Help!

[JackDanielsGirl]

I understand that I am an alky; however everytime I fall my hubs berates me to the point of if I really care. I really feel he is a dry drunk. When I went almost 30 days I never thought or wanted it. He says he wants it everyday he just "white knuckles it".

Am I wrong? if so please let me know if not help me to explain to him what a dry drunk is. He has no conception of this disease.
JDG

[little beagle]

Help!

I would like to know what a dry drunk is too.
Not feeling supported is difficult. I feel for you. My hubby drinks in front of me now. He was keeping it outside and away from me for the first 5 weeks. I will just send you strong thoughts to get through the rough patches.

[kronkcarr]

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Hi,

I'm on my phone and can't copy the article for you. Here's an interesting link about dry drunks. It talks about dry drunk behavior causing relapse and that's not the part I wanted. Skip down to their definition of dry drunk. I hope this helps until others chime in.

http://www.cignabehavioral.com/web/b...pendency10.pdf

[NoraC]

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Oh JDG - :l:l I am so sorry that your husband isn't being supportive. I wish that I had an answer for you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you. :h

[Kohl mom]

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My husband is not supportive either....he will yell at me. I wish he would hug me. I know he loves me- but hates me too. It makes me more stressed. We have a great family, but I just don't know why I am like this... I am seeing my therapist and a therapist specifically for alcoholism-abuse. I am taking Antabuse - I didn't take it for a few days and relapsed. I feel horrible. We were on vaca and I was so stressed ...my dad had a heart attack and his nurse kept texting and calling me. Then my dad escaped from rehab... W his estranged daughter- he is not allowed to leave.. Insurance purposes. And she is a bad person- steals. So he was dropped off later that night he was throwing up. He is slowly of kidney disease... We have around 6 months.! My husband is having heart surgery by August... It is so stressful... I am trying though.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Help!

im so tired of feeling worthless.

thank you all for your help I believe im beyond help.

Love you all> see you on the flip side.
JDG

[NoraC]

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JDG - you are not worthless. :l:l You are a wonderful woman. I am sorry that your husband berates you. That should NOT be happening.

My friend - you are absolutely not beyond help. The fact that you and I are here.....taking it a day at a time means that we are not beyond help. Actually, today is my Day 1 again. Yes, yet again. Can I invite you to join me. Can we hold each others hands and not let the bad feelings pull us down?:h:h:h

[NoSugar]

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JackDanielsGirl;1520719 wrote: im so tired of feeling worthless.

thank you all for your help I believe im beyond help.

Love you all> see you on the flip side.
JDG

Hi, JDG

You sought out and joined MWO so that means you know deep down you have worth -- and you are worth saving from this awful addiction.

You are NOT beyond help. I've read some posts here by people who have 'found their way out' and are living relatively happy AF lives who have experienced things beyond my imagination. Who have consumed quantities of alcohol that I would not have thought physically possible and now they are FREE.

Your husband is acting like a jerk about this right now. Maybe inside he is terrified about the subject and so refuses to think about the underlying issues. Your doing so might be threatening. I hope that beneath this is a good person and that you can find your way back to one another. But first, you've got to find yourself and the only way to do that is to dump the alcohol and don't pick it up again. For awhile, at least in this area of your life, it seems like you will just have to ignore your husband. If you can calmly stick with it and get stronger and stronger each day, perhaps the criticism will lessen. In any case, the stronger you are, the more you will be able to handle it.

Please come here and post when you are sad and frustrated. We can't fix it but we can listen.

:h NS

[199days]

Help!

Think i went through a "dry drunk " stage missing drinking and getting constant romantic thoughts about it.

The Jason Vale book changed all that for me.

Now I am finding sobriety not only easy but Amazing, you gotta change your thoughts..Look at it for what it is, a drug that the sheep like masses all need to drink just so they can enjoy themselves. Years and years ago it was rebellious to drink and drug, its rebellious and cool to be sober and live sober now...The Sheep ba ba ba congregate at bars and pubs herd like following each other drinking a toxic drug.

