I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

[Tabitha Violet]

Hey,
I'm in an awful situation.
I have been with my partner for about 18months and we have a beautiful 5 month old daughter.
we are really happy together, and he has brought me a ring and was about to propose in the coming months.
But on Saturday I stayed at one of my friends house who i have been friends with for life. I was completely drunk and was by myself and their eldest brother who i had not seen for 6years (we use to have a thing) come over without me even knowing. I had no feeling or attractions for him whatsoever. anyway i can't remember too much as i was really intoxicated, i then must have blacked out but when i came to my senses after 10 to 20 seconds i was giving him head. I stopped immediately and screamed WTF and then vomited all over him! I felt so ashamed and so angry at myself. The next day my partner come to pick me up and I had to tell him.
I never keep anything from him I tell him everything and i mean everything. I also spewed whilst i was telling him. He took it better then i expected but now were both a complete mess. I tried to kill myself the next day as knowing that I may lose him forever was too much for me to bare. I love him with my entire heart and soul, i have never loved another like this. He has been having sexual activities with me but i feel like he is using me now. I don't blame him though, but he said he just wants to feel intimacy but there isn't.
He has said to me that he wants this to work so bad, and what we had was amazing but he is finding it hard.
I am trying to show him that i had no intentions whatsoever and he said he knows that and he knows how horrible and extremely sorry i feel.
I just want to know how and what can we do to make things get better? I know everyone says time but I'm afraid time is not on my side in this situation.:upset:

[treetops]

I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

Welcome to MWO.
I see that this is your first post. We are here to mainly help with your alcohol problems. Is that what you want to address?
As you have come on to this website we can only state the obvious - that in order to work through this and deal with the future you need to address your drinking. You say a lot about your intimate relations but little about the drinking - what is your drinking history, have you had help before, do you want to quite alcohol, what do you want to do about that?

There is a Newbies Nest (under the My Way Out forums) that you should consider posting on to get lots of support to deal with your drinking.


Best of luck

[Samstone]

I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

Hello and welcome!

Seems to me that you must first understand how you got into your predicament, sounds like getting trashed was the biggest mistake because every thing else followed.

If, in fact, you actually tried to take your own life, I might suggest you need to really talk to someone of the professional caliber.


SS

[Kradle123]

I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

Hi Tabitha,
I agree with Tree And Sam...is A
Cool the main problem you are facing?
We all make terrible choices along the way, there is thread which addresses this. I'll try to get it up for you.

Still , Sam makes a good point- this kind of extreme emotion and still even more extreme reactions sounds more indicative of some pretty severe physiological upset with you.

I'm glad you've found us because your daughter us just starting out. You can make this better. I promise. You sound very young. Use this awful experience as your starting point to turn it around. Lots of help here. Lots and lots and lots

Please see the links in my signature to the newbies newsstand tool box.
stay close:l

PS
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f7...unk-58043.html

This is another thread which might help

[Kradle123]

I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

See? You're not Alone!!

:l:h

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...unk-58660.html

[Nursie]

I Cheated on my partner with no intentions

I know one thing. I don't cheat, lie or hurt people when I'm sober. I wish you luck with gaining sobriety and then everything else should fall into place.