Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Patrice,

I was relieved to know that it is possible to drink heavily in early pregnancy, stop drinking, and go on to have a healthy child. Your son is a miracle, and I really want a miracle of my own.

I wish I could let this go. You are right, the Internet is NOT my friend here. I keep thinking I'm looking for reassurance and peace, but I keep taking in bad news with the good.

I think I am in denial too, feeling like I can somehow "fix" this. If I keep the baby or if I terminate the pregnancy, I do not know if I can live with myself.

I need to be honest here--I was not being careful, which is what led to this. We were being foolish and reckless. I did not think I was pregnant, but that doesn't mean that I should have done what I did, when there was even a .00001% chance that I could have been pregnant.

Just need to find a way to stop hating myself.

patrice;1468223 wrote: Dear Ems,

I PM'ed you my story after you asked for advice earlier. You PM'ed back saying you felt relieved, presumably because 1. I was drinking more than you and for longer and 2. I was 42 years old which in itself brings so many more possible difficulties for the baby and myself.
I told you that my boy is now 7 years old, has no health problems, is gorgeous looking and a really cool kid.
What I didn't tell you is that once I had decided to keep the baby ( at 6weeks pregnant) I STOPPED reading the internet. I just stopped because it was SO counterproductive.
I also started chilling out, relaxing.. and I swear that was the best thing I could have done for my baby. Like Yiggie says.. the baby feels everything you feel and stress in the womb = stress outside the womb. That's a fact.
Stop reading horror stories and worst case scenario's
Start relaxing, laughing and enjoying. Your baby will be relaxing, laughing and enjoying right along with you!!

Take care
Patrice x

[Yiggie210]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I think I speak for many people responding to you when I say, "We know how you feel." There is so much guilt and worry when you're placed in a situation like this. But the worry itself is so bad for you, and your baby. Like patrice said, relaxing is the best thing she did. I agree. It will be much easier to relax once you have a good long ultrasound, and your quad screenings done. That will give you a lot of reassurance that the baby is fine. Of course we all already think it is anyway!

The only way to stop hating yourself is to simply do just that. Stop hating yourself sweetie. You are not the first woman to be where you are, are and you damn sure will not be the last. Otherwise there wouldn't be threads like ours to begin with lol.

Kradle said it would be reassuring to you if I posted some pictures of my own baby. And being that I have already PMed you my story I couldn't agree with her more. So tomorrow I will try to post some pictures for you to see that it is more than possible for your baby to be both beautiful, and healthy. If mine can be the miracle that she is, then I'm sure yours will be perfect!!

Lots of love and hugs,
Theresa

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

You all are amazing. Thank you so much for being here for me, as I struggle with this.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Still feeling like a yo yo. Some days, I can almost relax and forget about where I was, how heavily I was drinking, and my worries about the baby. Yiggie has been incredibly sweet and sent me a PM, to check in on me. I promise you, I am trying to focus on the positive, on the hope- but sometimes, it seems like the "risks" and the "science" outweigh the potential that I can still have a healthy child after all I did.

I am sleeping through the night now, and I'm still in counselling (although my next session is a week a way, and I already feel the weight settling back on me). We have another ultrasound in a few days, though, and I am trying to focus on that.

Thanks again everyone for being here for me! I have not had a drink since February 3, which feels amazing on its own.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Another quick update. Since I am still struggling to be at peace with the heavy drinking before I knew I was pregnant (especially the night of my big bender, when I had two bottles of wine by myself), I am continuing to see a psychologist. He wants me to consider taking Zoloft or Prozac, to alleviate the extreme anxiety I feel over what I did.

I would prefer to try to do this without medication, if possible. I feel like I was "self medicating" with wine and beer before I knew I was pregnant, and I would like to try to heal on my own, chemical-free. But I am concerned about all the anxiety and worry, and the impact that would have on the baby (in addition to the harm that I've done by drinking).

Has anyone else considered anti-depressants? As I continue to stay sober, does it matter if I need "help" in the form of medication? I'm just struggling with this decision too, and I do plan on speaking to a medical doctor first, to discuss any potential harm that the anti-depressants might have for the developing baby (because that would be a deal breaker).

[Wagoneer]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Be very careful with antidepressants when pregnant. Check all side effects. Some are safe, others are not. Seems I heard something about a class action suit going on with one of them but I cannot remember which one. Do your homework. Definitely speak to your OBGYN about this. Depression can affect everything, and you want to nip it in the bud, but you want to do it safely for you and for your precious baby. Best of luck to you.

[Yiggie210]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I agree with wagon. Do your homework most definitely when it comes to the side effects because there are a plethora that come along with all psychiatric drugs. If you find one that is safe for both you and the baby I would say let it be a last resort even then. I was on Lexapro a few years back and that helped me a lot with me depression and anxiety. But I am not sure if it is safe to take while pregnant.

