn't do it. I then got a few days, 8 days, and 22 days in August. But I am now on day 45, and feel so different. Rehab gives you time to get away from your life and figure some things out. And just that amount of AF time, when you are used to drinking every day, is a miracle in itself! If you can drink rubbing alcohol, you need serious help now before something really bad happens to you.

I will keep you in my prayers, and please stay here and let us all kno how it goes.

:lTDN

[XWino]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

3dog. I do feel I need to be away from the stress of my life and to get a foundation to help me cope without al. As it is, I would most definitely lose my job. I even found a place with AA meetings that is close to my home. That's off limits also. I would probably have to quit for a couple of years. Cannot afford it, especially with my husband unemployed. They would find out, because I would be obligated to tell.

One good thing is that it is possible I can recall the email, I've learned. So, tomorrow at six am, I will be working on that. I sent it late Thursday, so maybe, hopefullly she is on vacatin due to the holidays, maybe she has a lot of unread emails and I get a second chance. I feel optimistic. I have been doing a lot of praying. I have vowed regardless, my love affair with alcohol is over. I have plenty of antiabuse, if I am tempted, I will take it. I have also heard from my sister about how horrible I was my last drunk. I hate al. I want it out of my life!

[paulywogg]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

people drink rubbing alcohol?thats a first for me

[199days]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

I'm hoping this is my wake up call

Take the hoping out and say THIS is my wake up call.

You will feel better and fresh soon, the AV will start asking you to poison yourself.

Go to war with these cravings and do not give in, if you do things like this will happen again and again and again.

Thinks will get better and better and better over time if you stay sober.

Good luck.

[ThreeDogNight]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

XWino;1439507 wrote: 3dog. I do feel I need to be away from the stress of my life and to get a foundation to help me cope without al. As it is, I would most definitely lose my job. I even found a place with AA meetings that is close to my home. That's off limits also. I would probably have to quit for a couple of years. Cannot afford it, especially with my husband unemployed. They would find out, because I would be obligated to tell.

One good thing is that it is possible I can recall the email, I've learned. So, tomorrow at six am, I will be working on that. I sent it late Thursday, so maybe, hopefullly she is on vacatin due to the holidays, maybe she has a lot of unread emails and I get a second chance. I feel optimistic. I have been doing a lot of praying. I have vowed regardless, my love affair with alcohol is over. I have plenty of antiabuse, if I am tempted, I will take it. I have also heard from my sister about how horrible I was my last drunk. I hate al. I want it out of my life!

Hi, XWino.

There is a lot going on here. First of all, I am not sure what you mean by "They would find out, because I would be obligated to tell." Who?? AA? Your employer? AA is supposed to be anonymous. Or do you mean this would be the case if you went to rehab?

You admit that you need to get away, and yet are not going to do so. I will tell you that a few people recommended that I go to rehab--a year or to before I finally did go--and I had all kinds of excuses: job, money, etc. Well, I went on to get TWO DUIs in 6 months in 2011, and all of that has cost me a lot more than what rehab cost me!! You think it cannot happen to you, but I'm sure that you never thought you'd end up drinking rubbing alcohol. Rehab can be expensive, but some places offer scholarships or financial aid, and, with your husband being unemployed, this may very well be the case for you.

Erasing that email is not the solution. It sounded in your first email like you needed a serious wake up call, and maybe if the supervisor gets your email, that will be it. And praying is a good thing, but if you were really serious, you'd be taking that antabuse NOW--not waiting until you are "tempted." I do not mean to be harsh, but if I could save you some of what I had to go through, it would be worth it.

Yes, Paulywog, alcoholics drink all kinds of things. Vanilla is one that many drink because it is easy to get and doesn't taste bad. Mouthwash is another.One guy in an AA group I went to had drunk sterno at one point. Be thankful you haven't come to that.

TDN

[K9Lover]

Drunk email to my 3rd level supervisor

Hi XWino,

I've had my fair share of drunken texts/emails/calls, etc. I am so glad those days are over. The anxiety of waking up and not knowing what you did is beyond horrible. I could take the physical hangovers, it was the mental ones that made me finally quit. I agree that you should be taking your Antabuse NOW. When a craving hits you may not be strong enough to take the pill instead of the drink.

Pauly - Like TDN said, alcoholics will drink anything that has any type of alcohol in it: rubbing alcohol, perfume, mouthwash...ANYTHING.

Let us know how you are doing!

K9