Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Dear Sian and Cat--

I have told my partner that I am still struggling, and he was patient at first but has become frustrated with me over the last few days. I completely understand his frustration--I've heard that we are probably fine, that there are other people out there who have healthy children despite drinking in early pregnancy-- but I am having trouble healing and moving on.

I am waiting to hear back from the doctor about a referral for counseling. I think I need some professional help here, to heal and move on.

What started this recent backslide-- after seeing the doctor and reading reassuring stories online toward the end of last week, I finally started to sleep through the night. This weekend, I had my first dream since I found out I was pregnant. It was a familiar dream--sitting around the dinner table with my big, extended family, drinking wine and beer. In the dream, I took a drink of wine, and then I woke up sweating and scared.

I have felt the urge to drink (in real life) but have not acted on it. It is just hard for me to move on at this point, and I'm not sure why.

[Kradle123]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em,
See this link... https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...rry-46299.html


Silly Mama just posted it. I think it will calm you considerably. :l

PS: she updates in the last post.

[Siren136]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Aww, Em, big hugs to you. Bad dreams and drinking again dreams are so common!! If you haven't already done so, I think you should read a lot about what to expect during withdrawal and recovery. It's not as easy as just going back to "normal" when you quit drinking. The brain and body need to reset themselves. That takes time and taking care of yourself.

[struggles]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em, my daughter is 11. I got pregnant and had no idea. I drank heavily for the previous three months. In order to find out my due date, we had to have an ultrasound and measurements to see how far along I was. I worried just like you did. My obgyn told me that the first month, the baby is not attached to our belly button so the drinking was not a factor. She was born perfectly healthy and happy. I went through exactly what you are going through. My obgyn put me on an antidepressant for the remainder of my pregnancy. The dreams are common. Talk to your doctor and maybe ask if there is anything you can do. Congratulations on the pregnancy! Stick around here and we will all give you support :l

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Thank you! I really appreciate the continued patience and support as I work through this.

I started therapy today (long overdue) to address my anxiety and guilt. Just trying to take it a day at a time.

My OBGYN's office called today, and my hCG levels are not doubling the way that they should. The doctor wants me to come in tomorrow for an ultrasound, to see if the baby has a heartbeat. Please continue to keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Saw the baby's heartbeat today! (Phew.) Still working on forgiving myself for the drinking before I knew I was pregnant, but hearing the heartbeat for the first time brought tears to my eyes (for a good reason).

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I will keep you posted!

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Backsliding

I had another bad dream last night, and to try to calm myself down, I tried to pull up some of the studies on fetal alcohol syndrome, to remind myself that drinking before I knew I was pregnant at about 4 weeks probably didn't harm the baby. Having something remind me that we are probably okay is the most soothing thing for me, when I panic.

My heart is now absolutely breaking. Instead of the reassuring stories that I've seen before, Google provided the following story about a woman who had 2 binge drinking episodes before she knew she was pregnant, and her son has fetal alcohol syndrome. He is 30 years old, and his level of disability prevents him from getting a job; he can only volunteer at a local soup kitchen.


Mom warns others against drinking during pregnancy after Danish study suggests moderate alcohol consumption is safe | abc13.com


I am still praying that the odds are in our favor and that the baby is fine, but now I know what my doctor was saying about there being a risk that damage was already done.

[Yiggie210]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I drove myself absolutely crazy day after day looking up stuff on the web about FAS, spina bifida, and every other defect you can think of. I promise you this, none of it is going to be reassuring. It is only going to make you even more worried. It is good to research the stuff a little, and educate yourself about it. But trust me, looking it up every other day, and reading horror stories about it won't do you any good. The truth is nobody can tell you for sure whether or not your baby has been affected, but chances are good that the baby will not have FAS. There are many other factors that contribute to full blown FAS besides drinking. Factors such as age, socio-economic status, your overall health, and if you've previously had a child with FAS. Of course there is a risk that damage was done, but it's more likely that the baby will be fine so long as you're taking good care of yourself and the baby from now on. You'll feel much better once you get an ultrasound, and your quad screenings done. That's when I finally started to relax and stop reading horror stories that were plastered all over the internet lol.

[Kradle123]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Excellent advice Yiggie and well said.

Remember when you first posted and I mentioned my own personal Dr. Doom?? That guy told me all sorts of horror stories about what could happen to my baby just because I was an Older Mom :shocked: he even drew pictures..what a jerk . But it certainly had me over informing myself as well and getting upset for what turned out to be no reason...

See the evidence right above this post ... Very healthy twin girls who happily drive me insane now and then :H


:l

[mym]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em, what is the average length of your menstrual cycle? And do you know the minimum/maximum number of days your cycle has been in the past year? Or even the past few months?

With regard to the news story, neither the video nor the article say how far along she was, only that it was before she knew she was pg. Sometimes women are pretty far along when they find out they are pg.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

mym;1467310 wrote: Em, what is the average length of your menstrual cycle? And do you know the minimum/maximum number of days your cycle has been in the past year? Or even the past few months?

