Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

trying to stop.

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 4
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
    #16
    trying to stop.

    You could try planning ahead BEFORE your weekend starts.. we are most likely to start binge drinking on Fridays if there is nothing else to do.. Plan ahead, go to the movies.. go to a mall, go visit family or friends who don't drink.. Get a good book and read, if you believe in God, why not go to church on Sundays?
    Try to keep yourself busy during the weekends to get your mind off alcohol.. Try helping someone in need.. etc. Once you accomplish your first alcohol free weekend, start planning the next one.. If you are not able to do it on your own, you may decide to go to an AA meeting, there is no shame in that.. you'll get amazing help there too..

    Comment

      #17
      trying to stop.

      The rest of the story

      Okay. Here is sit at 4:00 am unable to sleep. No not hung over, it is a weekday and I work tomorrow, That is my safe time. Hubby works tomorrow also, so he is not likely to go off.
      We have lived with this situation for more years than I really know. He has a crack addiction. This has made life difficult for us. Lately, it has gotten worse. In the past year and 1/2 he has probably tried to quit 25 times. He becomes extremely moody. Yells, calls me a prostitute (i wonder if he knows what one is) throws things and then breaks down and gets his fix. He smokes all his paychecks and then turns to me for money for the week. I work. I pay the bills. I try to hide money and the shame of this.
      He has gone to rehab. It did not take.
      I am tired. I am alone. All friends and family have left us to our selves. I have prayed to God out of the depths of my soul.
      And I have begun to drink and join him in his little pasttime.
      Not a pretty picture. But there it is.
      I do not wish to live like this. I hate feeling bad. I hate the hangovers, the regrets, the scorn I see on my daughters face.

      I am just afraid.
      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

      Comment

        #18
        trying to stop.

        Please, please, PLEASE do whatever it takes to get yourselves clean. I have witnessed the horror of crack addiction first hand in the workplace in a former colleague. Management begged him to get clean and even offered to send him to rehab, an offer that was rebuffed. It was only after he ended up in county lockup for 2 months after assaulting his girlfriend (ironically the one that introduced him to crack) that he was finally dismissed. This person was brilliant at what he did and held a high rank within our organization and now with multiple felony convictions and the stigma of being widely-known as a former crack addict, he is unemployable.
        In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

        Comment

          #19
          trying to stop.

          Yes

          That is why I am here right now. Doing what I need to do for an addiction free life.
          No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

          Comment

            #20
            trying to stop.

            Hi Ya.

            Welcome LB,

            I've only been here, actively, for very short time, but hello and hugs to you.

            In my very long and not very illustrious drinking career the names I called myself have varied over the years.

            Problem Drinker.. Not too bad, could do better. Has the odd mishap now and then. She'd be fine if she could just cut down a bit.

            Heavy Drinker... One of the girls don't you know. She can hold it like a man. She behaves like one too, a Navvy
            .
            Social Drinker. Why don't you lot hurry up and get on with it for God's sake so I can be as social as I'd like. In fact why don't you lot piss off so I can drink the way I want to.

            Secret Drinker Ha Ha aren't I clever. No one will know, Hee Hee Hee. You don't know I've had a dead start !

            Weekend Drinker. Yea but it was my birthday, aunties funeral only just this Wednesday and I've ha a really shit day and I NEED a drink.Jesus what day is it ?

            Occassional Drinker I'm fine if I can just get right off my face now and then. On any occassion I like

            Holiday Drinker. Great I can get wrecked every day all day and start as early as I like. Happy Xmas. Hic.

            Binge Drinker If I could get away with it I'd drink every day but I got to either keep it together in between to a) earn money to pay for my booze b) give my liver rest c) let the dust settle cos I really did it this time. Take your pick.

            Controlled Drinker. Look I'm just like you. I can do this No probs ! Can you hear my teeth grinding.

            Alcoholic Drinker Who me ? Never ever. Look I can stop when I want. I can stop for days at a time and often do. Ooops I seem to have had a bit of a binge. Anything but an ALCOHOLIC

            LB, I've done them all. It didn't matter what I called myself it always always always lands up the same way. Me + Drink = Disaster.

            Look after yourself and your kids. Your Partner must make his own way. If you stay with him he will be your reason to drink. Then justify your behaviour to yourself and others.

