Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Thanks, ATLThrash. I know you are being legit, but I am still struggling on my end, thanks to another scare from another doctor.

I wrote to another doctor asking for a second opinion. This doctor put my chances of the child having fetal alcohol syndrome from drinking during the first 4 to 4.5 weeks after the last cycle at 30%, based on my drinking habits (a glass or two of wine each day, with binge drinking on the weekend. The two bottles of wine in one night was the most I consumed at any one time though).

The doctor said that if I was drinking 12 drinks per day during the first 4 weeks, my chances of having a child with fetal alcohol syndrome would be 75%.

I feel like I am getting such conflicting information, which is what makes it hard to keep calm.

[Wagoneer]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

You need to stop this. It seems like you will never be satisfied. You are writing to doctors and they are giving you diagnoses without checking you or the baby!!? That is just ridiculous. i am taking myself out of this conversation. You seem like you will not be satisfied until you find out something is wrong with the baby. I am sorry to be harsh but you need to see a doctor to talk this thing out. Good luck to you and your baby. I really mean that. but I cannot bear to be part of this conversation any longer. It's heartbreaking.

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Wow-- I guess I know a bunch of moms and babies that beat the odds and I had one of them. A doctor was willing to put a percentage chance on FAS-- I find that unbelievable. While I can certainly believe that a doctor would probably not say there's nothing to worry about because that's not how they are I am shocked that one would put odds on a baby having FAS. I certainly had that many drinks on vacation. Tons of women have one or two glasses of wine a day for 2 months before knowing they are pregnant and likely rip it a few times and do not have FAS babies. At this point you are so worked up though that if something goes awry it will be hard to determine what caused it-- because this stress it very bad for you and the baby. Good luck to you but I'm with Waggy--this is getting ridiculous-- almost unbelievable-- I don't know alot of doctors who dispense advisory opinions via email without examination-- not in the US but then you might not be from the US

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Not sure if it matters, but I am in the U.S. An examination of a developing baby in utero would not reveal evidence of FASD at this stage, which I know is true.

I am not anxious about the odds of FASD at this point; I am completely disgusted with the wide range of information out there in the medical profession on the concern of drinking before you know you are pregnant. (Personal experiences are something else entirely, and I appreciate what everyone has said.)

It drives me nuts that some doctors will say that drinking up to 4 weeks and a few days is fine, some will say that there is a risk, and others will point to studies to say that they can even quantify that risk. (This last doctor referred to a study by the Washington University School of Medicine, which has been very active in the FASD task force, from what I've read.)

As for me and my husband, this is a decision that we have to make together, and we have. There is not enough information to lead us to terminate the pregnancy out of fear, but what if I hadn't gone to such lengths to look into this?

I worry too about other women in my position, who might not have the resources or the ability to get a second (and third) opinion. It's just unfortunate that there is no clear resource that lets you know what the risks are and what you should know.

I don't mean to frustrate anyone, and I am not "trying to find a problem" with my baby. For one thing, I am only 9 weeks-plus, and we would have a looong time to go if that was all I am doing. I am still just looking for the facts because I think it's important that someone else who comes along after me can see that this is not clear or easy.

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

None of the doctors will be able to tell you what the outcome will be. I would actually say that the anecdotal experiences of other moms would probably be more beneficial to you because in actuality they are what happen in the majority of cases-- not the horror story. But since the anecdotal experiences of all of us moms here at MWO don't fit in with what you want to hear there's really no point to go into it. Yes, FAS exists for moms that drink during pregnancy. And it could occur in a case of an isolated early pregnancy binge. But the FACTS are that FAS is generally associated with frequent drinking on many occasions throughout a pregnancy and occurs often in women that have poor diet, no prenatal care etc. at this point it appears that you want us to acknowledge that your baby could be damaged and that you're right and we are wrong-- so okay-- you are right.. Far be it from me to go against a medical doctor, I just didn't want you to worry needlessly and to enjoy your pregnancy.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Maybe I just need to get to the point where I am like- "forget it, the risks don't matter anymore." ATLThrash, you are not wrong in that the baby could still be okay. I guess the odds don't matter- if it is a 30% chance of a problem or not. There is not really a "magic number" at which this pregnancy would no longer be worth it.