With regard to the news story, neither the video nor the article say how far along she was, only that it was before she knew she was pg. Sometimes women are pretty far along when they find out they are pg.

Hi mym,

My average cycle is usually about 30 days. Day 28 was the day of the big wine (2 bottle) binge drinking night. On Day 30, I took a pregnancy test just to ease my mind, and it was positive.

Either way, it was reckless and irresponsible for me to drink like that. I have tried to draw comfort from knowing that I am not the first woman to do this and that there may be a chance that the baby is still going to be healthy, but stories like that (from a woman who only had 2 binge drinking episodes before she knew she was pregnant) scare me.

[Kradle123]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

emwv712;1467881 wrote: Hi mym,

there may be a chance that the baby is still going to be healthy,

me.

Em, this is a bit backwards IMO... There is Every chance your baby will be healthy and only a small chance he/she will not...and that outcome most likely has nothing to do with the drinking.

:l

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Kradle123;1467897 wrote: Em, this is a bit backwards IMO... There is Every chance your baby will be healthy and only a small chance he/she will not...and that outcome most likely has nothing to do with the drinking.

:l

I appreciate the support and the reassurance, but I want to make it clear that I am not completely off base with my concerns. After seeing that news story about the woman who had 2 binge drinking episodes before she knew she was pregnant, I did some more research:

Drinking Patterns and Alcohol-Related Birth Defects

Researchers and clinicians are particularly concerned about women who consume alcohol in a binge like pattern before they realize that they are pregnant (referred to as pregnancy recognition) as well as during early pregnancy. The reason for this concern involves the relationship between the timing of these binge like episodes and the timing of critical periods of fetal brain development. Although heavy alcohol consumption throughout pregnancy leads to a significant risk of brain injury to the developing fetus, the fetus is especially vulnerable to alcohol-induced brain injury during specific stages of brain development, many of which occur early during pregnancy ( Ikonomidou et al. 2000; West 1987) . If a woman binge drinks during such a critical stage, significant harm may be inflicted on the developing fetal brain. The resulting deficits can range from gross structural abnormalities, such as small brain size (i. e. , microencephaly) with significantly altered brain circuitry ( e. g. , shrinkage or even complete absence of the corpuscallosum 1 ) (1 The corpus callosum is a bundle of nerve fibers that connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain.), to the more subtle, but nonetheless significant, loss of specific nerve cells ( i. e. , neurons) in a particular brain region. Not surprisingly, such alterations in the normal development of the structural and neurochemical composition of the brain can have deleterious behavioral consequences ( e. g. , learning or attention deficits) that may not manifest until a later age.

[Yiggie210]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Emw,

What that column of information doesn't include is the other factors that contribute to FAS. Like I mentioned in a previous post you must also consider your age, over all health, socio-economic status, race, previous births, etc.... And again, there is no telling that your child wasn't affected. BUT there is just as much of a chance that your child wad unaffected. If you're judging simply by what you ingested, take heart in my own story. Because I drank, and took illicit drugs in ignorance of my pregnancy. Despite all the heartbreaking stories I read, and my own version of Kradle's Dr Doom (who said I had done irreversible damage to ny baby, and that there was NO WAY my baby would be alright), and the baby's own father pushing me toward an abortion because of things like this.... my child is bright, beautiful, and healthy. Hitting all her milestones early actually. At two weeks old she held her bottle by herself. At a month old she was holding her head up and turning it from side to side. At less than two months when we put her down for tummy time she tries to roll over AND CRAWL!!! It's amazing. I'm absolutely BLESSED!! And you will be too!! Just pray to God hunny. He is stronger than any story you can read, and any statistic a doctor can post. You realized you were pregnant early on, and stopped drinking right away. That's the best thing you can do. Try to relax once in a while for the baby's sake!! He/she needs that!!! Remember the baby feels everything you do, and with that in mind take a nice bath and relax, and bond with your baby-to-be.

Many, many, many hugs from a mom who's been there,
Theresa

[patrice]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Dear Ems,

I PM'ed you my story after you asked for advice earlier. You PM'ed back saying you felt relieved, presumably because 1. I was drinking more than you and for longer and 2. I was 42 years old which in itself brings so many more possible difficulties for the baby and myself.
I told you that my boy is now 7 years old, has no health problems, is gorgeous looking and a really cool kid.
What I didn't tell you is that once I had decided to keep the baby ( at 6weeks pregnant) I STOPPED reading the internet. I just stopped because it was SO counterproductive.
I also started chilling out, relaxing.. and I swear that was the best thing I could have done for my baby. Like Yiggie says.. the baby feels everything you feel and stress in the womb = stress outside the womb. That's a fact.
Stop reading horror stories and worst case scenario's
Start relaxing, laughing and enjoying. Your baby will be relaxing, laughing and enjoying right along with you!!

Take care
Patrice x