Why did it take me so long to realise that life sober raw and real is a trillion times better than that horrid half cut/hungover same ole rinse and repeat bs.

be lucky

[Kohl mom]

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jDG- it will get better.... Don't lose faith. My father committed suicide. He never received treatment or help. I do not want to stop trying.... Life can be hard. We can make it together. XO-Kohl Mom

[Persephone1]

Help!

199days;1520786 wrote:
Now I am finding sobriety not only easy but Amazing, you gotta change your thoughts..Look at it for what it is, a drug that the sheep like masses all need to drink just so they can enjoy themselves. Years and years ago it was rebellious to drink and drug, its rebellious and cool to be sober and live sober now...The Sheep ba ba ba congregate at bars and pubs herd like following each other drinking a toxic drug.

Why did it take me so long to realise that life sober raw and real is a trillion times better than that horrid half cut/hungover same ole rinse and repeat bs.
be lucky
:agreed:

Hi JDG,
I am sorry you're struggling and feeling so down right now. Alcohol just makes a bad situation worse and its a radical depressant. Are u taking or have u considered meds as a spring board? This approach really works for some folks who just need to get some sober time under their belts to start seeing clearer and getting solid. If you are interested, there is a whole meds threads section and there are tons of supportive and informative people there. Please stick around and do not succumb to the worthlessness voices in your head. Lies, I tell you?lies. Please don't let alcohol get the best of you, its simply not worth it.

Kohl mom;1520805 wrote: jDG- it will get better.... Don't lose faith. My father committed suicide. He never received treatment or help. I do not want to stop trying.... Life can be hard. We can make it together. XO-Kohl Mom

KohlMom, SO sorry to hear this. What a tragedy. Please stay close and get the support you need.

We CAN do this with the support of one another. Take care all, P.

[free at last]

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JDG, just a note to say that you are not worthless -- we care about your well being and want you to triumph over alcohell. Please stay close and keep trying.

[JackDanielsGirl]

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Thank you all for your support. I am still not sure what to do at this point. We were in counseling and that helped but then he could "not" take off work. From his point of view this is ALL my fault. I am doing the very best I can.

Nora -c yes we can hold hands and do this one day at a time.

Love to all, you are precious people.
JDG:thanks:

[YoungAtHeart]

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Hi JDG,

Anyone who puts 100% of the blame on someone else is not being honest with themselves. But that is HIS problem. YOUR problem is drinking, at least right now. Whatever your other problems are, you can't deal with them with alcohol in the way. The hardest part of stopping drinking is deciding to. Once you've really decided, it is much easier. Please accept the help and support on this site, and get your own counseling, even if your husband doesn't participate. You will be the better for it.

People here will help you do what is best for YOU. And you ARE important.

Hugs,
YahYah :l

[sweetpea29]

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mollyka;1520642 wrote: Howdy!!! Well - my own personal definition of a 'dry drunk' is someone who literally just stops drinking - nothing else - doesn't change their lifestyle, their thoughts, or examine the reasons WHY they drank. To maintain sobriety it is essential to examine our past - and see what angers or resentments are there that could be a stumbling block in the future - and either reconcile ourselves with hurts that have happened to us, or that we have inflicted on others - or 'deal' with them.
The present behaviours must be looked at too --- we often behaved badly while drinking - but often those same moods, anxieties, angers carry on --- it is almost inevitable imo that someone who 'carries' all that around inside them will relapse.
However ---- and this is important. In the early early days of recovery --- certainly for the first couple of months --- again imvho ---- it IS enough to just not drink. That in itself is enough of a battle sometimes to deal with --- to try and look at our whole lives, our persona's, our defects at this stage would be utterly overwhelming --- when you start feeling a bit stronger in sobriety -- it almost automatically falls into place the 'looking' at the issues that may need addressing - the people that don't 'look' then tho --- are potentially going to end up as dry drunks ---- just my VERY simplistic take on the syndrome..... ;-)
Molly

JDG sorry to gate crash your thread- would like to send you my best wishes:l

Just reading around and found this and would like to thank Molls for sharing about her take on dry drunks. It's been something floating about in my head this past while and this post helps somewhat in clarifying things for me anyhows. Thanks Molls xx