I guess I'm just wasting time?

[Kradle123]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Em,


Yes. Sorry to say this but you are wasting your time...

Go to Babys 'R Us and start picking out the layette and colors for the nursery...much better use of your mind and energy.

:l

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

In my book there's more of a chance that the baby is okay in your book you are certain that the baby is doomed-- that's the difference between us. I don't start from the premise that the baby isn't fine. Even doing what you did-- but that's just me, I think the odds are in your favor. You're keeping the baby so what does the worrying accomplish?

[mama bear]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I just popped in to say Hi to my buddy ATL...long time, no see

[ATLThrash]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Hey MB-- how's tricks? Just got back from the doctor with my little cub-- how are your big strapping dudes? Roll tide by the way!

[mama bear]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

my oldest turned 21 yesterday -= OMG!!!!

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Ok, I'm going to stop posting about this issue. That's not to say that I won't still worry about it from time to time (more than I want to admit). But I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Just a quick update, in case this helps. We definitely decided to keep the baby, and I am now almost 21 weeks pregnant. I feel guilty that I considered terminating the pregnancy over drinking, regardless of the outcome. It's not the baby's fault that I was drinking daily and binging on the weekends.

We know that we are having a little girl, and we are looking forward to welcoming her to our family in October.

I appreciate everyone's support as I tried to get to the "truth" of fetal alcohol syndrome and to get scientific proof that my child was going to be okay or would not be okay. I've been focusing on my health, taking prenatal vitamins, and dealing with the issues that led me to drink before I knew I was pregnant.

I'm also looking into joining AA, so I can have some sense of support to keep me from returning to drinking when the baby is born. Stress and disappointment in myself were big triggers for me when it came to drinking before, and I don't want to slip back into that once the baby is born.

I do still have moments of guilt and worry from time to time about the heavy drinking before I knew I was pregnant. I try to push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the likelihood for a good outcome, but there are times when it is not easy.

[Doggygirl]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

I'm so glad you read you decided to have the baby and are trying to focus on self (and baby) care NOW (what you CAN control) rather than what happened in the past (that you CAN'T control/change). Good for you!

I started going to AA about 8 months after I stopped drinking the last time. I have not regretted the decision. Like anything else in life involving a diverse group of people, there are things I like and things I don't. People I like and people I don't. I've made a lot of new sober friends and for some reason, going to meetings helps me feel sane. You will never know unless you go. I always suggest trying a few different meetings before making a decision as they all tend to be different.

Good luck!

DG

[emwv712]

Heavy Drinking During First Month of Pregnancy

Doggygirl;1512336 wrote: I'm so glad you read you decided to have the baby and are trying to focus on self (and baby) care NOW (what you CAN control) rather than what happened in the past (that you CAN'T control/change). Good for you!

I started going to AA about 8 months after I stopped drinking the last time. I have not regretted the decision. Like anything else in life involving a diverse group of people, there are things I like and things I don't. People I like and people I don't. I've made a lot of new sober friends and for some reason, going to meetings helps me feel sane. You will never know unless you go. I always suggest trying a few different meetings before making a decision as they all tend to be different.

Good luck!

DG

Thanks, Doggygirl! I'm trying out an open meeting of AA for men and women at a local church this Sunday evening, if I can get away from the house. I'm still not ready to tell my husband about AA...he doesn't think my drinking (even the heavy nights with 1 or more bottles of wine) were that big of a deal because I was able to function, work, etc. But I don't think he realizes (1) how much that haunts me now and (2) that I feel like it will be much, much worse for me in terms of the temptation to drink after the baby is born.

So, I'm keeping my Alcoholic Anonymous approach as anonymous as I can for now. I did not find therapy as helpful, but now that I am almost 4 months sober, I feel like I have a better handle on what was not working for me before when I was drinking. I have actually confronted problems with my relationships and with my job that I ignored before because I could turn back to drinking.