I never thought in a million years that I would be posting on a website like this. This past week has been the most awful in my entire lifetime. I really need help from those who are older and have much experience (experience with what you think when drunk). This post isn't so much about myself, but about my girlfriend. I will give a very quick background, then the details.
We have been dating since the spring and everything has been going very well. Family loves her, she has been a perfect mold to me. She worked in the music industry which involved getting people to go to shows and she left the company, because it involved flirting with men and she found that inappropriate due to our relationship. This is the kind of person she is. She left her last boyfriend because he did drugs and got drunk. She likes to drink, but remains in control...... until now.
I am completely devastated on what has happened. I have lost nearly 8-9 lbs this past week, stared at the wall for 6 days, and burst out crying randomly. I am having trouble looking at her the same way.
She went to cuba with her mother and her brother and during her time there, cheated on me twice (two nights in a row) with the same person. From what I have found out in our talks, this is the recap.
Night #1:
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She was in the disco area with her brother, looking after him, and there were a bunch of people there. This one guy kept bringing drinks around to everyone, and she gave into peer pressure and kept accepting the drinks he gave her. She had a lot to drink and says she doesn't know how much she actually had. She went outside of the disco area and he followed her, trying to hold her hand - she told him she had a boyfriend and went to leave and he went to kiss her. She moved, and he kissed her cheek. He kept trying until she finally just sat there and he got her on the lips.
She pushed him off thinking of what she would say to me - and before she knew it, she was kissing him back. They proceeded to makeout and he felt her up and fingered her. She said she felt "instant regret" and wanted it all back.
Night #2:
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During the day of night #2, she was in the pool and this same guy was there, grabbed her foot, hugged her, and tried to kiss her - she pushed him off and got out of the pool and left.
At night, she got drunk again and this guy ended up seeing her again (he was also drinking so I am told). The same thing ended up happening, in addition to them walking back to his hotel room. She said as soon as she got to the hotel room, she left within 2 minutes because it felt so wrong and it hit her what was going on.
She spent the rest of the week crying and overdosing on anxiety pills.
My questions are:
1) WHY?????? I have never been drunk - can her being drunk really have caused this? I am tormented by the thoughts of him fingering her .....and her probably moaning about it. I haven't been this sick and upset in my entire life. I don't know if I can get over this. Why two nights in a row?
2) Can a woman who has done this please chime in? Did she think it was over after night 1 and was so disgusted that she drank herself to drunknesness to numb the pain on night 2 - but then was drunk again so it ended up happening twice? I'm at a horrible loss with no answers.
I haven't been able to function in a week, my job is suffering, i'm losing weight, and what I am feeling is so crushing I can't even put it into words. WHY?????
Below, are the notes she wrote me for context (names removed) - maybe someone who has done this can help me and help me with what to do.
Other factors to note - she comes from a broken home (parents) and suffers from ROCD (relationship ocd). Her meds were for depression.
:upset:
We have been dating since the spring and everything has been going very well. Family loves her, she has been a perfect mold to me. She worked in the music industry which involved getting people to go to shows and she left the company, because it involved flirting with men and she found that inappropriate due to our relationship. This is the kind of person she is. She left her last boyfriend because he did drugs and got drunk. She likes to drink, but remains in control...... until now.
I am completely devastated on what has happened. I have lost nearly 8-9 lbs this past week, stared at the wall for 6 days, and burst out crying randomly. I am having trouble looking at her the same way.
She went to cuba with her mother and her brother and during her time there, cheated on me twice (two nights in a row) with the same person. From what I have found out in our talks, this is the recap.
Night #1:
---------
She was in the disco area with her brother, looking after him, and there were a bunch of people there. This one guy kept bringing drinks around to everyone, and she gave into peer pressure and kept accepting the drinks he gave her. She had a lot to drink and says she doesn't know how much she actually had. She went outside of the disco area and he followed her, trying to hold her hand - she told him she had a boyfriend and went to leave and he went to kiss her. She moved, and he kissed her cheek. He kept trying until she finally just sat there and he got her on the lips.
She pushed him off thinking of what she would say to me - and before she knew it, she was kissing him back. They proceeded to makeout and he felt her up and fingered her. She said she felt "instant regret" and wanted it all back.
Night #2:
---------
During the day of night #2, she was in the pool and this same guy was there, grabbed her foot, hugged her, and tried to kiss her - she pushed him off and got out of the pool and left.
At night, she got drunk again and this guy ended up seeing her again (he was also drinking so I am told). The same thing ended up happening, in addition to them walking back to his hotel room. She said as soon as she got to the hotel room, she left within 2 minutes because it felt so wrong and it hit her what was going on.
She spent the rest of the week crying and overdosing on anxiety pills.
My questions are:
1) WHY?????? I have never been drunk - can her being drunk really have caused this? I am tormented by the thoughts of him fingering her .....and her probably moaning about it. I haven't been this sick and upset in my entire life. I don't know if I can get over this. Why two nights in a row?
2) Can a woman who has done this please chime in? Did she think it was over after night 1 and was so disgusted that she drank herself to drunknesness to numb the pain on night 2 - but then was drunk again so it ended up happening twice? I'm at a horrible loss with no answers.
I haven't been able to function in a week, my job is suffering, i'm losing weight, and what I am feeling is so crushing I can't even put it into words. WHY?????
Below, are the notes she wrote me for context (names removed) - maybe someone who has done this can help me and help me with what to do.
Other factors to note - she comes from a broken home (parents) and suffers from ROCD (relationship ocd). Her meds were for depression.
:upset:
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