Well, it looks as though my boyfriend is never coming back. I'm really glad I told him though, I could never have built a relationship based on lies with him. And I also realized there were some aspects of our relationship that were not perfect and that led me to drink that night. My boyfriend basically told me that he could never imagine a future for us, and that was enough to trigger all my insecurities. It is not an excuse though! I know that what I did was wrong! I just realized that I was lying to myself by staying in a relationship with hi, and that I should probably have ended it sooner.
I have been able to stay away from drinking, though it has been really hard this weekend. My flatmate loves to drink and have a good time, so it is really hard to be the one who stays at home on a Saturday night. I'm starting to feel good about myself though. I was also able to turn down free Whiskey and red wine which my local shop owner offered to me once I stopped buying alcohol from him. He even gave me a handful of beer glasses to make me start drinking again. I feel like I am doing alright ....
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