Cutting..

[Cleo Night]

cCut first time couple weeks ago, alcohol has been a way to help my depression, thought it was just a small time thing but started doing it more and now finding it hard not to drink as well. Not in a very good place right now. Cut myself badly yesterday and today. Obviously not bad enough to kill myself but that thought is not scary as it used to be. Course I never thought I would be a self-harmer either :/
Not doing good right now. Sorry I only seem to vent on here when I am doing badly. Was doing so much better a couple of weeks ago now..well not so well. Have a scalpel and in a way the pain helps..which I know is a bad thing.
Anyone else went to self harm to help with stopping drinking? Trouble is I havent been doing too good on not drinking either//

[Siren136]

Cutting..

I didn't think cutting would help stop drinking in the long run. Cutting is like any other addiction - the more you do it the less it helps and you need to do more and more to get the same effect.

If you're also drinking then one of these times you are going to really hurt yourself and maybe not be able to get help in time. Have you seen a doctor about these issues?

Throw the scalpel away and tell someone you trust what's going on. No one can help if they don't know that you need it.

[Guitarista]

Cutting..

Cleo Night;1496312 wrote: cCut first time couple weeks ago, alcohol has been a way to help my depression, thought it was just a small time thing but started doing it more and now finding it hard not to drink as well. Not in a very good place right now. Cut myself badly yesterday and today. Obviously not bad enough to kill myself but that thought is not scary as it used to be. Course I never thought I would be a self-harmer either :/
Not doing good right now. Sorry I only seem to vent on here when I am doing badly. Was doing so much better a couple of weeks ago now..well not so well. Have a scalpel and in a way the pain helps..which I know is a bad thing.
Anyone else went to self harm to help with stopping drinking? Trouble is I havent been doing too good on not drinking either//

G'day Cleo,

Hang in there mate. Have you spoken with a GP? Do you have a good doc? Sounds like you need to talk to someone face to face?

I know cutting is an outlet for many people, but it doesn't stand to reason that it will stop you drinking, or become a healthy replacement. You might need to work out why you are cutting and why you are drinking. A good GP/doctor is usually a good place to start.

Lifeline are 24/7 and it's anonymous if you want to talk to someone and get some advice. Lifeline 13 11 44

Take care of yourself. G.

[Snapdragon]

Cutting..

Cleo Night;1496312 wrote: cCut first time couple weeks ago, alcohol has been a way to help my depression, thought it was just a small time thing but started doing it more and now finding it hard not to drink as well. Not in a very good place right now. Cut myself badly yesterday and today. Obviously not bad enough to kill myself but that thought is not scary as it used to be. Course I never thought I would be a self-harmer either :/
Not doing good right now. Sorry I only seem to vent on here when I am doing badly. Was doing so much better a couple of weeks ago now..well not so well. Have a scalpel and in a way the pain helps..which I know is a bad thing.
Anyone else went to self harm to help with stopping drinking? Trouble is I havent been doing too good on not drinking either//

Hi Cleo - I just wanted to send you a bit hug :l

I know nothing about self-harming so can't help you - but you sound so down and desperate. Please put away the scapel and find someone to talk to - a GP or anonymous helpline - please stop harming yourself.

[caysea]

Cutting..

Hi All
Cleo check out the site smart recovery. They deal with many addictions and along with this site can be very helpful. I know many times I have been it there chat room and self harm -cutting- is a topic members struggle with.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[InChains]

Cutting..

Used to self harm regularly, but mostly whilst drinking, its a habit and an addiction in its own right. It was hard to quit, you don't crave it the same way, its like a build up of pressure that you have to let out, least thats how I felt. If you want somebody to talk to about it any time, I have been through it, I have used it to quit drinking and to punish myself for drinking - I'm here if you need a chat.

[K9Lover]

Cutting..

Hi Cleo!

I don't know personally about cutting, but I have read and seen a lot of information about it. My self-harm was less visible...drinking and smoking myself to a slow death. Both means of self-harm are some sort of release of tension, anxiety, even boredom. Can you talk to a doctor or a help line? Please be careful. Sorry I can't be of more help, but I wanted to send you this :l

Love,
K9

[YouKayBee]

Cutting..

Cutting is thought to release endorphins for some people, Naltrexone and The Sinclair Method has potential to help with this but I've not heard of any research on this. Something perhaps for the future, but thought I'd mention it.

[treetops]

Cutting..

