can't sleep and hate people

[available]

can't sleep and hate people

:hug::hug:Hey Ent, dont KNOW you will go on a bender as that is a negative attitude to have. You have to know you ARE NOT going to go on a bender as you have too much at stake in being sober.

What do you feel sorry about? We all feel sorry and remorseful for what we have done while drinking but we cant take it back or else all of us would change things in our life. We need to move on and try and improve ourselves so that we keep AL out of our lives to be a better person.

Keep trying Ent, i can relate to your pain but try and be strong, keep on here and keep posting and reading.

I am still sending you hugs.

[little beagle]

can't sleep and hate people

Hey Entity I too know what it feels like to feel bad about past mistakes. But dwelling on them will not help you. Look back at the past, don't stare. Just learn and do better. Honestly that's all we can do. As long as you remain af you will make progress.
Don't beat yourself up. You remember way more then anyone else does about what you did.

[gambler]

can't sleep and hate people

Hey Entity .. I hope your feeling better. I would like to break down your post for a second if you dont mind..

Entity;1560796 wrote: At the moment, i cant stand myself.
I have been there..Its not an easy place to be I know. Remember ..When the moment clears you will start to see yourself as who YOU ARE. Your seeing yourself right now through beer goggles ( or what ever your flavor is ). Its Not real. You Think you are looking at yourself when in fact your not. So dont equate what you see as who you really are.. that might help some.

Entity;1560796 wrote: I just feel sorry and remorsefull

Ok..lets pause here. I agree with the others ..I think you Need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Dont take this the wrong way now .. Im saying that this is a never ending cycle that starts and repeats itself over and over and never stops. Im just saying its a Necessity to stop this cycle. Dont worry (and you know what im saying) about if you drink or fall after a week or what ever happens..just keep going Entity. When you break the chain it can no longer leave you in "that place". Unless you hurt someone else your only hurting yourself..not a good thing..so :l :h K..

Entity;1560796 wrote: when i know i go on a bender. It's hard at the moment

Again I agree Available..You dont want to think probabilities. Think Positive and then take action and put it in motion In Your Mind. And it is all in your mind after 3-4 days after the drink is out of your system.

Read and read some more. Post and post like mad if you can like everyone has told anyone to do that is ready to stop drinking. It does help a lot !

Hang in there .. be strong and Know your not along.. k .. :l

Dave

[spacebebe01]

can't sleep and hate people

Hi entity I am so glad you are still posting its good to hear from you. You are so lucky to still have such a good friend, you should tell him what you are doing and I think you could maybe confide in him of the things that are troubling you. Often the saying a trouble shcared is a trouble halved is very true I have found talking about the things I worry most about to be so relieving. You are doing so well these first days are hard and you can expect to be thinking about drink most of the time and also thinking about all the bad stuff, it is the effect of the alcohol leaving your body and the withdrawals that you will be thinking about the bad stuff. But it will not stay for long, just a few days for most in fact you may be past it already. Keep up the good work and try to divert your attention in any way you can, keep up your fluid levels by drinking anything g you want as long as its not alcoholic and also eat what you want, this is not the time to be worry about diet or anything like that if you crave chocolate or pies have them I always have found that I do start to crave food when I stop a bender its probably a combination of sugar levels being messed up and the habit of reaching out for something needing comfort in some way.

Hi available I have alaways been baffled by some peoples opinion when drug addicts try to quit and they get so much sympathy and people thinking they are doing so well and its so hard for them but when we try to quit its like well so you should with no idea that we where addicted and going through the same thing, sure the physical withdrawals may be worse with a lot of drugs but the cravings and obbessions and all the depression and bad thoughts about ourselves are the same. I was hospitalised a few times during withdrawal so mine wasn't exactly a piece of cake either. I do think though that you somehow need to start trusting him, not doing this is not helping either you or him. This is going to be very hard for you but you need to find the strength from somewhere so you can rebuild your relationship back together, and I think the dog idea is a brilliant one and should really help with the trust, he is going out daily and has every opportunity to score and take his drugs but he isn't, that is proof he is doing this. My son unfortunately has now stopped going out, he had started goping to the shop at 6.30am when no one else is around and I know its going to be even harder for him to start again but I have to believe in him that he will do it, I now get up at 6.15 so I can wake him and remind him so the rest is up to him I cant do anything else on that score. I am also offering to take him out in the car but so far he is refusing. He is no longer sitting in his room smoking pot all the time because now he cant get it as he cant get out and has lost all his friends but has no life really, it breaks my heart but I have to believe he will find it in himself to change his own life. It is so hard when our sons are adults and make these mistakes in life, I want to take him by the hand and lead him but hes not a little child anymore so has to do it himself.

