Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

[Kradle123]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

:h EM, if I may and no offense intended-

But from reading your posts it sounds as though right now, right here... you are the one who is most hurt...far more than the baby could ever be... I believe most of us here are mortified and very angry with ourselves on so many levels for the stuff we have done. We have to let go, hard and hard and hard as that is. I promise you will only end up hating yourself more for hating yourself now... And I'm the poster gal for hanging on and hating myself so I have Lots Of experience In self loathing...

Everyone here as expressed their opinion and experience that your baby will be fine, but you seem determined to see the worst. Please go back and read Yiggie's experience. She pm'd me a few months ago and the baby is perfect...and I believe she drank far more than you were. She also had less than great support from her boy friend

I think you are well ahead of the game. Stay close.

Hugs and heart,,

:l:h

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em-- my husband and I were trying to conceive but at the time my cycle was irregular. I was not a daily drinker but I had a couple of drinks on the weekends socially ( my issues came post baby). We went on vacation to an all inclusive and I drank a ton, wine, beer, tequila-- large amounts-- and when I came back I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant-- meaning I drank heavily when I was exactly around where you are. I quit immediately. My son is perfect. And the doc who by the way is one of the preeminent fertility specialists in America did not even bat an eye when I told him about the drinking-- he just said-- well-- stop now and it should be fine-- he never advocated that I not drink while trying to conceive ( in fact he said if I did that it would make the actual pregnancy seem like the longest one in the world). Of course I have no crystal ball but the odds really are in your favor. Defects from alcohol use in pregnancy are generally from prolonged use . I think you will be fine!! Enjoy preparing for your baby!!!

[FlyAway]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Everyone here as expressed their opinion and experience that your baby will be fine, but you seem determined to see the worst.

Bingo.

And everyone has told you the same thing at Babycenter too, yet you keep looking for a negative story. Seems like you aren't getting the story you're looking for.

You need to figure out if you really want to be a mom or not.

Harsh, yes I know.

[TheSunFlower]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em.....put yourself at ease. I agree with Siren. Even though you made a few mistakes....this child would choose to be born. And that is what counts.

I drank heavily right up to finding out I was preganant with both my kids. Both are perfect. We have had challenges with the first....and I for a LONG time....blamed my drinking on them. Until I learned that most of my husband's family faced the same challenges and they had not drank.

Aborting a child will not release you from any guilt.....IMO, it would increase it.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Thanks everyone--especially Kradle.

I did start by asking about heavy drinking in early pregnancy on Baby Center. but to be honest, the level of drinking that I did seemed to outpace the folks there by quite a bit (although recently I have heard from other moms who did go through similar drinking binges). I also think that this has been a wake-up call that I needed to stop drinking and get healthy, and I don't intend to go back where I was.

I am going to focus on the positives and am planning on moving on from this. I sat down with my husband tonight, and we had a great talk. He pointed out to me that my fear is more for myself and my failings. What I did was not "good," but it doesn't have to be the end of the story.

I am dedicated, though, to not drinking at all during this pregnancy, and I hope to never go back to drinking the way that I was before. I was in dark place and full of doubt but will try to have faith from here on out.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

And yes, I want to be a mom! (FlyAway, I think that was exactly the question I need to ask myself.) I'm going to do everything I can to get healthy and to be ready.

[Siren136]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

If you commit, I can't wait for you to have a sonogram. What a great visual incentive! My skinny jeans pale in comparison!

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Siren136;1463012 wrote: If you commit, I can't wait for you to have a sonogram. What a great visual incentive! My skinny jeans pale in comparison!

Siren, I am all in. :-) I am sorry if I bothered people with my doubts/worries. I went overboard with the questions and concerns, and I'm sure I'll have more along the way. But I'm shifting gears now and am focusing on being the best I can be for the duration.

I think you're right, though- that once I see something more than just a circle on a screen, if/when there is a heartbeat, I can focus on that and stop beating myself up (and annoying the you-know-what out of everyone by not being able to move on).

[bettygirl]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

if fetal alcohol syndrome was caused by drinking/drugging in that first month, i think most of us and our kids would be f.a.s folks...including my healthy, smart, awesome 14 year old kid.

[drinkingal]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

"but I am also not in the category where he could safely say "you didn't drink that much, it was too early, don't worry about it."

but keep in mind that doctors really shy away from giving guarantees about anything, even if you hadn't been drinking, he still wouldn't guarantee you a perfectly healthy baby just in case, they just don't leave themselves open like that, so if you were looking for the doc to give you a definitive answer then they tend to talk around that sort of thing in terms of risks and percentages without putting themselves on the line, and that doesn't mean the situation is dire, it's what doctors do.

[treetops]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

EM - I tried posting yesterday but the thread crashed! I think many women have huge doubts when they find they are pregnant - and the worries and doubts continue forever as a Mum. But being pregnant and having a baby, raising a child is the best ever thing that happened to me.
I drank at least twice as much as you when I unexpectantly found out I was pregnant aged 41. I stopped drinking immediately (also once hormones kick in many women find the taste of AL repulsive). I have an intelligent, loving and thoughtful girl who will be 15 years next week. I started drinking after birth - only a little as I was breastfeeding - but my AL consumption returned in later years. I have finally quit - over 4 months ago - and my daughter has been one of my biggest supporters.
We are here for you. Embrace your pregnancy. There will be huge hassles and there will be pain and emotional highs and lows - but I doubt if any birth attendant will give you AL when giving birth!

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

treetops;1463889 wrote: EM - I tried posting yesterday but the thread crashed! I think many women have huge doubts when they find they are pregnant - and the worries and doubts continue forever as a Mum. But being pregnant and having a baby, raising a child is the best ever thing that happened to me.
I drank at least twice as much as you when I unexpectantly found out I was pregnant aged 41. I stopped drinking immediately (also once hormones kick in many women find the taste of AL repulsive). I have an intelligent, loving and thoughtful girl who will be 15 years next week. I started drinking after birth - only a little as I was breastfeeding - but my AL consumption returned in later years. I have finally quit - over 4 months ago - and my daughter has been one of my biggest supporters.
We are here for you. Embrace your pregnancy. There will be huge hassles and there will be pain and emotional highs and lows - but I doubt if any birth attendant will give you AL when giving birth!

Treetops- I appreciate you sharing your story. Do you remember how many weeks along you were when you realized you were pregnant and stopped drinking?

My biggest concern has been what the doctor said about the timing of the drinking- that by drinking through 4 weeks and 2 days after my last period- could present problems for the baby.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I thought I was doing better, but I had a serious backslide over the weekend. No, I did not drink, but I found myself again overcome with grief and worry about the pregnancy.

If there are any more stories out there about hope and redemption after heavy drinking and early pregnancy, please continue to share them.

I am calling my doctor back today to see if I can get a referral for counseling as well. I have the pertinent facts- that there are risks, that we are probably fine- but I am still having trouble coping.

[Catbuddy]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Hi there,

Just a thought to chime in. Your anxiety and obsessive thoughts may have nothing more to do with this concern. If you were a regular heavy drinker and abruptly gave up AL, you are going through withdrawl. All of us have experienced it. It's a crazy roller-coaster of a time. If you can put the thoughts . and emotions in this context, it may be less scary. And it may help you see that you don't need to act on the anxieties, just live through them.

Cat

[sian]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em, having just read the first few replies you received: they seem to be giving you a ton of reassurance. Is your partner aware how this is affecting you - are you letting him share the emotional load and support you?