Husband left.... Need some help

[3June2013]

Husband left.... Need some help

Looking for peace hows it going today? I just want you to know I am about to tackle two junk baskets and it is because of you. Every time we share we help someone. You've helped me today. Thanks.

[looking for peace]

Husband left.... Need some help

June, I'm glad I was able to help someone... I am going to dive into one or two junk drawers while watching a movie on Netflix. I've come to realize that most of my drawers have become junk drawers. After being really neglectful, I have a mix of clothes in the clothes drawers (underwear mixed with jeans and socks, really old clothes mixed with new). I have enough to keep me busy for awhile.


I'm actually not doing too badly today. I had a lot to do during the day, which kept me busy. I took my autistic son out to dinner he loves to sit in the bar areas of restaurants, so we sat at the bar during an Oktoberfest celebration. The beer and wine was flowing all around me and I read my book on my kindle, ate my soup and read.

Thanks for asking......

[treetops]

Husband left.... Need some help

How are you today LFP.? taking cAre of yourself and getting into the small pleasures are important in getting AF again. Sending lots of warm wishes

[looking for peace]

Husband left.... Need some help

Well, will post no matter what. Yesterday was not good. My husband picked up our son to take him to the synagogue for Yom Kippur, he picked up more clothes and I went into a tail spin. I drank a total of 2 bottles of wine thru the evening and it ended in a bad drunken phone call to him. Drinking NEVER helps a situation, it ALWAYS makes it worse. I was so shaken when he left that I just shut off the logical part of my brain immediately and gave into the beast. It's like something took over. How do you stop yourself when that happens? It's different than dealing with a craving at the witching hour. I can breathe through that and deal with it, but this didn't seem to give me a chance to take one breath.

I am sorry to disappoint everyone, especially myself. I'm back on track today. No more booze in the house. :upset:

[Sake123]

Husband left.... Need some help

What you're going through must be incredibly hard. And I don't think that anyone here is perfect or judging your mistakes.

How do we stop ourselves when XX happens? I don't know. For me, I am simply trying to take each day is it comes and I keep reminding myself that 1)I just don't drink 2)I will never wake up thinking "I WISH I had drank yesterday"

Hang in there and just don't drink today. My personal experience has been that it gets a little easier with each passing day. It doesn't take away our problems but makes us a little healthier and have some energy to face them head on with a clear mind.

[MossRose]

Husband left.... Need some help

Peace, you are going through such a traumatic time right now. Wish I had the perfect words, but I don't. So just know I'm standing beside you. And saying prayers for you and your son.

[looking for peace]

Husband left.... Need some help

Thanks for everyone's kind words. Back to square one today. I'm doing well as far not drinking is concerned. I am really trying to turn this situation into a changing point in my life. I'm looking to see what I can learn from it. As much as I have painful moments. I am not wallowing them an for today, I am not drowning them out. One day at a time. After the guilt of my latest binge faded, I actually feel a bit better and I have some glimmers of hope.

[broken halo]

Husband left.... Need some help

Hang on to those glimmers. I see you as a shining star. You flipped initially, but then you got your act together. My tuppence worth? Do it for you. Not to 'show him'. :l

[Wagoneer]

Husband left.... Need some help

Peace - I am sorry to be late to this thread. My heart breaks for you and your son. You are a good person and a great mom - remember that. You're right, booze never fixes anything, but we are not perfect and shit happens. Get back on that damn sober horse and don't look back. Stay strong and know that you are worthy of a wonderful, sober life and this could be the beginning of something really, really good and exciting! A new start! We are here for you!

Love Waggy

[Sake123]

Husband left.... Need some help

Peace - I'm happy to hear that you're doing well right now. While life throws some horrible struggles at us, you seem to be using them to gain strength. None of us know what the future holds...all we can do is focus on what we can do in the here and now. Life will unfold and I do believe that beautiful things are in store..no matter where we are at in our struggles, there are always surprises on the horizon!

[halo]

Husband left.... Need some help

Peace, stay strong, those two bottles of wine and drunken phone calls are never going to make anything better. You need to focus on you, and remember it is his loss if he decides to leave. I always tell myself that life always sends you a really crappy and sometimes desperate hand from time to time , but it's how you play it out that truly matters. Find the help you need to come out of this better than ever. the MWO is a great resource to hold on to.....:h

[looking for peace]

Husband left.... Need some help

Halo, you are so right.... It made things worse. Anyway, I went to my therapist today in town and my husband picked up my son outside of the therapists office after my appointment to take him to dinner. I had such a reaction when I saw him that I regretted letting him take my son. I kept things to myself, but I felt like an angry cat hissing and arching my back and ready to pounce. I couldn't say hello or goodby. At that moment a vision of a drink crossed my mind. The feeling lasted about 10 minutes. I'm so glad I have this site to vent when at his feeling comes up. I'm back at home.... No liquor and watching Breaking Bad. Only 4 more hours till bedtime. I'll make it.

[looking for peace]

Husband left.... Need some help

Replying to myself.... I am using this thread for accountability and a reminder to myself, so that's ok. Still going well on AF. I never would have thought this would have been possible after my husband moving out. I have been at the gym every day and have kept very busy. Evenings are tough though. Most evenings I have a short period of time with anxiety and weeping. There is no booze in the house, so I don't cave in. I feel like I would cave in if it was there though and that is unsettling.

Maybe I'm too worried in advance, but I am really concerned to be around someone who drinks at the moment. I am concerned about social events or dinners at my house were there will be alcohol. I hope this goes away in time. I would love the feeling of indifference, like the way I feel when there are olives in the fridge. I like them a lot, but can leave them alone.

Maybe I am also afraid of the "stigma" of being labeled an alcoholic. As far as everyone is concerned, if there is no booze in the house it must mean an alcoholic lives there. What if someone were to come over and the cupboard is bare? I guess am afraid more than I thought of what others think,

[available]

Husband left.... Need some help

dont worry what others think and if you are worried tell them. I never thought i would tell anyone that i am an alcoholic but i have told my children and that was a huge step. They are so supportive and are very proud of me. If people want to drink, tell them to BYO. If you dont want to say you are not drinking say you have a tummy bug, lots of excuses to make up for not drinking like when we drank there were lots of excuses to drink. I dont have any AL in the house as it is too dangerous for me although mind you there was never any AL in the house as i drank it. You are doing really well LFP keep up the great work. Day 19 for me and I never thought I could do that. If any need at all PM me please.

[NoSugar]

Husband left.... Need some help

Hi, Peace

You have many changes going on and it really sounds like you are doing every thing you can to handle them. If anyone asks, you could just say you are starting a new life on all levels. Giving up alcohol can be on the same level as exercising daily. All the best to you! NS