            Been there and done that one.

            Lea with love. X
            Today, I will live one day at a time and do one thing at a time

            It was obvious from a very early age that my mind and I were not going to get on. Kay Redfield Jameson

            Comment

              #21
              trying to stop.

              tomorrow

              I worry about tomorrow. I know that I am only suppose to live in today, but Friday is my stressday for drinking. I alternative plans already, I just hope my hubby will let me carry them out. I wish I could go somewhere else safe, but having no money (first of month) and not many friends, this is not an option at this time. wish me luck.
              I clean Miss L's house tomorrow. House full of AL and a crazy lady (not in a good way).
              Dear Lord help me get and stay sober.:thumbs:
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

              Comment

                #22
                trying to stop.

                the Plan

                I have a plan. if hubby get anxie or irritable to the point where I think he is going to go off, I am going to barracade myself and the beagles into the barbershop. I have the key because I clean for them. They are closed for weekends and that's when I clean so I will clean while doing this, two birds with one stone. Ha! I am going to put together an escape kit. snacks, little computer, etc. Hopefully it will not come to that.
                No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                Comment

                  #23
                  trying to stop.

                  little beagle;1500507 wrote: I have a plan. if hubby get anxie or irritable to the point where I think he is going to go off, I am going to barracade myself and the beagles into the barbershop. I have the key because I clean for them. They are closed for weekends and that's when I clean so I will clean while doing this, two birds with one stone. Ha! I am going to put together an escape kit. snacks, little computer, etc. Hopefully it will not come to that.
                  Little Beagle

                  Do whatever you have to to keep yourself safe, even if it feels rude or anti-social. Drinking to excess is anti-social and I bet your Hubby will appreciate you sober.
                  I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

                  Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

                  AF date 22/07/13

                  Comment

                    #24
                    trying to stop.

                    If Only.

                    He's the one who wants me to drink. A drunk little beagle is compliant. Here I am in the barbershop hiding. Already he's getting anxious and angry. He's thrown boiling water across the kitchen and so on. He isn't always like this, but I honestly believe that crack poassesses his soul. It is a demon. I have seen a lot of things in my time, but this is definayely the worst. Dr Jeckyl and Mr. Hide have Nothing on him. I know. Get away from him. Well it is coming to that. No matter how tough it is for me to live w/out him. Starving will be better then this. I will not drink. I will not give in to pressure to drink just to please him!!! Not today. Not again.
                    No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                    Comment

                      #25
                      trying to stop.

                      You deserve better than this LB, no one should live in fear. :l

                      Comment

                        #26
                        trying to stop.

                        little beagle,
                        Protect yourself, call 911 if you need help.
                        Stay safe :l
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment

                          #27
                          trying to stop.

                          Do what you can to stay to stay safe. Are there support services you can call. You have the will and you have a plan. Stay away from him and protect yourself. Value yourself.

                          Comment

                            #28
                            trying to stop.

                            Hi Little B.

                            I feel for you so much. What a tough situation. Crack is nearly an impossibly drug to get out from under. You have a daughter and I worry about the 2 of you. If your hiding like this, afraid and in danger, you may consider leaving the man completely.

                            This is a terrible situation for both you and her. I know you said your family is leaving you to yourselves but perhaps if you showed up without him, at their door, your suitcases in hand....they would help.

                            Stay close, honey. And like lav said don't be afraid to call 911?

                            :l
                            On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                            *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                            https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                            Comment

                              #29
                              trying to stop.

                              Thank you all. I really want to help him fight this demon. Sometimes it helps to just get away from him. I will not give in this time. I will keep myself safe. As safe As possible. My daughter is grown and not in danger. Honestly, my family is not there for me. I have to use my wits to get out of this myself. I can do it. I will make my life worth living again. I will. I am determined. This is his last chance to stop. He knows it. Iam working enough to support myself And I will leave if he doesn't. Lot him get angry, let him scream, just let him stop. That is my prayer.
                              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                              Comment

                                #30
                                trying to stop.

                                Keep making your plans, little B and moving forward. We are all here for you

                                Stay close. :l
                                On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                                *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                                https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                                https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 2 3 4 template Next
                                Working...
                                X