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I know many people may disagree with me but I want to caution you about the use of antidepressants during pregnancy. I too was very prone to depression and had been on SSRIs for nearly 20 years when I got pregnant. Both my OB and psychiatrist provided evidence that Prozac and Paxil were safe to use during pregnancy and gave me literature to that effect. Prozac is the one that has the most studies probably because its been around for so long. None of the benzos are safe during pregnancy of course. Something still didn't sit right with me about taking them and I decided against it. Uighur is quite correct that there are numerous legitimate lawsuits involving birth defects to babies for women who took these drugs. I know however that there are many women that have taken them and their babies have been just fine. You are already worried about the effect the limited drinking might have done to the baby -- though most likely all will be well. If it were me-- and again I am not you-- I would not want to add a drug daily that could cause harm and then have to worry about that. I doubt it would make you feel less anxious about things. As I posted before I think I drank a load over a one week period when I was about as far along as you were . I was concerned but I just stopped and the doctor was not concerned going forward. After your ultrasounds and testing you will feel better -- I know it's hard but I really think the risk is low as long as you've stopped. Good luck!!

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Silly autocorrect-- meant to say "yiggie" is right

[HealthyLiving]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I agree with everyone else. when I was pregnant, my doctor had me stop anti-depressants. She thought that even with some studies saying that it might not be harmful during pregnancy, she thought any potential risk outweighed the benefits. If what you are suffering is anxiety over possible harm from drinking, I think there are less potentially harmful ways of alleviating your anxiety. for example, have you thought about seeing a counselor about your anxiety? Sometimes talk therapy or some cognitive behavioural techniques can help with anxiety.

[HealthyLiving]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Sorry, I just read the beginning of your posts where you said you were seeing a psychologist. But there are drug-free approaches to dealing with anxiety: both cognitive (david burns) and behavioral.

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I think if I am reading you right-- and as a person who was in your shoes with a first time pregnancy-- you are very concerned-- as all moms to be are with the unknown. Therefore, I would probably not add another unknown to the mix-- that is-- the effect of an antidepressant on the baby. As the previous poster said, there are other ways for dealing with anxiety- therapy which you are doing-- takes time but actually is found to be just as if not more effective many times in changing us cognitively. Exercise and diet are also helpful and can be modified even while pregnant-- especially if your pregnancy is proceeding without any physical restrictions-- walking, yoga, even more rigorous classes can be taken as long as the OB says its okay and for me I've found that talk therapy and exercise did more for my depression even after 20 years of trying just about every SSRI in the book. Now, with that said-- there are some women who take antidepressants who absolutely cannot function without them in pregnancy. To not take them would cripple them for 9 months and destroy their quality of life. But from what you've posted I sort of get the feeling that a lot of your anxiety is stemming already from worrying over what you've already put into your body and its affect on the baby and the future. Keep on plugging away with the therapist. You can do this!

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

It was not limited drinking that I did- it was definitely heavy drinking. Not to rehash it, but on my worst night (when I was exactly 4 weeks from my last period, about 2 weeks from when we believe conception happened), I drank 2 bottles of wine and probably a beer by myself. That is a lot of alcohol, period.

My doctor was less than encouraging about my chances for a healthy pregnancy. As he put it, there are "un-quantifiable risks" from drinking that heavily in early pregnancy. I have had good days and bad days, but there are still times when I feel so completely helpless. Despite my husband very pro-life and believing strongly in keeping the baby, no matter what, I still have times when I contemplate going to a clinic and ending the pregnancy, without telling him.

I do not want to destroy my marriage, and there are times that I wonder if it is the anxiety that is making the situation seem worse than it is.

I do not want to introduce a new risk into the pregnancy, but I am also really having a hard time coping.

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I'm fairly certain that over the course of vacation while at the all inclusive in Mexico I definitely drank that much most every day and I got pregnant the night before I got there. We were indulging from morning to night as it was already paid for-- champagne, margaritas, tequila etc. my doctor was ( and still is) one of the preeminent fertility specialists in the United States. He certainly didn't tell me that he knew everything would be fine since no doc says that but he came pretty close to it-- so long as I stopped drinking -- I drank that quantity on 7 occasions while not knowing I was pregnant. ( the 1st 7 days after conception) I wish there was a way I could make you feel better but I think you've got it in your mind that the outcome will be bad despite anything we might say. Yes you will find some horror stories. But most fetal alcohol syndrome cases are from repeated prolonged alcohol
abuse throughout pregnancy and there are generally other risk factors present-- such as poor diet and spotty prenatal care. I do hope you will continue with the therapist as constant stress during pregnancy won't be good for you, the baby or your partner -- you want to be happy during this time

[Mootsbill]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Hiya, be honest with your doctors and midwives and they will put your mind at rest. As long as you start being healthy now you will be fine. Lots of people don't know they ate pregnant at the beginning. Your baby is starting to develop now so nows the time to start taking care of yourself. Don't stress about it, you've nothing to worry about xx