space x

[available]

can't sleep and hate people

Space, I feel so like you do regarding the drug habit and peoples narrow minded attitude to all forms of drugs and AL being a major one in life. The thing that struck me though was you last line i saying he is not a child anymore. No he is not a child to a lot of people but he is your child. My son does have to do it by himself but i will always be there for him just like you will be and if i have to hold his hand for whatever reason i will and he would for me too. He will get better eventually. I try to take my son out with me once on the weekend just to the shops, i am with him and there for him. He does not want to go but he does it for me. Its only for a coffee or to get something quick but it is done and dusted. Its the little things that make a difference. At whatever age they are your children and you are their mother and they never have to do anything by themselves as they have you.

[spacebebe01]

can't sleep and hate people

Hi available of course I feel like you do about my son, to me he is always my boy and I would do anything I possibly can to help him. What I meant in that last line is that I cannot force him to do anything it has to be his decision. I told him last week that I want us all (I have another son who is 14) to eat out at least once a fortnight, not a big expensive meal we couldn't afford that but even just for coffee and a cake or pizza and he has agreed. We had planned to go tonight but he didn't sleep last night so cant go today so we will try tomorrow. I will wait for him as long as it takes and will always be there. I know you always will for your son as well. Although our sons had different experiences I think we are both dealing with similar problems and have a lot in common. I have just come in with the weeks shopping and he said he wants to come with me next week, I will wait then and go on a day he can manage. I have confidence that we will both do this, your son sounds like he is making massive progress, mine has had a little set back but he will get back on track. I will always be here for him no matter what.

For a while I wasn't there for them because I was drinking so heavily and I vow to never let that happen again.

space x

[Entity]

can't sleep and hate people

spacebebe01;1560969 wrote: Hi entity I am so glad you are still posting its good to hear from you. You are so lucky to still have such a good friend, you should tell him what you are doing and I think you could maybe confide in him of the things that are troubling you. Often the saying a trouble shcared is a trouble halved is very true I have found talking about the things I worry most about to be so relieving. You are doing so well these first days are hard and you can expect to be thinking about drink most of the time and also thinking about all the bad stuff, it is the effect of the alcohol leaving your body and the withdrawals that you will be thinking about the bad stuff. But it will not stay for long, just a few days for most in fact you may be past it already. Keep up the good work and try to divert your attention in any way you can, keep up your fluid levels by drinking anything g you want as long as its not alcoholic and also eat what you want, this is not the time to be worry about diet or anything like that if you crave chocolate or pies have them I always have found that I do start to crave food when I stop a bender its probably a combination of sugar levels being messed up and the habit of reaching out for something needing comfort in some way.

Hi available I have alaways been baffled by some peoples opinion when drug addicts try to quit and they get so much sympathy and people thinking they are doing so well and its so hard for them but when we try to quit its like well so you should with no idea that we where addicted and going through the same thing, sure the physical withdrawals may be worse with a lot of drugs but the cravings and obbessions and all the depression and bad thoughts about ourselves are the same. I was hospitalised a few times during withdrawal so mine wasn't exactly a piece of cake either. I do think though that you somehow need to start trusting him, not doing this is not helping either you or him. This is going to be very hard for you but you need to find the strength from somewhere so you can rebuild your relationship back together, and I think the dog idea is a brilliant one and should really help with the trust, he is going out daily and has every opportunity to score and take his drugs but he isn't, that is proof he is doing this. My son unfortunately has now stopped going out, he had started goping to the shop at 6.30am when no one else is around and I know its going to be even harder for him to start again but I have to believe in him that he will do it, I now get up at 6.15 so I can wake him and remind him so the rest is up to him I cant do anything else on that score. I am also offering to take him out in the car but so far he is refusing. He is no longer sitting in his room smoking pot all the time because now he cant get it as he cant get out and has lost all his friends but has no life really, it breaks my heart but I have to believe he will find it in himself to change his own life. It is so hard when our sons are adults and make these mistakes in life, I want to take him by the hand and lead him but hes not a little child anymore so has to do it himself.

space x

I don't deserve you guys (guys as in friends and all that it matters )
Spacebebe, i agree wholehearthly, sometimes it sounds like a competition.
I recently heard my friend got some pot, and he tries to make it some what "decent" but i don't want to get that far. I apologize if i miss something. :l