Hi Cleo
Its hard to deal with this on-line and I think others are right in that you need face-to-face help. Altho self harm and drinking are linked they will require different strategies - if you are to help yourself - in my opinion. From experience I know that drinking only masks the issues behind the self harm - and it all becomes a vicious cycle. Its too easy to self harm when one has AL in one's body - not only is the mind muddified but also the actual physical pain can be reduced. Many of us are also much more impulsive when drunk (even just slightly drunk) - or we tend to become very self-absorbed and very depressed. We wallow and cut ourselves off. I am not denying your pain but self harm and cutting will not help you stop drinking - as clearly it is not from what you posted. It only compounds self-loathing.
Stopping drinking will be boring and very tense - but using another form of self abuse is not going to do you any favors. People on MWO have lots of tips for helping to ease the early days of quitting.
Take care Cleo and talk in person to someone who knows about this. See a sympathetic GP - you may also need some meds for the depression. I did and the meds also helped with stopping self-harming as well. I am sure you are aware of this but you are also at risk of getting an infection from the cutting.

[Cleo Night]

Cutting..

thankyou all for the responses, thoughts, offers etc..they are appreciated

hate to say it but I ended up in hospital..I cut too much, broke down, talked to helpline, police showed up, ambulance showed up...I was in er a few hours then transferred to mental health ward. which though scary at first wasnt too bad. but a heap came out from that..all my family found out, i am supposed to be living in a dry house, no drinks, no blades etc. on new medication which helping more than the last. but still get very down, like today, and think that is my main problem rather than alcohol. but alcohol is certainly part of it..

started cutting again today cause I was just so effin worked up and could not deal..also bought secret drinkies while out mothers day shopping..fuck it know i am doing wrong thing but cant help it fml and hate being like this not being who i thought i am which is a lot more easy going etc..

[Cleo Night]

Cutting..

And ty for the advice but I had stopped drinking and it didnt help was still super depressed...always thought my main problem was depression over alcohol and think now that it is

[Wagoneer]

Cutting..

Cleo, it really is good that you ended up in the hospital, because the outcome woudl have been far worse. Keeping you in my thoughts. Depression is a beast which is only fueled further by alcohol as you are well aware. Stop drinking, and deal with the dpression head on. Talk to the doctor. Please stop drinking so the meds can help you. You are among friends here who care about you.

Love Waggy

[TheSunFlower]

Cutting..

Cleo...I hear you. I have never cut before. However, I want to honest with you. People here really care, but they can not help you. Cutting is a different dynamic than drinking too much and throwing up.

And anyone can tell me if I am wrong.....AL abused me and everyone around me. Cutting is such a personal harming to ones self.....that we can support you and love you.....I doubt that we can actally......be the end all of help.

Get the help you need. We will all be here fpr you!

[Nichau]

Cutting..

Depression, cutting, drinking. I think they're all very intertwined. I have been depressed since the late 1960s, and I used to hurt myself when I was a teen. Drinking was fun a lot of the time and took me away from my issues for the time being. Drinking was good! I didn't feel normal unless I drank every day. While my physical self-harm kind of went away on its own as I got older, I continued to drink. Eventually I was drinking in the morning to get to work (a place I affectionately call HELL), drinking on my breaks, and drinking after work until bedtime. It made me cope, I thought.

My anti-depressants weren't working very well. I was working a shit job for shit pay. My husband switched to 3rd shift, which I despised, and was probably working 10-20 hours a week. Bills were piling up. Husband is depressed and drank 84 beers last week. I had gained 30 pounds and my health was going downhill. I just couldn't see things getting any better, or me getting out of this rut.

Here's what I did, and maybe it'll help you, too:

1) I got in to see a new therapist.
2) I quit drinking. (Today is two weeks!)
3) I was diligent on taking my meds?pain meds for my other health issues, and vitamins, Campral, Antibuse, and my antidepressant, EVERY DAY.
4) I started eating better.

The key is to take 'baby steps'. I still have my shit job, but I am starting school in the fall because I'll be damned if I'm going to wither away at something I hate until I retire. I still have a depressed drunk husband, but I know that there is nothing I can do or say to change where he is; that he is the one who has to want to change. I still have bills looming over me. But I feel better. I am starting to like myself again. I am putting ME first, whereas formerly I always put ME last.

I can't save anyone else without saving myself first.

Take baby steps, Cleo. Talk to a professional and tell them what's going on.

:l