scumbag

[cuddle_demon]

after 22 days af I gave up on myself. I drank all day wed, took the money I saved n threw it away at the casino, shouted and screamed at everyone, tried to jump in front of traffic and somehpw i woke up in bed this morning. When I was drinking everyday I was never like that maybe I'm just a horrible scumbag deep down and alcohol masks that. I really want to drink now but I have no money I'm thinking about stealing it thats how low I am

[Guitarista]

scumbag

Hey CD,

I hear you. You are no scumbag. Alcohol will always put us folk in ugly and unsafe positions. You don't need it. 22 days is a huge accomplishment, and that cannot be taken away from you. Well done.

Now get your sorry ass back on track friend, and be the unique gifted person that you really are.

Get yourself through today and you'll be feeling much better in a day or 2.

Come on, pick yourself up. G.

[FreeFly]

scumbag

cuddle_demon;1481304 wrote: after 22 days af I gave up on myself. I drank all day wed, took the money I saved n threw it away at the casino, shouted and screamed at everyone, tried to jump in front of traffic and somehpw i woke up in bed this morning. When I was drinking everyday I was never like that maybe I'm just a horrible scumbag deep down and alcohol masks that. I really want to drink now but I have no money I'm thinking about stealing it thats how low I am

I just want to give you a few of these :l:l:l Listen to G & Molly, they know what they're talking about. Oh and I like your name Give yourself a hug and stick around, ok :l

[cuddle_demon]

scumbag

thanks i'm pulling myself together i'm not really thinking straight yet I WILL get to my 30 days af

[mama bear]

scumbag

How scary!
Be kind to yourself and get well.
We will help
YOU ARE NOT A SCUMBAG
I told myself I was an awful wife and mother for a few years.......it wasn't true.
Get some rest and get hydrated
hugs

[paulywogg]

scumbag

hi cuddle demon,i can realte to that bad trip,ive gone on a bender after 20 plus days before,and i was horrible! mean,irritated just weird,like it was my first time drinking or something,i think maybe the body gets kinda used to no booze and freaks out,or maybe its the dissapointment in ourselves for breaking our af streak and we trip,i dont know for sure but its certainly not worth doing,youll be ok just jump back in the saddle girlie

[K9Lover]

scumbag

Hi CD!

No, you are NOT a scumbag! You're just like us...we're alkies and the worst seems to come out when we drink! Especially after a few weeks off the poison, it's like it hits us like a train. The last time I "slipped" it wasn't anything earthshattering, but I could see how it easily could have been. I think if I were to have a few right now I would be the worlds biggest bitch...probably because in my sobriety I've kept it under control...but if I threw back a few drinks...watch out world! That's not really who I am though, the REAL me is the one that CAN keep it under control. The drunk me couldn't and didn't even want to.

Please don't give up on yourself, we are certainly not giving up on you. We've all been there/done that. Get up and start over. You CAN do this.

Love,
K9

[Hippyman]

scumbag

We WON'T give up on you so PLEASE don't give up on yourself! :l

K9Lover;1481512 wrote: Hi CD!

No, you are NOT a scumbag! You're just like us...we're alkies and the worst seems to come out when we drink! Especially after a few weeks off the poison, it's like it hits us like a train. The last time I "slipped" it wasn't anything earthshattering, but I could see how it easily could have been. I think if I were to have a few right now I would be the worlds biggest bitch...probably because in my sobriety I've kept it under control...but if I threw back a few drinks...watch out world! That's not really who I am though, the REAL me is the one that CAN keep it under control. The drunk me couldn't and didn't even want to.

Please don't give up on yourself, we are certainly not giving up on you. We've all been there/done that. Get up and start over. You CAN do this.

Love,
K9

[Kradle123]

scumbag

That's not really who I am though, the REAL me is the one that CAN keep it under control. The drunk me couldn't and didn't even want to.

You are so right on here, K9. I have struggled with this concept forever. I even started a thread about it! I'll link to it for CD.

I belived that all the anger and bitchyness I harbored inside, inherintly made me a terrible person. There was/is SO MUCH! But to see as you do, it's actually my ability to CONTROL all that 'stuff' which shows strength and character. And when I am drinking of course that all goes right down the tubes...:upset:

Here's the link CD.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ate-67062.html

I know you are in alot of pain right now, CD. You are here with people who comletely know what and where you are coming from. Stay close and drink a ton of water..
Trite but True.
:l

[TheSunFlower]

scumbag

K9....I always love your posts when I come across them.

We are not weak willed people. It takes a lot to be a drunk. Get up for work.....feeling wobbly....smelling...and make it into work.....and be functional.

I personally would not like to be a normie....they just don't have the strength that we do. Once we quit drinking....and take all that energy we placed on drinking or hangovers....we can be anything we want.....we already battled our demon.

I have always envied people who do not drink.....now I am becoming one of them.

[lizker]

scumbag

My theory on relapse is rather different than most people here as I think that addictions do have a spiritual component. I know iam gonna be attacked for this but this is only MY opinion. When I became an alcoholic I invited that spirit to come live in me. It is a possessive spirit. You can't just kick him out that easily once you let him in. When you try to kick him out he will hold on and can cause torment that leads you to give in hence relapse. In that state, he first of all avenges or sort of punishes you for attemping to escape in the first place. Often time its an attempt to make you kill yourself so you won't
have to keep fighting him. You can have victory over time but its gonna be a hard fought battle.